Network Omni News

[Aramanthus]

Very cool update you both!

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/14007/1323636

Spandex Vigilantes Harass Warlock Marines
----Jespa Gate, United Worlds of Warlock, Tenzo Sector, Anvil Galaxy
An incident of demonic incursion at the newly openned Jespa Dimensional Gate exploded today into violence as UWW Warlock Marines on station responded to the threat, and discovered their efforts hampered by the unexpected arrival of others...
(videofeed of a Star Elf in uniform/robes, a hieroglyph tag on one breast reading(translated) DIMENSIONAL WORMHOLE AUTHORITY, JODAN D'LESSA, SUPERINTENDANT):
"We were just receiving a shipload of goods from out-dimension when our wards detected a lateral wormhole event, and then six Class-Five demonic entities popped in on the transfer deck and began mauling the goods before turning their attention to the bystanders. Fortunately, our shielding wards held, but Class-Fives are big, dumb, and powerful, and we had six of them, which was beyond our normal automatic 'contain-and-pitch' protocols, so we had the Marines coming in to take them out."

(videocut to the massive horned/antlered helm of a Warlock Marine; the byline in the bottom of the screen reads: SRGT 1ST CLASS ATTILA MENUEN, UWW WARLOCK MARINES):
"Yah, five of us were on the scene and setting up our fire-fountains for spray-fire of the baddies when it happened....eight more unknowns popped up...no big deal if they were demons, sicne we'd just area of effect the whole battlearea with overkill, but sensors registered the incomings as magic-using mundanes, so we figured they were late incoming foot traffic...which meant our jobs just got alot harder with good guys cluttering the scene...we almost breathed a sigh of relief when they materialized to one side, and figured they'd know enough to get out of the line of fire soon as possible...
---only they didn't! We got a mixed group of male and female humans, all in these weird costumes, and they moved to engage the demons! These nuts weren't particularly powerful, had the most ludicrous outfits you ever saw---I don't know who was worse, the males or the females---they had no idea of tactics, and they began going through the most ridciulous contortions and posturing I've ever seen, while firing off these pee-shotter attacks...either these idiots didn't know about Class-Fives or they WANTED to get hit!
Worse yet, they kept getting in our way! WE're telling them to get the heck down and out of our killzone, and they'd just go through another speech-and-dancend fire off some stupid attack like 'sparkly misty loving lightning bolt' or 'megalicious kissblade' like screaming at the demons had any effect! These posers were having ZIT effect, aside from just angering the Class-Fives even more!
What should have taken three minutes tops for my squad took fifteen because we had to maneuver around these jerks, the time it took the Class Fives to bust containment and make a break for the rest of the station. By the time we FINALLY got to bear down on the demons, the entire receiving area had been trashed, and these guys were strutting and preening about how 'they'd saved the day'! Then, before we could tell the technicolor-spandex squad what we thought of their little performance and get their names, they wormholed back out! Clear case of amateurs screwing up it for the professionals!"

Other Marines involved in the incident had these words to say:

(Videofeed of a large, muscular human woman, with black hair, in fatigues and a sleeveless tanktop, being fussed over by a medtech who's working on a complicated rig apparently holding her left arm to her shoulder. The byline on the creen bottom reads: CORPORAL REBEK GAVINAUGH, UWW WARLOCK MARINES)
"Those(*Gallutan perjorative for a bag of fetid stomach gas) looked like a (*Machine People adjective for gaudy and utterly useless material)(*Kreeghor noun for lowest-class illicit providers of phsyical pleasure) convention on (*T'zee nerve gas derivative)! They kept (*Aglian derisive term of anti-endearment) getting in my (*Telepathic Prononouncement of undying soul-felt frustration*modified by urge-to-kill anger*) way and screwing my aim with their spastic (*Wulfen gutter-term for courtship motions resulting in nonreproductive mating)! I coulda had two of those demon(*Uteni noun for incestuous business partner) dead to rights and disintered but for those (*Kittani slang for one who has conjugal relations with industrial ejection molding machinery)! And THEN they have the (*Golgan noun for malformed organs of generation) to look at me after I got winged saving their (*Flooper term for built-in seat cushion) and tell me to stay out of THEIR fight! Good thing those (*Rahuman tribal dialectic term for overripe melon-cheese) took off for whatever (* Zyganian slang term for neon-lit cesspool) before I (*Senzeti verb for removal of diseased body parts with a dull agricultural tool and no anesthetic) them! I wanna find out where they come from, once I get full use of my arm again, so's I can muck with THEIR fights and see how THEY like it when we balefire THEIR neighborhood!"

(Videofeed of a Losian DemoCat in Warlock blacks, one horn burnt off, and a bandage covering two of his five eyes. Bottom byline reads: STATION ATTENDANT ZIMS)
"Those fools were tossing fire around like they were tossing blim-fruit at a harvest fest---no regard for the safety of others...and I'm pretty sure that whatever a 'zord' is, they don't know how to use it properly, because they tagged me good...no apologies, either...If it wasn't for the fact they clearly knew zicitx about proper tactics...and even -I- know the basics about THOSE, I'd swear they were deliberately aiming for me! If it wasn't for the Marines laying down cover fire and finally ending the situation, I might gotten termed!"
Jespa Station authorities are currently pouring over the sensor logs and monitor records of the incident to determine what went wrong and where the vigilantes arrived from. When asked whether or not they intend any sort of follow up action, the senior Warlock Marine Commandant for the region only replied "Nothing beyond detaining those people if they ever show up in our territories again, and beat-, getting some answers out of them."

