Things you hate to hear as a GM

BookWyrm · Unread post by **BookWyrm** » Sat Dec 22, 2007 11:53 am

"When do we get to the hot chicks?"

"Where's the bathroom?"

"THAT'S it?! That's what this was all about?!"

drewkitty ~..~ · Mon Dec 24, 2007 2:26 pm

Shadowmagic wrote:"Can this RCC take this OCC?"

A valid question but, it usually reeks of munchy.

Its only a valid question if spoken by a newbe, sence they don't know that RCC's can't be anything but their RCC. If it's spoken by a experienced player, then call that player "munchkin".

Damian Magecraft · Mon Dec 24, 2007 7:55 pm

(this one actually happened :shock:

) Player to GM: I parry the Dragons stomp with my dagger.

Eryk Stormbright · Tue Dec 25, 2007 5:43 pm

Daunlander wrote:I like it!
I keep all character sheets in between sessions now, unless the player proves responsible enough.

that's the way i do it.. even IF the person is responsible i keep the sheets. just makes things Alot easier for future games.

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:16 am

Player: "Which version of the rule are you using?"
Me: "The one I passed out along with all of the other rules clarifications I printed out for everyone at the start of the game."
Player: "I lost it..."

Xar · Unread post by **Xar** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 12:31 am

Any Dr. Demento "Dungeons and Dragons" quotes.

again

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Wed Dec 26, 2007 2:16 pm

TweekieD wrote:"I got it wrote down somewhere I swear!"

Eeeeya.
I hate that one too.

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Fri Dec 28, 2007 5:54 pm

TweekieD wrote:can i dodge a volley of missles?

Sure, if it numbers 2 or 3.

Daikuma · Unread post by **Daikuma** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:32 am

Shadowmagic wrote:Player: "So, if I use Super-Telekinesis on him, he gets a save?"

Me: "Yep, I guess, standard Psi save for a non-psi opponent."

Player: "What if I pick him up by his gear or armor?" *afterthought* "Hell, I got enough ISP, I'll rip the whole floor up with him on it." *laughs wickedly*

Me: "..." *slides NPC back into folder*

At this point I usually bring in my "Psionicist Brain Starts to Hemorrage" Rules.

People seem to forget that even if the floor weighs only so much, ripping it loose would apply to the Shearing strength or "Tare weight" of the materials involved, which are often several hundred times of pressure weight over and above the weight of the materials themselves...

Lift a piece of 1" tongue and groove board, not a problem, maybe weights 1-2 lbs. Lift a panel of said boards, maybe 20-30 lbs for and 8'x8' section. Tear out a section of it from it's moorings, well, there are tornadoes that couldn't accomplish that!

Blood starts erupting from the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth of the psionicist, he craps himself, and learns that he better be damn sure the consequences of what he wants to do before he does it, because as we said in 3rd grade:

NO DO-OVERS!

Daikuma · Unread post by **Daikuma** » Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:34 am

Shadowmagic wrote:Player: "Do you want to go in on a pizza?"

Me: "You know I do!"

Stomach: "Yeah, do it up! I reaally need some pizza to force down the Triple Burger from BK and those Funions need some more soda to soak up."

RPG induced junk food binging, gotta love that!!!

God I miss that. I became the lo-carb gamer. Everyone else is tearing into doritos and pizza, and I have a ziploc bag full of bacon.

<sniff>

bigbobsr6000 · Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:33 pm

PC (Elf): "My dog ate my character sheet. I do not have a copy."

GM to gamers: "As you start to break camp, the ground begins to shake increasing in strength. Trees in the distance begin to part and fall. A giant black dog breaks into the clearing. He snaps up the Elf, gobbling him down as he bounds away disappearing from view. The ground decreases its vibrations. The sudden noise is soon replaced with the morning sounds of the forest."

Shock and laughter ensues. A new character is made and all provide me with copies of their character sheets.

Thus endth the lesson. I was the GM

Greyaxe · Unread post by **Greyaxe** » Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:49 pm

Describes scene in great detail...

Ok guys what are you going to do.......

<silence>

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:52 pm

Evil Psychologist wrote:Certain people are too creative for their own good. I know a guy who could scarcely run as a player in a campaign for 30 minutes straight because he would get a new character idea. That probably frustrated me more than anything, because I had to constantly design new campaigns. He eventually settled for a playing a sentient possessing entity who could change bodies and impersonate personality as he pleased.

