Robotech Blooper Reels

[taalismn]

[

Minmei: (Climbing out of the bear) "Now, about my new tax plan."

Minmei: "I intend to pass a tax on maniacal monologuing. Any hateful monologue running longer than one minute will be taxed accordingly."
T.R. Edwards: "....damn, that's going to hurt....."

[batlchip]

Ice cream girl(holds up sign) What if we don't talk?

[taalismn]

Ice cream girl(holds up sign) What if we don't talk?

We switch to sign language and subtitles.

[SRoss]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

"Ever been to sea Billy?"

[taalismn]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

"

"Hide Beneath the Waves."

"Drowning's Easier than Being Blasted."

"Depth Implosion, Not Explosive Decompression"

[SRoss]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

Being on fire isn't as painful when your drowning...

[taalismn]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

.

If You Really Enjoy Being Under Unrelenting Crushing Death-Pressure, We Have a Job for You.

[SRoss]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

Be the first one to see the underwater version of the Gura Invid.

[taalismn]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

.

Because You Love Tentacles!

[SRoss]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

Cause you don't have to ask...

[taalismn]

REJECTED SEA SQUAD RECRUITMENT LINES

All the Seaweed You Can Eat.

[taalismn]

And new friom the people who brought you the Pathfinders. the Continuing Adventures of Mauve Squadron, and Ice Guard.
Beige Squadron!

"Ah...why?"
"Because the writer is too chicken$#!+ afraid to mess up his new Robotech RPG Tactics figures by committing to a paint scheme, seeing as there will be no new figurines made. So, we're stuck in default base molded colors."
":Oh."
"Oh, sure, we're facing the fearsome Zentraedi Grey Squad, but at least those mass-produced stinkers are already used to operational anonymity."
"That, and they already ambushed us once by hiding against a grey asphalt parking lot."
"Yeah, rotters...."

[taalismn]

Robotech Tactics Bloopers:

"...and the dice just took out your own fire support section by accident..."

"Siamese IMU combat mecha?"
"Gluing assembly accident."

"This mountainside's kinda...squishy. You sure it's stable enough for us to go up and over it?"
"It's a pillow standing proxy for a mountain. It will hold for our purposes."


"Command squad accidentally got trapped under a Dixie cup. Let's see how long it takes them to fight free."

"Combat damage?"
"Accident cutting my mecha free of the sprues..."

"AUUUGGGHHH!!! FAMILY CAT ON THE TABLE!!! RUN FOR IT!!!!!"


"Let's see our new paintjobs! We're...hell, we're -mauve-. Oh bugger."

[SRoss]

Robotech Tactics Bloopers:

"...and the dice just took out your own fire support section by accident..."

"Siamese IMU combat mecha?"
"Gluing assembly accident."

"This mountainside's kinda...squishy. You sure it's stable enough for us to go up and over it?"
"It's a pillow standing proxy for a mountain. It will hold for our purposes."


"Command squad accidentally got trapped under a Dixie cup. Let's see how long it takes them to fight free."

"Combat damage?"
"Accident cutting my mecha free of the sprues..."

"AUUUGGGHHH!!! FAMILY CAT ON THE TABLE!!! RUN FOR IT!!!!!"


"Let's see our new paintjobs! We're...hell, we're -mauve-. Oh bugger."

Zentraedi: "TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE PUCE LEGION!!!"
"Last time I let my cousin's little daughter near the paint..."

[taalismn]

[
Zentraedi: "TREMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE PUCE LEGION!!!"
"Last time I let my cousin's little daughter near the paint..."

"Eww, sparkles!!!!"
"All units target the 'Twilight Squadron'."

[SRoss]

Dana: (Waking up naked in an unknown wilderness) "Whaaa?"

Rei Hino: "MISTRESS! OUR NEW BONDMAID'S ARRIVED!"

Reye Coronal Firestormer:

[taalismn]

Robotech Masters: "So...you claim to be representatives of micronian factions willing to ferret out the secrets of Earth's defenses and deliver it to us? And what do your superiors at 'Cambridge Analytica' and 'Wikikeaks' ask for this service?"

[Kargan3033]

Dana: (Waking up naked in an unknown wilderness) "Whaaa?"