[Aramanthus]

LOL Pretty cool!

[taalismn]

LOL Pretty cool!

Face it, the average teenybooper Mighty Morhin' Rangers/Sailor Moon/Magic Girl group is MEAT set out in front of the average hard-bitten Rifts/Phaseworld paramilitary team...

"Amazing Blazing Sword of..!!"
"Grenade"
WHOOOMPHH!!!
"Aren't you the least bit interested in what that punk's sword was of?"
"Nope."

"Magic cute and cuddley talking animal-friend? Nah, I just keep a Hellhound for a pet."

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO!!!!

[Alpha 11]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/14007/1323636

Spandex Vigilantes Harass Warlock Marines
----Jespa Gate, United Worlds of Warlock, Tenzo Sector, Anvil Galaxy
An incident of demonic incursion at the newly openned Jespa Dimensional Gate exploded today into violence as UWW Warlock Marines on station responded to the threat, and discovered their efforts hampered by the unexpected arrival of others...
(videofeed of a Star Elf in uniform/robes, a hieroglyph tag on one breast reading(translated) DIMENSIONAL WORMHOLE AUTHORITY, JODAN D'LESSA, SUPERINTENDANT):
"We were just receiving a shipload of goods from out-dimension when our wards detected a lateral wormhole event, and then six Class-Five demonic entities popped in on the transfer deck and began mauling the goods before turning their attention to the bystanders. Fortunately, our shielding wards held, but Class-Fives are big, dumb, and powerful, and we had six of them, which was beyond our normal automatic 'contain-and-pitch' protocols, so we had the Marines coming in to take them out."

(videocut to the massive horned/antlered helm of a Warlock Marine; the byline in the bottom of the screen reads: SRGT 1ST CLASS ATTILA MENUEN, UWW WARLOCK MARINES):
"Yah, five of us were on the scene and setting up our fire-fountains for spray-fire of the baddies when it happened....eight more unknowns popped up...no big deal if they were demons, sicne we'd just area of effect the whole battlearea with overkill, but sensors registered the incomings as magic-using mundanes, so we figured they were late incoming foot traffic...which meant our jobs just got alot harder with good guys cluttering the scene...we almost breathed a sigh of relief when they materialized to one side, and figured they'd know enough to get out of the line of fire soon as possible...
---only they didn't! We got a mixed group of male and female humans, all in these weird costumes, and they moved to engage the demons! These nuts weren't particularly powerful, had the most ludicrous outfits you ever saw---I don't know who was worse, the males or the females---they had no idea of tactics, and they began going through the most ridciulous contortions and posturing I've ever seen, while firing off these pee-shotter attacks...either these idiots didn't know about Class-Fives or they WANTED to get hit!
Worse yet, they kept getting in our way! WE're telling them to get the heck down and out of our killzone, and they'd just go through another speech-and-dancend fire off some stupid attack like 'sparkly misty loving lightning bolt' or 'megalicious kissblade' like screaming at the demons had any effect! These posers were having ZIT effect, aside from just angering the Class-Fives even more!
What should have taken three minutes tops for my squad took fifteen because we had to maneuver around these jerks, the time it took the Class Fives to bust containment and make a break for the rest of the station. By the time we FINALLY got to bear down on the demons, the entire receiving area had been trashed, and these guys were strutting and preening about how 'they'd saved the day'! Then, before we could tell the technicolor-spandex squad what we thought of their little performance and get their names, they wormholed back out! Clear case of amateurs screwing up it for the professionals!"

Other Marines involved in the incident had these words to say:

(Videofeed of a large, muscular human woman, with black hair, in fatigues and a sleeveless tanktop, being fussed over by a medtech who's working on a complicated rig apparently holding her left arm to her shoulder. The byline on the creen bottom reads: CORPORAL REBEK GAVINAUGH, UWW WARLOCK MARINES)
"Those(*Gallutan perjorative for a bag of fetid stomach gas) looked like a (*Machine People adjective for gaudy and utterly useless material)(*Kreeghor noun for lowest-class illicit providers of phsyical pleasure) convention on (*T'zee nerve gas derivative)! They kept (*Aglian derisive term of anti-endearment) getting in my (*Telepathic Prononouncement of undying soul-felt frustration*modified by urge-to-kill anger*) way and screwing my aim with their spastic (*Wulfen gutter-term for courtship motions resulting in nonreproductive mating)! I coulda had two of those demon(*Uteni noun for incestuous business partner) dead to rights and disintered but for those (*Kittani slang for one who has conjugal relations with industrial ejection molding machinery)! And THEN they have the (*Golgan noun for malformed organs of generation) to look at me after I got winged saving their (*Flooper term for built-in seat cushion) and tell me to stay out of THEIR fight! Good thing those (*Rahuman tribal dialectic term for overripe melon-cheese) took off for whatever (* Zyganian slang term for neon-lit cesspool) before I (*Senzeti verb for removal of diseased body parts with a dull agricultural tool and no anesthetic) them! I wanna find out where they come from, once I get full use of my arm again, so's I can muck with THEIR fights and see how THEY like it when we balefire THEIR neighborhood!"