So yeah, "hey I've got an idea for a better character!" is my all time hated sentence.

Had one like that in my present campaign..except in her case her attitude was; "Oh my character sucks cuz I can't (fill in blanks), can I use another PC or modify this one beyond what you already allow?"

devillin · Unread post by **devillin** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:30 am

Mine is probably only unique to a high power Robotech military campaign. The group started out with 12 low power 1-5 KT nuclear artillery shells. For early REF campaigns, they would be perfect for taking out a hive shield or killing a large percentage of a hive, while it is on a planet. In space, they are pretty worthless since their area of effect is measured in 1/2 mile distances.

I very quickly got tired of hearing "Boo YEAH!! Hit that group of Invid Scouts with A NUKE!!!"

Only to have to explain, once again, that the 1KT shells do very little damage to MDC structures in the middle of deep space. :nh:

Even worse was the arguement that erupted when they finally used one in the middle of a ground battle, underground, and got the desired effect. The nuke went off, it caused damage to everyone in the tunnels (250MDC, doubled to 500MDC due to the enclosed space), and collapsed all of the tunnels for 2 miles in every direction. Their complaint? The victims of the attack survived, mostly because they 1) had 300 MDC forcefields, 2) individually had more than 300 MDC in their armor, and 3) were MDC creatures and had at least 120 MDC in their body. Once again, I had to explain to them that just because they used "A NUKE!!!", it does not mean their opponent instantly disappears. :nh:

God I will be so happy when they finally waste the last 4 nukes on something incredibly inane. The killer thing is, I don't have this problem with the anti-matter cruise missiles or the Reflex missiles. They'll do thousands of points of damage with a cruise missile barrage and I'll barely hear a peep, but hit someone with one of those shells, and once again it's "I hit him with A NUKE!!!". :nh:

The Beast · Unread post by **The Beast** » Thu Jan 24, 2008 4:21 pm

Shadowmagic wrote:"Wait, I got another +1 to parry(or whatever)." Declared AFTER it is presumed that the enemy has indeed made a successful whatever VS the player's whatever.

Ya know what? It's been my xp that even seasoned players will do that sometimes. It only becomes annoying when the player insists on it after damage was rolled and we've moved onto the next combatant's turn.

bigbobsr6000 · Sat Jan 26, 2008 10:29 am

Player at first session for new campaign: "Here's my new character, I decided I didn't like the one we rolled up and got background on last week. So, I went ahead a rolled this one." Hands to GM: A Titan-Mega Juicer with the lowest stat of 28 to highest stat of PS 65 with super armor, weapons out the @$$ and natural MDC of 560! All at 1st level!! And no background. This is a change from a human SDC/HP Merc. Commando. we did last week.

Kagashi · Unread post by **Kagashi** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:15 pm

These are all quotes from various times of my time GMing both Play by Post and table top:

1) "I know you specifically said no Naruni equipment for this campaign, but I was thinking that I would REALLY like a Naruni super heavy force field..."

2) "Hey, I know this list of Character Classes says 'limited to adventurers', but can I play this magic character class?"

3) "I know the rest of the group are all Coalition Human Supremisists, but i want to play my Burster Scarecrow?" (I thought he was joking, but he was serious...)

4) "Whats the difference between a strike roll and a damage roll again?"

5) "What does '4D6' mean?"

6) In Play by Post, the player suddenly stopped posting. With no indication that she was returning. I deleted her account. She came back 6 months later. "What happened to my account?"

7) This one pissed me off the most:

I had the group going up against a robot. The bot was modified by an operator, so it was souped up in MDC value. Plus, unknown to the players, it had Impervious to Energy cast on it, so I just let them keep rolling damage values with all their laser weapons. There was no way they could have known he was being protected from their attacks.

Player pulls out source book X, "...See, right here, these units should only have 500 MDC, I KNOW ive done more than that..."

I ignored him, then he accused me of changing things becasue I didnt want that robot to die. I finally explained to him after disrupting the game for all the other players (who didnt have a problem at all) what had happened and showed him my PRINTED copy of the encounter (proving I didnt modify anything after the encouter started). I explained to him that the bot was souped up. He said it was unfair. I pointed out that his character had said modifications...by the book...done to his armor and weapons as well. Why do NPCs have to be straight by the book? He gave me the finger and walked out. Never played with him again.