Rei Hino: "MISTRESS! OUR NEW BONDMAID'S ARRIVED!"

Reye Coronal Firestormer:

I know I'm going to regret this post but I have to ask, what were you thinking when you made this post?

[taalismn]

[

I know I'm going to regret this post but I have to ask, what were you thinking when you made this post?

The Shemarrian Fan Creations thread over in Rifts where we document a Shemarrian Nation that kicked ARCHIE-3 out and established its own culture. Lots of munchkiny goodness as their tech tree advances.
Part of their culture allows for normal folk to be adopted into the Shemarrian Nation as a second/lower class/pets/little brothers/sisters, and like the Battletech Kerensky Clans, the Shemarrians may take POWs they find worthy and honorable as bonded probationers(if you're a scumball, you're either outright enslaved and put to hard labor or just executed on the spot), who act as temporary servants/apprentices. If they continue to show honor and integrity, after a period of time the EShemar let them go with a promise to not attack the Shemarrian clans(like Civil War bail) or a promise to repay the clans at some future time with a favor or service....or preferred application to become a full-fledged Shemarrian tribesmember. Favored bondsmen may receive special training or gifts when they are released, like a weapon or augmentation.
It's all very warrior-culture stuff.
As an example, in a series of vignettes, the Sailor Senshi were defeated in straightout combat by their Shemarrian lookalikes and served out a year or so of (subjective) time as bondsmaidens. Sailor Moon came back with a Glitterboy armor, Sailor Saturn with ninja training, Sailor Mars was taught a version of flame magic that apparently requires her to dance nearly naked to set up the magic, Mercury went nerd-rapture, Sailor Venus got a robotic wolfpack to follow her around, Jupiter spent time mucking out robotic animal stables, Uranus got used as a punching bag, Neptune learned how to MacGuyver, and Pluto apparently spent the whole time getting unbent. Tuxedo Mask got left home(though he did run into a Russian cyborg knight who liked throwing plasma-blossom mortar shells).

[Kargan3033]

[

I know I'm going to regret this post but I have to ask, what were you thinking when you made this post?

The Shemarrian Fan Creations thread over in Rifts where we document a Shemarrian Nation that kicked ARCHIE-3 out and established its own culture. Lots of munchkiny goodness as their tech tree advances.
Part of their culture allows for normal folk to be adopted into the Shemarrian Nation as a second/lower class/pets/little brothers/sisters, and like the Battletech Kerensky Clans, the Shemarrians may take POWs they find worthy and honorable as bonded probationers(if you're a scumball, you're either outright enslaved and put to hard labor or just executed on the spot), who act as temporary servants/apprentices. If they continue to show honor and integrity, after a period of time the EShemar let them go with a promise to not attack the Shemarrian clans(like Civil War bail) or a promise to repay the clans at some future time with a favor or service....or preferred application to become a full-fledged Shemarrian tribesmember. Favored bondsmen may receive special training or gifts when they are released, like a weapon or augmentation.
It's all very warrior-culture stuff.
As an example, in a series of vignettes, the Sailor Senshi were defeated in straightout combat by their Shemarrian lookalikes and served out a year or so of (subjective) time as bondsmaidens. Sailor Moon came back with a Glitterboy armor, Sailor Saturn with ninja training, Sailor Mars was taught a version of flame magic that apparently requires her to dance nearly naked to set up the magic, Mercury went nerd-rapture, Sailor Venus got a robotic wolfpack to follow her around, Jupiter spent time mucking out robotic animal stables, Uranus got used as a punching bag, Neptune learned how to MacGuyver, and Pluto apparently spent the whole time getting unbent. Tuxedo Mask got left home(though he did run into a Russian cyborg knight who liked throwing plasma-blossom mortar shells).

Heh!, nice real nice, have you ever considered submitting the Shemarrian Nation as a rouge faction of Archie's Shemaarians?

[taalismn]

[
Heh!, nice real nice, have you ever considered submitting the Shemarrian Nation as a rouge faction of Archie's Shemaarians?