(Videofeed of a Losian DemoCat in Warlock blacks, one horn burnt off, and a bandage covering two of his five eyes. Bottom byline reads: STATION ATTENDANT ZIMS)
"Those fools were tossing fire around like they were tossing blim-fruit at a harvest fest---no regard for the safety of others...and I'm pretty sure that whatever a 'zord' is, they don't know how to use it properly, because they tagged me good...no apologies, either...If it wasn't for the fact they clearly knew zicitx about proper tactics...and even -I- know the basics about THOSE, I'd swear they were deliberately aiming for me! If it wasn't for the Marines laying down cover fire and finally ending the situation, I might gotten termed!"
Jespa Station authorities are currently pouring over the sensor logs and monitor records of the incident to determine what went wrong and where the vigilantes arrived from. When asked whether or not they intend any sort of follow up action, the senior Warlock Marine Commandant for the region only replied "Nothing beyond detaining those people if they ever show up in our territories again, and beat-, getting some answers out of them."

Man you are so good! PLEASE keep them coming!

[taalismn]

testpattern

[taalismn]

oops

[taalismn]

oops

[taalismn]

testpattern(with blood streaks)

[taalismn]

Testpattern(dissolves into plasma brightness)

[taalismn]

Just watched Silent Hill today.... man, that was some movie..... May be you, Taalisman, can write up one of the more serious reports like that shown in Silent Hill.

Unfamiliar with it, but even as we speak, diligent NON investigators are digging for information(make take awhile, however, what with the outbreak of giant radioactive ants on Selona V, and the reported use of orbital weather control lasers to firestorm a viral zombie outbreak on Gamos XIX)


Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/15676/31263118
Dance of Life Stops Civil War
----Eaglosia, Branana Sector, Corkscrew Galaxy: A volatile situation between the temperate paradise world of Eaglosia and its equally hospitable colony world Maraglosis, was defused today when famed zero-gravity dance artist Melyssa StarRaven literally danced into the sights of the opposing fleets and forced a truce. As a thirty-strong Eaglosian government warship fleet maneuvered to attack the equally matched disident Maraglosian strongarm force, StarRaven, of the prestigious United Newstar Tribes Dance Troupe, appeared between the two fleets. Clad only in her trademark black and silver spaceskin, and maneuvering field bracelets and anklets, StarRaven proceeded to dance for a full eight hours straight, in a cloud of reflective multicolored aerosols misted to form her 'stage' in free space, unmindful of the multiple targeting systems that were locked onto her by both fleets, but remaining always between the two hostile forces. Eventually, touched and moved by the peace activist dancer's boldness and courage in putting herself in harm's way, both forces elected to withdraw from the battlefield, not a shot fired, and resolve their differences at mediated negotiations.
"She danced with her heart and soul, and it touched their hearts and souls," said Marshall Alan Drethanruin BigStick, commander of the eighty-warship United Newstar Tribes Peacekeeper Force that accompanied StarRaven into the Eaglosia system, "Nothing can hope to match that sort of persuasion."

[taalismn]

Network Omni News Technical Report:
Dateline: 6/157749/315636

Owing to zombie problems on Gamos XIX disrupting local leyline transmissions, our regular newscasts in that sector have been disrupted, resulting pre-editing versions being prematurely released into the data transmission stream, bypassing normal editing control buffers...as soon as possible, we hope to have these anomalies removed from the archival datastream, as soon as we replace the devoured technical crews and finish cleansing Gamos XIX with solar flare purification...

Our humblest apologies for any inconvenience this causes our faithful viewers.

---Cybssynthcryth, Owner, Manager, and Main Editor, Network Omni News

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash:
Dateline: 6/17004/6235713
Cyborg Overlord Signs Major Shipbuilding Contract