The Beast · Unread post by **The Beast** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:21 pm

Kagashi wrote:7) This one pissed me off the most:

I had the group going up against a robot. The bot was modified by an operator, so it was souped up in MDC value. Plus, unknown to the players, it had Impervious to Energy cast on it, so I just let them keep rolling damage values with all their laser weapons. There was no way they could have known he was being protected from their attacks.

Player pulls out source book X, "...See, right here, these units should only have 500 MDC, I KNOW ive done more than that..."

I ignored him, then he accused me of changing things becasue I didnt want that robot to die. I finally explained to him after disrupting the game for all the other players (who didnt have a problem at all) what had happened and showed him my PRINTED copy of the encounter (proving I didnt modify anything after the encouter started). I explained to him that the bot was souped up. He said it was unfair. I pointed out that his character had said modifications...by the book...done to his armor and weapons as well. Why do NPCs have to be straight by the book? He gave me the finger and walked out. Never played with him again.

What a douche.

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:17 pm

"We just set your car on FIRE!!!"

sasha · Unread post by **sasha** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 7:21 pm

Though I don't think you have to be a GM to hate to hear that :lol:

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:18 pm

"That's not in the book..."

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:18 pm

"THAT's not in the book."

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:22 pm

and finally "That IS NOT in the book!"

Do we sense a theme here?

GM's have carte blanche to do what ever the (censored for public good) they feel is appropriate to maintain the story, within reason regardless of being 'canon' or not.

REAPEAT, oh my brothers and sisters, the mantra of gaming!

"The final call on any rulling, source material, or modifications is, and always will be the province of the GM. Period."

shiiv-a · Unread post by **shiiv-a** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:32 pm

bravo ... finally someone who knows 'to be used as a guideline only' and what it REALLY means ...

bigbobsr6000 · Unread post by **bigbobsr6000** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 8:56 pm

But don't I at least get a roll?

Why is it attacking me?

I did like 150 points of damage, plus the other damage it took, how is it still attacking?

I don't care if my character dies, I can just roll up another one.

Oops as a soda is knocked over and spilled on your books.

Just a few more to add to the mayhem

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:01 pm

bigbobsr6000 wrote:But don't I at least get a roll?

Why is it attacking me?

I did like 150 points of damage, plus the other damage it took, how is it still attacking?

I don't care if my character dies, I can just roll up another one.

Oops as a soda is knocked over and spilled on your books.

Just a few more to add to the mayhem

Yeah..been subjected to those too...

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 9:31 pm

DhAkael wrote:"THAT's not in the book."

As a GM, I do understand where such players are coming from, however.
GMs aren't always right.

The Beast · Unread post by **The Beast** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 10:18 pm

bigbobsr6000 wrote:But don't I at least get a roll?

Without anymore information, I find that a valid question.

bigbobsr6000 · Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:11 pm

The Beast wrote:
bigbobsr6000 wrote:But don't I at least get a roll?

Without anymore information, I find that a valid question.

Situation for further plot development unbeknownst to the PC where dice roll is irrelavant.

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:57 pm

Vrykolas2k wrote:
DhAkael wrote:"THAT's not in the book."

As a GM, I do understand where such players are coming from, however.
GMs aren't always right.

You are missing the point.
It's not about rules..it's about getting the story moving and having the game run.
The GM is always right.
Always.
In any case where the text of the book does not conincide with a GM's ruling, the book is wrong.
Adendum to above; but only if the GM remains consistant.

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 11:58 pm

Evil Psychologist wrote:

If I say the sky is polka-dot yellow with orange and blue zebra stripes in my game, you better believe it is.

Thank you..another person who actualy can "think".
Bless you sir.

bigbobsr6000 · Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:04 am

Oh, just great! Now I have to "think" too? Where's that in the rules?

DhAkael · Unread post by **DhAkael** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:09 am

bigbobsr6000 wrote:Oh, just great! Now I have to "think" too? Where's that in the rules?

Yep...sux doesn't it

?
Don't worry though. It only hurts for the first few minutes :ok:

Kagashi · Unread post by **Kagashi** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:17 am

DhAkael wrote:
bigbobsr6000 wrote:But don't I at least get a roll?

Why is it attacking me?