Admittedly the macguffin that allows them to split off successfully is based on a Palladium canon monster in Aliens Unlimited, but I regard the EShemar faction as too character-shield breaking and munchkiny(especially in its later posts), plus it's rather a joint effort of several people, to be a successful Rifter entry.
I'm happy to just keep punching out new gizmos and characters(it's like whittling; as my father said to people watching him carve animals and balls-in-chains; "I'm really just making woodchips").

[Kargan3033]

[
Heh!, nice real nice, have you ever considered submitting the Shemarrian Nation as a rouge faction of Archie's Shemaarians?

Admittedly the macguffin that allows them to split off successfully is based on a Palladium canon monster in Aliens Unlimited, but I regard the EShemar faction as too character-shield breaking and munchkiny(especially in its later posts), plus it's rather a joint effort of several people, to be a successful Rifter entry.
I'm happy to just keep punching out new gizmos and characters(it's like whittling; as my father said to people watching him carve animals and balls-in-chains; "I'm really just making woodchips").

Too bad it would make for a good fan made forum release.

I wonder what would happen if Zor suddenly appeared in their lands buck naked.

[taalismn]

[

I wonder what would happen if Zor suddenly appeared in their lands buck naked.

Be treated like any other buck naked d-bee.
If he made a nuisance of himself, he'd be disciplined, if he proved a threat, he'd be killed.
If he just lay there all pathetic like and wasn't in any immediate danger to himself or others, he'd be turned over to one of the communities under the Shemarrian aegis to be taken care of.

[Kargan3033]

[

I wonder what would happen if Zor suddenly appeared in their lands buck naked.

Be treated like any other buck naked d-bee.
If he made a nuisance of himself, he'd be disciplined, if he proved a threat, he'd be killed.
If he just lay there all pathetic like and wasn't in any immediate danger to himself or others, he'd be turned over to one of the communities under the Shemarrian aegis to be taken care of.

Given that he's a psycho obsessive, manic depressive I have to wonder what kind of psyatric treatment he would get from them if they deemed him worthy of being saved.

[taalismn]

[

Given that he's a psycho obsessive, manic depressive I have to wonder what kind of psyatric treatment he would get from them if they deemed him worthy of being saved.

Psionic mindwipe and work therapy.

[Kargan3033]

[

Given that he's a psycho obsessive, manic depressive I have to wonder what kind of psyatric treatment he would get from them if they deemed him worthy of being saved.

Psionic mindwipe and work therapy.

Only if his level of bug s**t lunacy didn't mind warp the psyker in question.

It would be interesting to see what would happen of a small mixed tribe of the Gals ended up on a Zent Flagship or a Robotech Master's Mothership.

[taalismn]

[

Given that he's a psycho obsessive, manic depressive I have to wonder what kind of psyatric treatment he would get from them if they deemed him worthy of being saved.

Psionic mindwipe and work therapy.

Only if his level of bug s**t lunacy didn't mind warp the psyker in question.

It would be interesting to see what would happen of a small mixed tribe of the Gals ended up on a Zent Flagship or a Robotech Master's Mothership.

...and that encounter should take place over in the Crossover thread(hint, hint)

[Kargan3033]

[

Given that he's a psycho obsessive, manic depressive I have to wonder what kind of psyatric treatment he would get from them if they deemed him worthy of being saved.

Psionic mindwipe and work therapy.

Only if his level of bug s**t lunacy didn't mind warp the psyker in question.

It would be interesting to see what would happen of a small mixed tribe of the Gals ended up on a Zent Flagship or a Robotech Master's Mothership.

...and that encounter should take place over in the Crossover thread(hint, hint)

Good point.

[taalismn]

Lancer: "...so that's where I stand, Scott! It's unfair, asking us to put up with this!"
Scott: "Look, Lancer, I know, I KNOW! It's irritating, but we have to face the facts! Harmony Gold's only going to back future projects if there's a profitable return on them! And given the past history of Robotech project launches, they're going to do what it takes to maximize profit! That means attracting capital!"
Lancer: "But it's just so...demeaning!"
Scott: "We're just going to have to put up with the product placements."
(POV draws away to show the New Generation crowd standing plastered in various brand-name patches and logos, with their vehicles similarly covered in advertising)
"AAAAIIIEEEE!!!!!!!!"
(Rand runs by, predictably ON FIRE)
Rook: "Though what THAT'S supposed to be advertising, I don't know."
Lunk:(as Annie runs by, in Rand's wake)"Ronson lighters. Lights up all the time, every time."