-----Mulzona Derek, Central Alliance, Anvil Galaxy
General Nordek, supreme cyborg dictator of the periphery Central Alliance, by the shores of the metal-rich seas of Mulzona Derek, signed an agreement forming StarForge Shipyards, a major deal that analysts say, if successful, will give the notoriously starship-strapped Central Alliance its own source of new commercial and combat vessels, aside from the adhoc small operations going on currently.
Little is known of the companies behind StarForge Shipyards....to daste, the best that industry experts have been able to ascertain, is that they are either from new worlds or possibly from outdimension, lilely looking for entry into the galactic markets of the Three Galaxies, without the scrutiny that setting up shop in larger, more rigoriously legislated, societies of the Three Galaxies would bring. However, they appear to have convinced the normally suspicious Nordek and his staff of their reliability, and given the massive amount of infrastructure material already put forward by SFS, clearly willing to invest heavily in the Central Alliance, not normally seen as a secure business partner in the best of times. Large processing and construction facilities built new on and in orbit of Mulzona Derek and several neighboring worlds attest to a much-negotiated and approved agreement between Nordek and SFS.
Equally little is known of what designs SFS will produce for the Central Alliance, although SFS representatives present at the signing spoke, and demonstrated footage, of modular designs utilizing a variety of technologies available in the Central Alliance, and of a design trend that will 'take advantage of the unique properties and talents of the Central Alliance's citizens'. This has been taken to be a reference to the Central Alliance's strong bias towards cybernetic and bionic augmentation, and starship design analysts, looking for a hint of things to come, believe this likely means higher drive accelerations, cut life support requirements, and greater cybernetic interface integration.
Most certainly, StarForge Shipyards will produce military, as well as commercial, spacecraft for the Central Alliance. This has already raised concerns from neighbors such as the Golgan Republik, who fear that an aggressive Central Alliance with greater ability to project its power through space may mean increased tensions along the borders. However, Central Alliance defense force officers have pointed to renewed Splugorth activity along their frontiers as evidence that the Alliance needs increased military power to insure its safety.
In any case, defense and starship engineering experts are watching developments in the Central Alliance to see if StarForge Shipyards will indeed become a powerful new factor in stabilizing and securing the Alliance, or whether it will wither and collapse in the near-lawless cyborg psuedo-state.

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/19009/234952
Demonstar Plague Ravages Gardentopia
-Dalenwald, Jasbec Sector, Thundercloud Galaxy. Roughly a month after an attack by three Demonstar entities penetrated planetary defenses around Dalenwald, CCW health officials have conceded that the outbreak of contagion is 'beyond our ability to currently cure', and Level 1 Planetary Quarantine has been initiated. No vessels are allowed in or out, planetary communications outside the system are being jammed, system-orbit minefields emplaced, and all ships that visited the planet within the last month are required to turn themselves in IMMEDIATELY for quarantine.
The trouble began a month ago when five Demonstar vessels uncharacteristically invaded the system and engaged planetary defenses. Two of the creature-vessels were destroyed, but the remaining three managed to get close enough to the atmosphere to deploy a previously unseen weapon for Demonstars---space to surface ordnance. In addition to explosives aimed at population centers, the missiles also apparently deployed some form of aerosol bioweapon dispensers. However, this was not known until some weeks after the attack, when outlying agricultural stations began being swept by rampant disease---and in particular a degenerative form of madness that progressed into mindless aggression, cannibalism, and ultimately death. Despite the best efforts of health officials to contain the outbreak, the contagion continued to spread unchecked, assisted by the apparent magical(though what few mages were able to study the plague reported a 'demonic taint') aspects of the plague---as their madness progresses, victims apparently became faster, superhumanly strong, and resistant to most weaponry(some reports claim that plague victims were shrugging off light laser fire), before ultimately spontaneously combusting...the smoke and scattered offal apparently helping spread the illness further. After loosing several surface teams, and losing control of the situation, CCW health authorities ultimately instituted Level One lockdown on the planet.
The proclaimation is a hard blow for Jasbec Sector, as Dalenwald served as the largest breadbasket agricultural world for the sector---fully 80% of the 212 million people on Dalenwald were involved in agricultural production. With the quarantine of the planet, food prices in the sector are expected to rise as much as 3%, leading some experts to worry that some of the less well-off planets in the sector may have to cut allocations to public assistance food distribution programmes, a prospect made all teh more daunting by threats of increased violence in neighboring Atrel Sector, and any following flood of refugees.
In the meantime, the CCW is containing Dalenwald, while the orbital labs continue to look for a cure....CCW CDC experts are reportedly enlisting the help of UWW doctors, among others, to help neutralize the magical aspects fot the disease.
Military experts are more concerned about the origins of the disease; "We've never seen Demonstars operate like this before, or use weapons like this...We know so little about those monstrousities, and this presents an unwelcome new angle to their evil. We urge all in the Three Galaxies to be wary of the Demonstars...this may signal a deadly new campaign against life in the Three Galaxies."

[Aramanthus]

Those are both very cool hooks thanks for sharing them both with us on the boards! Keep them coming!

[Aramanthus]

Hey Thanks for inspiring me Taalismn. Tonight at work during the lull in stuff coming into the lab I managed to start the creation of 14 classes of military starships for the Central Alliance. I think I'm over my sabatical from gaming and GMing! WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

[taalismn]