I did like 150 points of damage, plus the other damage it took, how is it still attacking?

I don't care if my character dies, I can just roll up another one.

Oops as a soda is knocked over and spilled on your books.

Just a few more to add to the mayhem

Yeah..been subjected to those too...

Ditto. I have a few broken-spined, cover-ripped, coffee-colored books myself.

Kagashi · Unread post by **Kagashi** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:18 am

Ohhhh

forgot about this pet peev...

"Can I borrow your dice? I dont have any."

Iczer · Unread post by **Iczer** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:35 am

heh...our gaming club gives a set of dice with membership (it's part of the fee)

Batts

bigbobsr6000 · Tue Feb 12, 2008 12:41 am

After devouring a large bag of cheetoes, reaching with orange-greased hands. "Let me see book(s) blah, blah." :eek:

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Tue Feb 12, 2008 1:28 am

DhAkael wrote:
Vrykolas2k wrote:
DhAkael wrote:"THAT's not in the book."

As a GM, I do understand where such players are coming from, however.
GMs aren't always right.

You are missing the point.
It's not about rules..it's about getting the story moving and having the game run.
The GM is always right.
Always.
In any case where the text of the book does not conincide with a GM's ruling, the book is wrong.
Adendum to above; but only if the GM remains consistant.

Problem is, many times the GMs who always do their own thing aren't consistent at all.
Which leads to players complaining. Which often leads to shattered GM egos when they find they're lacking players.
Not for nothing, but I do issue out all rules clarifications and house-rules to the players so I know we're all on the same sheet of music. I go by the books whenever possible.
It's not due to lack of thinking ability for those who might say otherwise (I'm writing my own game), but rather because players have a right to expect certain things.
Whether you agree or not, they do. I know when I go into a game, I expect things to be canon unless I've been handed hard-copy to explain where things are different. I give my players the same consideration.

Gallahan · Unread post by **Gallahan** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 12:31 am

Player who is really (REALLY) an exotic dancer in real (REAL) life (something to the effect of...):

"Hey, guys, if you all take out this monster, I'll give you a brief demonstration of a few 'moves' my player character is capable of, which puts into play her PHYSICAL PROWESS and PHYSICAL BEAUTY."

Needless to say (you can look this up on an OLD thread) the stupid idiots (and aren't all of us guys stupid idiots when it comes to an insanely beautiful and FIT young lady playing BEYOND THE SUPERNATURAL!!??) were wrapped around her finger? I could hear STING singing "The Apprentice" the entire time. She had the party eating out of her hand, quickly became the most powerful character and also provided a lot of great entertainment.

In the end, was it worth it? Only time will tell...

Gallahan · Unread post by **Gallahan** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 1:00 am

Oh, things I hate to hear my player(s) say?

This, coming from the vixen who has the entire party ENTHRALLED by her real world CHARM...

"Uh, guys, --ouch!-- --my thong, hahhhhhh-- would you mind watching out for me? I'll make it worth your while, and ummmmmmm... <insert subtle lip-licking here> uhhhhmmmm.... could you... WOULD you... make sure, um, I don't get hurt while we face off this vamp?"

Man, it's terrible. These guys give her character everything they find. It's sad to see them succumbing to her charms, but funny. Still, I can't fault her because she's become quite the masterful game kitten. And we love having her around, even though she takes full advantage of their lingering fantasies.

The Beast · Unread post by **The Beast** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 9:52 am

Gallahan wrote:Oh, things I hate to hear my player(s) say?

This, coming from the vixen who has the entire party ENTHRALLED by her real world CHARM...

"Uh, guys, --ouch!-- --my thong, hahhhhhh-- would you mind watching out for me? I'll make it worth your while, and ummmmmmm... <insert subtle lip-licking here> uhhhhmmmm.... could you... WOULD you... make sure, um, I don't get hurt while we face off this vamp?"

Man, it's terrible. These guys give her character everything they find. It's sad to see them succumbing to her charms, but funny. Still, I can't fault her because she's become quite the masterful game kitten. And we love having her around, even though she takes full advantage of their lingering fantasies.

She should be playing a disguised demon who'll eventually eat them. And I don't mean in the "Allllll riiiiight. Gigity, gigity" kind of way.