[SRoss]

Ariel: "Could be worse, he could have gotten Corg's job."

Cut to... a Praxian loading up at the craft services table.

Corg: "Hi there... Do you French?"

#WRUNCH!!!#

Charon: (Looking at the mess) "Ewwww."

[taalismn]

"So what really was being advertised there? Artificial joint implants? Plastic surgery? At-home convalescent services? Lift chairs?"

[SRoss]

"Good news Dana! You've been assigned to a new Armored Calvary unit!"

[taalismn]

"Good news Dana! You've been assigned to a new Armored Calvary unit!"

"Louie...upgrade it."
"WHA--?! I'm a software GEEK, not a bio-engineer!"

[Arnie100]

Sean: "I get my unit back!"
Dante: "No, you don't."

[SRoss]

Sean: "I get my unit back!"
Dante: "No, you don't."

Gnea: "This reminds me of the children's rides we had back home."

[SRoss]

"MISS MINMEI! DON'T TOUCH THE MAC II CONTR..."

#STOMP#

"Ohmygod!!! You stepped on Tommy!!!"

[thorr-kan]

"MISS MINMEI! DON'T TOUCH THE MAC II CONTR..."

#STOMP#

"Ohmygod!!! You stepped on Tommy!!!"

Uatu, The Watcher: "I didn't see NUTHIN'."

[taalismn]

"Did you know Miss Minmei was going to do 'Ballet with Destroids' BEFORE the talent portion of the show?"
"All she said was 'I'm doing a dance number'."

[SRoss]

Lisa: "I'm back from the new comic."

Guys all collapse with explosive nose bleeds.

Lisa: "What?"

Kim: "Um, your flight suit is so form fitting it looks like they painted it on."

[taalismn]

Lisa: "I'm back from the new comic."

Guys all collapse with explosive nose bleeds.

Lisa: "What?"

Kim: "Um, your flight suit is so form fitting it looks like they painted it on."

"They did say it was airbrush art."
"....and Rick's down."

[thorr-kan]

Lisa: "I'm back from the new comic."

Guys all collapse with explosive nose bleeds.

Lisa: "What?"

Kim: "Um, your flight suit is so form fitting it looks like they painted it on."

"They did say it was airbrush art."
"....and Rick's down."

Rick walks over and kick the body on the floor. "Stupid weak stunt doubles.

"What? We've been married since the *80s;* a man learns appreciation for his wife in that time."

"Happy anniversary, Admiral!" crows Lisa.

"Thank YOU, Admiral!" smirks Rick.

From offstage, the voice of General Edwards hollers, "Get a room, you two! Geez, you'd think those two were newlyweds...

"FOKKER! Follow me to the O. Club; I need to kill some brain cells before the image sets in..."

[SRoss]

Lisa: "I'm back from the new comic."

Guys all collapse with explosive nose bleeds.

Lisa: "What?"

Kim: "Um, your flight suit is so form fitting it looks like they painted it on."

"They did say it was airbrush art."
"....and Rick's down."

Rick walks over and kick the body on the floor. "Stupid weak stunt doubles."

"What? We've been married since the *80s;* a man learns appreciation for his wife in that time."

"Happy anniversary, Admiral!" crows Lisa.

"Thank YOU, Admiral!" smirks Rick.

From offstage, the voice of General Edwards hollers, "Get a room, you two! Geez, you'd think those two were newlyweds..."

"FOKKER! Follow me to the O. Club; I need to kill some brain cells before the image sets in..."

"You think that was bad? You should see Ben's diaper!"

[taalismn]

Rick: "Our kid, not you, Ben."
Ben Dixon: "For a moment there I was worried I might have been at a coma at some point and you were referring to that."
Max: "Well, you WERE in the hospital for that extended stay, but as I recall, they entubated you, not diapered you."
Ben: "That felt more like a municipal sewer replacement than a medical procedure....MI think I'll go join Edwards and Fokker in seeking alcoholic amnesia."