Network Omni News CultureGram:
Dateline: 6/20001/1233712
Librarian Advocates Cannibalism!
----Terra Elda, Corkscrew Galaxy: Pay and stress levels in the data recovery profession, despite booming demand, have led junior-level Librarians to begin advocating cannibalism of non-essential patrons as a means of both relieving job stress and extending already threat-bare food budgets.
"When even a box of CarniCrunchies eats into the wallet PDA, the lean and hungry professional look starts getting old real fast." stated Junior Grade Reference Librarian Cosmottic Senjo, of the Neavou Brittania Public DataArchive, "some of the fatheads who come in and mess up our hardcopy collections start looking mighty tempting...and it's not as if people aren't already disappearing in the stacks....the Almighty knows they're doing everything else in there."
A senior NBPDA administrator dismissed Senjo's statements as the result of stress. "He works five part-time jobs in different Galaxies, and his personal stellacommutta sprang a coolant leak and blew a head gasket....expensive job, and he's feeling the pinch...But we assure patrons that they are in NO danger of being eaten if they come into our facilities...unless they happen to be telemarketers, starship rental agency employees, or garage and spaceport workers...And, NO, we do NOT advocate humans eating humans...or any sentient in our employ eating any other sentient, especially patrons, no matter how dire the circumstances."
Others disagree with the sentiments expressed by the NBPDA. "Really, it's taken you humans this long to catch on that telemarketers and car rental agency personnel are wonderful sources of proteien? Why do you discourage their consumption if it means a healthier, happier, workforce?" Brodkil Lorekeeper Slac GroynCRunch(Boneyard National Library) replied; "Hunting one's food is a great stress reliever, and librarians build up a LOT of stress...and hardcopy archival storage makes such WONDERFUL ambush grounds to those who know their profession well!"

[taalismn]

Hey Thanks for inspiring me Taalismn. Tonight at work during the lull in stuff coming into the lab I managed to start the creation of 14 classes of military starships for the Central Alliance. I think I'm over my sabatical from gaming and GMing! WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah! Great! I can hardly wait to see what you come up with! Showrooms and mercenary garages await the arrival of the new line!

[Aramanthus]

I know the feeling Darkmax! It sucked not being able to get in here.

[Aramanthus]

Actually I'm working on those ships. Soon enough.

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/24777/213631
Dimensional Research Facility Devastated by Freak Electrical Storms
----Chenosa, Abadale Sector, Thundercloud Galaxy. Only hours after famous interdimensional transposition phsyicist Gaboor Mann announced that he had made contact with a 'wholly new elemental plane composed of electrical energy', his entire facility was destroyed by a series of freak electrical storms that surged across the normally placid planet of Chenosa.
Doctor Mann, best known previously for his demonstration of dimensional probe techniques that have allowed Three Galaxy scientists to explore, albeit in limited fashion, some of the phenomenon normally associated with magical dimensional nexi such as Phaseworld's Center, had established a small research facility on the periphery world of Chenosa(mainly known for its export of kava-grain and its rarely-changing temperate weather) where he worked at the behest of Abadale Chemex University. Dr. Mann had been quiet for the last eight years, until he recently called a teleconference with the scientific press community to announce his finding of what he called a 'wholly new elemental plane, one composed of electrical phenomenon', for which he promised future details.
Only hours later, local survivors say, a clear sky on Chenosa suddenly changed as skies abruptly grew overcast, and massive electricasl storms broke out around the University lab site.
"it was dark, and yet it was glowing....our hair just stood on end..the air was crackling...then the lightning started flying...." Twevor Loogan, local Chenosan farmer, said. "It was coming like nothing I've seen! Just rolling in in waves, striking stuff, setting it afire, or just blasting it outright!"
Within moments, the storms rolled over an estimated quarter of the planet, catching local emergency services offguard and paralyzing communications and transportation. The storms relented after a hour or so before disappearing as quickly as they came, but leaving massive devastation behind, and over 30% of Chenosa's 8 million residents dead or seriously wounded.
(videofeed of mssive damage to buildings, a charred hovercar, emergency workers laying out bodybags).
Survivors report that even buildings protected by ligtning rods and other weather safety devices weren't safe...in fact, such structures seemed to draw storm damage. And one local videographer managed to catch these images...
(videofeed of a grey dark sky, occasionally lit by flashes, and punctuated by blowing debris...the shaky image zooms in to extreme telephoto range and a grainy image of what appear to be two vaguely humanoid, spidery-limbed, glowing forms, floating over the horizon grassline, before the point of view apparently takes cover..)
Rescuers advancing on the site of Dr. Mann's lab found it completely destroyed,the staff either all dead, or missing. No trace of Dr. Mann himself has been found, despite thorough searchesof the planet for him.
To some in the interdimensional research community, the tragedy at Chenosa is readily explainable. Halor Baltozo, a D-Shifter associated with the United Worlds of Warlock Planar Comprehension Bureau, had this to say; "Gaboor Mann was known to us, but beyond his academic credits, he was an arrogant man, blinded by his own brilliance...He may have created some tools for openning dimensional portals for seeing beyond, but he never bothered asking those who have used subtler and more environmentally friendly techniques, more in keeping with the harmonic resonances of the cosmos, what effects his technology might have on the universes he essentially invaded. His methods were crude and lacked grace...it was like poking a red-hot rod through somebody's window, was what he was doing...and this time, something poked back."

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/248900/412684

Naruni Researcher on Loose After Freak Accident!

----Mendalo City, Gadorka VI, Aspar Sector, Anvil Galaxy. While researching reports of unethical biomedical experimentation using political prisoners at a Naruni Enterprises research laboratory in MendaloCity, Network Omni News investigative reporters caught footage of this accident:

(Videofeed, obviously from behind a door in some sort of laboratory, that zooms in on a young Uteni lab worker holding a transparent tube of something up to the light.)