LostOne · Unread post by **LostOne** » Wed Feb 13, 2008 5:25 pm

Anything that comes out of a rules lawyer mouth. I just reply "how do you know I didn't change it for a reason?" If they're rules lawyering on enemy stats I'll ask "and how would your character know anything about that? I changed it so you couldn't metagame."

"I forgot/lost my character sheet, but I think I remember everything." Yeah, right. You're not playing until you recreate him from scratch, and I'll look it over and if anything doesn't look right, I'm lowering it or crossing it off completely. For a player that tries this often (or legitimately loses their sheet), I collect their sheets at the end of the night and put them with my gaming notes.

"I don't like this game system, _____ is so much better." That's nice, you can always go home and we'll call you in a few months/years when we go back to that system.

*player rolls the third low combat roll in a row on a new character* "Man this character sucks, knew I should've played ______ instead." No, your dice/luck sucks.

"I just bought <new world/source/dimension book> and it has this really cool new RCC/OCC/PCC in it. Can I switch characters?" I have a player that wants to switch characters everytime he gets a new book. He probably gets a new (to him) book every couple weeks.

"How much do fusion blocks weigh?" usually within a few seconds of "How much can I carry?"

"I forgot to write that down on my character sheet a few weeks ago...how much ______ did we get?" Sorry, no one knows, guess you didn't get any.

Player lays out their actions, GM begins to act on them and player realizes they'll end badly for the player. "No wait, I didn't mean that."

Shadowmagic wrote:"I know this character is a little out of theme but, its my fav and all I got with me..."

It is, of course, an uber-munchy, hi-lvl, house ruled leftover from a different GM.

I'd look at the character, look at the player and say, "No. This game is only taking new characters, go roll something up." If the player is a problem player I'd add "and make sure I watch the rolls."

I don't mind players I've played with a long time that are good roleplayers rolling characters up at home, because they might get one or two good attributes, but not more than that. Plus they'll roleplay. But usually to be fair I'll require everyone to roll in front of me so that no one can claim I was playing favorites.

Jerell · Unread post by **Jerell** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:25 am

"Hoody-hoo! Natural Tweenty!" - :shock:

That means someone's about to rain on my parade.

bigbobsr6000 · Unread post by **bigbobsr6000** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 7:22 am

Jerell wrote:"Hoody-hoo! Natural Tweenty!" - That means someone's about to rain on my parade.

Yup! Many a'NPC Villian has fallen to such a roll, before they even had a chance to reek havoc. :-(

LostOne · Unread post by **LostOne** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 9:55 am

Jerell wrote:"Hoody-hoo! Natural Tweenty!" - That means someone's about to rain on my parade.

My players never manage to roll a natural twenty against a main badguy unless they're facing an illusion or there will be a big reveal that he wasn't really the boss badguy, there's someone they'll fight later that's bigger and badder.

Actually natural 20s have been pretty rare in this group lately...for the players... :demon:

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 1:47 pm

LostOne wrote:
Jerell wrote:"Hoody-hoo! Natural Tweenty!" - That means someone's about to rain on my parade.

My players never manage to roll a natural twenty against a main badguy unless they're facing an illusion or there will be a big reveal that he wasn't really the boss badguy, there's someone they'll fight later that's bigger and badder.

Actually natural 20s have been pretty rare in this group lately...for the players...

I can see doing this every once in a great while.
I've been in too many groups that walked off if it was a constant thing.

Vrykolas2k · Unread post by **Vrykolas2k** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:13 pm

"Can we make our characters off of "Drawn Together"?

LostOne · Unread post by **LostOne** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:17 pm

Vrykolas2k wrote:I can see doing this every once in a great while.
I've been in too many groups that walked off if it was a constant thing.

I don't hide my rolls. They take it in stride and usually come up with clever ways to end combat in their favor without attack rolls. Such as collapsing a building on their enemy, large-area effect weapons, etc.

The Beast · Unread post by **The Beast** » Thu Feb 28, 2008 9:42 pm

mAd eAgle wrote:Why does it have to end there?

But why does it have to end there? I mean, come on....

BookWyrm · Unread post by **BookWyrm** » Sat Mar 01, 2008 12:26 pm

"I forgot my (books/dice/paper/pencils/ect.), can I borrow yours?"

"So, this is like that Dee-and-Dee movie, right? But with (giant robots/guns/ect.)?"

"When do we get to the sex?"

"THAT'S all it is?"

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Things you hate to hear as a GM

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