Edwards: "So...ever been rear-doored wit' a deep well drill?"
Fokker: "That was Lisa's #37,468, wasn't it?"
Edwards: "I'd almost say I was proud of her grudge-list, if she wasn't applying them to -me-."

[thorr-kan]

Rick: "Our kid, not you, Ben."
Ben Dixon: "For a moment there I was worried I might have been at a coma at some point and you were referring to that."
Max: "Well, you WERE in the hospital for that extended stay, but as I recall, they entubated you, not diapered you."
Ben: "That felt more like a municipal sewer replacement than a medical procedure....MI think I'll go join Edwards and Fokker in seeking alcoholic amnesia."

Edwards: "So...ever been rear-doored wit' a deep well drill?"
Fokker: "That was Lisa's #37,468, wasn't it?"
Edwards: "I'd almost say I was proud of her grudge-list, if she wasn't applying them to -me-."

Fokker: "Thank God for stunt doubles!"
Edwards: "Thank God for stunt doubles!"
<clink beers together>
Edwards: "I get that the majority of me are jack@**es, but those are the stunt doubles! Still...mistaking the actor for the character kinda hurts."
Fokker: "Catch some overflow?"
Edwards: "Oh, yeah. And to be fair, I've earned some karmic payback. But the stunt doubles earned most of it. But I'll take my lumps; they're fair."
Fokker: "Hungry?"
Edwards: "Yeah. I hear today's special is...pineapple salad."
Fokker: "NOT FUNNY, EDWARDS."
Edwards: "Too soon?"
Fokker: "TOO SOON."
Edwards: "I'll get the next round, then."
Fokker: "Apology accepted! MOAR BEER!"

[taalismn]

Of course, after the hangover and discovering what the bar tab is, Edwards discovers a new reason to kill Fokker...

[thorr-kan]

Of course, after the hangover and discovering what the bar tab is, Edwards discovers a new reason to kill Fokker...

Nah, he only stood that round.

Besides, these guys are fighter pilots. They don't get hangovers; pure O2 is your friend. Or a tab; they might not live to pay it...

[taalismn]

Of course, after the hangover and discovering what the bar tab is, Edwards discovers a new reason to kill Fokker...

Nah, he only stood that round.

Besides, these guys are fighter pilots. They don't get hangovers; pure O2 is your friend. Or a tab; they might not live to pay it...

Are we confusing fighter pilots or actors here?
Because if they're actors playing fighter pilots, they might not get that discount from the real thing.
If they're pilots being actors, they might, but then 'Harrison Ford Syndrome' might cut in.

"Sorry, Tower...ah, didn't mean to land on the wing of that transcontinental flight-"
<<"FOKKER!!!!">>

Edwards: (sitting in fighter cockpit) "Ah...I don't drive manual. I drive an automatic."
Flight Instructor: "Mister Edwards, it's a JET, not a car!...I'm supposed to make this mook look like an ace?! I give up! Marine Aviation saves the miracles for the REAL recruits!"
Director: "...looks like you won't be flying your own stunts, Edwards. We'll just focus on your later career as an administrator."
Edwards: "Ah, nuts..."

[SRoss]

"Why's Kyle going into the Producer's trailer with a baseball bat?"

"He just found out what the guy made Minmei do for the part..."

"I'll get the splatter protection, you microwave the popcorn..."

[taalismn]

"Why's Kyle going into the Producer's trailer with a baseball bat?"

"He just found out what the guy made Minmei do for the part..."

"I'll get the splatter protection, you microwave the popcorn..."

"We're going to insist on you actually singing your own lines. Lip-synching and CGI cover only so much from the diehard purists."
Minmei:(Bass voice) "You're kidding me, right?"

[thorr-kan]

"Why's Kyle going into the Producer's trailer with a baseball bat?"

"He just found out what the guy made Minmei do for the part..."

"I'll get the splatter protection, you microwave the popcorn..."

"We're going to insist on you actually singing your own lines. Lip-synching and CGI cover only so much from the diehard purists."
Minmei:(Bass voice) "You're kidding me, right?"

I'd...actually find that amusing.

But then, I think this scene from Space Balls is the funniest thing in the movie:
Druish Princess, singing: "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen/nobody knows the sorrows."
Lone Star: "She's a *bass!* Who knew?"