Lab Assistant: "It's...AMAZING...incredible, even! But, Doctor Zennfoomo, are you sure it's safe? Did you really have to use YOURSELF?"

(A voice, small, tiny, and obviously artifically amplified, comes from the tube...the camera focus zooms in on the tube to see a small vaguely visible form in some sort of tiny suit, sitting inside the tube)

Zennfoomo: "Of COURSE it's incredible! And of COURSE it's safe! Do you think that -I-, the great Doctor MetaGalis Zennfoomo, most brilliant mind of Naruni Enterprises' physics labs, would subject myself to my own amazing molecular volumatic readjustment compressor iof it WASN'T? Of course it's bloody well safe! And it's perfect! Ideal! I'm a fifieth of my original size, yet I don't weigh any more than an ounce, and I feel perfectly fine! This just provesmy brilliance! No more puttering around with those vainglorious mages with their precious 'mysteries of universal mana manipulation! Hah! I've improved on that *** 'shrink' spell! With this new technology, our logistical shipping, smuggling, covert ops operations will be REVOLUTIONIZED, all thanks to MY brilliance! Count yourself lucky to be my minion, Renwis, because teh rewards of sci---what's that?!"

Rewis:(suddenly looking directly at the camera)"Huh...Who--?! WHAH!(suddenly stumbles, dropping the tube--)"

ZennFoomo:"You FOOL!!! Look out for the ti---"

(SplaGLish--FUP! FHHOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSHHHHHHOOOMMMMMglurkaglurka)
(video cuts out)

Only moments after this piece was aired, Gadorkan authorities reported a massive influx of bountyhunter and corporate security-espionage teams descending on Mendalo City.
(A large man in a uniform identifying himself as Mendalo City Police Chief Vicco Paz appears on the screen)"Yeah, we have a sudden rise in the number of suspicious-looking, obviously armed, outsiders and more than a few of our local hired thugs coming out of the woodwork and heading for the sewer systems---our utility crews and fire department are reporting manholes and storm grates pried up all over the place...We're already getting reports of service outages...seems like underground lines are being damaged or cut, steam is bursting free in some locations, and we got loss of water pressure in some neighborhoods...The service folks are afraid to go down there, because they swear they hear gunfire in the tunnels, and we got a slittle old lady over on Westside who thinks her building's settling....Crazy stuff like smoke rising from people's johns and vermin fleeing the underground."
Several Naruni competitors, Hartigal Combine and Galactic Armory among them, have issued statements denying any involvement in the problems besetting Mendalo City....

[Aramanthus]

LOL Opps Poor brilliant idiot!

[Aramanthus]

This is a very abbreviated starship. I'll detail it a lot more later. This gives me something to work with when at home with my starship templates. So forgive it's brief form!


:::A commentator comes out onto a showroom central stage. Above him a hologram winks on. It takes several seconds for the hologram to form a scene of a stardock. And the image becomes clearer and more focused as if the camera was drawing closer to it.:::

The commentator clears his throat. "About a year ago our company came to this dimesion. We wanted to bring balance to this universe where chaos reign so much of the time. We saw the our clients, The Central Alliance were in need of some serious help with their anicent but functional starships. We offered to give them assistance in protecting their worlds. We at first looked at their fleet and looked at what was going on in the Three Galaxies. We arranged for some new vessels to be built at a reasonable cost. And the is one of the examples we have produced." :::The camera has approached the stardock close enough to make out the 2100 foot wedge form of a ship bristling with weapons and anntena. And the commentator continues......"StarForge Shipyards Presents an Original Creation for the Central Alliance Fleet! I'd like to present the "Kreig" class of Pocket Battleships. This is the first of this class which will help bring protection to the Central Alliance. This is of course just one of the many classes which StarForge will be building for the Central Allinance." :::With that the commentator leaves the podium and exits the showroom.:::


Kreig Pocket Battleships 2,600,000 Tons, 112,000 MDC, 24 Fighters, 85 Power Armor,
2 50 cm Laser Cannons, 2 30cm Particle Beam Cannons, 4 8cm Heavy Railguns,
8 Double Barreled PDS Railguns/ Hi-Lasers in ball turrets, 4 Cruise Missile Batteries, 4 LR Missile Launchers, 8 Medium Missile Launchers


And I will expnad on this and others I'm working on. I hope people enjoy it!

[taalismn]

Don't forget some of the advantages of having crews of full-conversion cyborgs....
*Loss of Hull Integrity isn't as damaging, since most of the crew is effectively already 'in' vacuum armor
*Assault Cyborgs make for great pinpoint close-in defense turrets
*Better workstation interfaces
*Greater acceleration-gee tolerance

and on the subject of starships:

Network Omni News: Ask the DriveMaster:
Dateline: 6/21008/466989
*’Stellacommutta’-----That’s spacer pop-slang for a class of small craft rarely larger than a Class 3 Cargo Can, seating at most six sentients, carrying at tops a ton of cargo, with FTL capability of 5 light years an hour or better(better than most military craft), and a cost less than that of a tramp freighter. Also ‘arm-jumper’, ‘space-bug’, and ‘wagejet’.
Sound like your kinda ship? Small, fast, and cheap? Before you run out to buy one, better know the rest of the story. Stellacommuttas are the bottom-list limited occupancy ships meant for wage-drones whose expertise means they have to be several places around the Big Three pretty much at once, but who aren’t paid enough to afford a real ship with all the trimmings. Yep, this is the surface-hovercar econobox on hyperdrive. Their whole purpose is to move a few people to places fast and reliably...nothing more and little less.
Most stellacommuttas are small, modest affairs---saucer or cylinder-shaped hulls with no more of an armor index of 800(most fall into the 400-600 class), basic life support cabin, and eighty percent of the mass given over to drive systems....particularly the faster than light drive system, because the conventional space propul is downright weak....Life support’s nearly bare minimal....basic cabin, rad-shield, atmo recycling, and not much else....there just ain’t ROOM....sure, you can stretch out and sleep if you’re desperate, but a few days of that will have you crinkled up like a T’zee. Cargo capacity’s also bare bones...hardly enough room to swing a tree-leapoid.
The drive, though, will push the whole affair pretty damn fast...and if 5 lights ain’t enough, most stellacommuttas have Gateway beacons and wormhole pass-flashers...some have even more exotic drives like mini-folders, all intended to move the thing FAST at FTL.
Sounds like a perfect scoutship or courier, right? What can be wrong with something that goes that fast? Well. lemme count the ways this thing can go wrong....
You gotta be suspicious of anything that sells for 40 million or less. To start with, those big fast engines? They’re old brute force technology...fast as hell, but so freakin’ finicky, nobody most messes with them anymore....a stellacommutta’s light-jumpers are so delicate that travelling near gravity sheer, plasma storms, leylines, or even a heavy cruiser’s FTL grav wake at a dozen AUs will knock them silly and likely dump the ship back into normal space...just about any big space/time/gravity anomaly will play merry havoc with a stellacommutta’s drives...That restricts them to well-surveyed spacelanes and travel paths...no going ‘offroad’ into the uncharted regions unless you have backup.
That nixes them as scouts.
The drives are so itchy that carrying certain cargos will drive them off kilter and upset the navcomps.....Anti-matter’s a no-no, certain magical artifacts, space/time displacer coils, certain types of phase-tech....and even natural teleporter races like dragons and floopers complain that flying on a stellacommuttas are like going through a crash...over and over...and over....
That nixes them as couriers.
Furthermore, the drives are noisy...and by that I mean they kick up such a gravitic racket that military sensors can pick them up at twice, or better, the range of other drives...like a blazing torch saying ‘here I am!!!”. No shielding, no baffling, no stealth...
That nixes them as smugglers.
And that performance is related to throw-weight...the usable mass that engine;s supposed to carry around....stellacommuttas can only acheive such high speeds by carrying bare minimum of mass...that means no big mass-hogging life support systems. And most builders of stallecommuttas sacrifice all sorts of things, like life support amenities, armor(forget about weaponry!), advanced communications, sophisticated navigation systems, and all that good stuff. Stellacommuttas are expected to get places fast, so crew can’t expect capacity to go more than a week without a rest stop and grocery restocking...and if you’re stranded far from civilization, forget about quick response with the comgear on most of the class....that’s cut out too.
All power goes to the engines, with precious little available for anything else...forget about shields or weaponry...and even then the fusion plants on most stellacommuttas are taxed for those long intergalactic jumps....Most can’t go more than 200 lights at a jumpm without having to spend a few hours sucking supplemental power into batteries from a handy service satellite or spacedock. To further cut expenses, a lot of manufacturers cut out advanced navigation systems too...many stellacommuttas have to download travel coords from traffic control at the point of origin, and get another set from the other end to get back.....some can’t even fly without remote telemetry from local space control!
Needless to say, if the manufacturers cut power and nav capacity, the peripeherals are also going to suffer.....Stellacommuttas typically have mediocre in-atmo performance, the agility of a brick, and zilch dodge ability. Sensors are bare miminal to get the ship to avoid obstacles, land, and take off again. There's precious little space for other amenities, like that Zargar Alcohol Fountain, gel-bed, or wide-region holotheatre.
That nixes them as yachts or racers.
There’s a lot that needs improvement, and darn little space and capacity to do it with....variations of stellacommutta exist, and spaceport-kitbashes are out there, that add light armor, extra power, a weapon or two, better avionics, improved engines, and more life suppirt space,....most committ monry to upgrading the safety systems with hyperspace distress beacons and stasis focrefeild capsules... and some of them are actually quite useful...but most operators figure, why bother? For the cost of buffing up a stellacommutta into something useful, one can buy a better ship and have enough left over for snacks. Most buyers and operators figure that at the cheap cost of a stellacommutta, they save enough to get another after the 15-20 year estimated lifespan of these things. Disposable ships...
Seasoned adventurers and spacers wouldn’t be caught dead flying one of these things....it’s safer and easier getting a berth on a starbus, cattlepod, or tramp-hauler...but stellacommuttas are still immensely popular out there. Upper crust aristos won’t touch ‘em because for all their speed, stellacommuttas lack style and elegance...it's like puttering a Golgan Zoomo gravcar into an Altess social function . Business and the military won’t use them because they’re so unreliable on anything other than well-pioneered routes and territories..easier and more practical to buy or hire a purpose-built courier or transit-scout to do the same jobs. Who buys them? Usually upper middle-class professionals who need to get around to various job-sites. They’re distressingly popular, despite their shortcomings, with families, who want the thrill of interstellar travel...and juvie-holos like ‘Sazzy the Starbug’ make them out to be the underdog little starships that can do anything with a little luck, pluck, and a lot of prayer(and we emphasize a LOT). Finally, folks with no other resources aside from hiring somebody else to fly them, or go public stellar-transit, buy these things, figuring it’s at least giving them some self-determination, and better than nothing. Desperate egoism over practicality, or maybe some last resonant cord of pride and dignity....
And, in spite of everything else, there’s people who grow attached to the bittle buggers...folks who pour millions of credits into keeping these planned obselesence stellar gulf-jumpers to keep them going beyond their time, because they’ve grown attached to their starships....these folks lavish attention on their ships, accord them kin-status, and wouldn’t trade them away for something better...because in their minds, there is NOTHING better. Pathetic? No, these people tedn to know their ships better than a lot of the rest of us, keep mechanics busy, and actually manage to elevate the humble little stellacommutta to something more than basic intergalactic transport.
So various manufacturers keep churning out stellacommuttas, people keep buying them, and the Three Galaxies keep on turning....

[Aramanthus]

I'm taking that into consideration Taalismn. As I said it was a preliminary stage. I'm planning on several full tranferred intellienges (brains) to be running each of the ships and other vehicles I'm planning.

[taalismn]

I'm taking that into consideration Taalismn. As I said it was a preliminary stage. I'm planning on several full tranferred intellienges (brains) to be running each of the ships and other vehicles I'm planning.

In the cyber-happy society of the Central Alliance, I imagine that being chosen to be the 'brains' of a warship is quite an honor...it's like donning the ultimate bionic (war)body..

"Oh yeah! General Nordek thought so highly of my courage at Belgar Gate that he ordered me transplanted into a new battlecruiser hull! I'm SOMEBODY!!!"
---'Bloody Thrasher', cyborg mainbrain of the Dropblade-class(aka 'Guillotine'-class) heavy cruiser of the same name.

"Oh geez...All I got was a propulsion pod welded to my buttocks and I was told to go out the airlock and kill something...."
---Risco Venchurr, full-conversion spacetrooper

[Aramanthus]

ROFLMAO! By george I think he got it!

Those are sort of the idea I was kicking around for the Central Alliance ships.

[glitterboy2098]

I'm taking that into consideration Taalismn. As I said it was a preliminary stage. I'm planning on several full tranferred intellienges (brains) to be running each of the ships and other vehicles I'm planning.

In the cyber-happy society of the Central Alliance, I imagine that being chosen to be the 'brains' of a warship is quite an honor...it's like donning the ultimate bionic (war)body..

"Oh yeah! General Nordek thought so highly of my courage at Belgar Gate that he ordered me transplanted into a new battlecruiser hull! I'm SOMEBODY!!!"
---'Bloody Thrasher', cyborg mainbrain of the Dropblade-class(aka 'Guillotine'-class) heavy cruiser of the same name.

"so, how many softies does it take to change a lightbulb?"

sounds like you've been reading your McCaffrey.

[Aramanthus]

I don't know. Please tell us!

[taalismn]

How big are those pockets?! 2 million ton battleship, is a "pocket-size"???!!!!!

"Big enough that when I pull up to yah. smugglepunk, you're going to realize runnin' bad cyberware into the Alliance was a BAD idea...."
-----"BorderOgre"----Central Alliance Patrol Cruiser


and on the issue of machines:

Network Omni Newsflash:

Dateline: 6/260070/366163
Omeditron AI's Declare Captive Human Breeding Program a Success!
-----Omeditron Phasa, Dlphaas Sector, Thundercloud Galaxy. 400 years after a self-initiated thermonuclear civil war erased eighty percent of the ecosystem and 99% of the resident human life of Human-spet colonized Omeditron Phasa, the planet's ruling Artificial Intelligences have today announced that a program to breed back the human population is showing signs of success.
"In the beginning a lot of us wanted to just let the hairless apes die off...they'd gone and ruined the place in the first place, and wrecked the scenary for the rest of us." Public Relations High-Tier Interface BX24545 stated to reporters, "But a lot of the civil administration and military systems felt guilty for letting things go so far out of their control...they could have stopped it, but didn't. Besides, Oracle DELPH8700 issued a calculated prediction: 'If Humanity From Omeditron Phasa Vanishes, Core Decay Shall Claim Those Who Remain.'...a lot of us thought it was static coming from a former beast-race odds calculator, but we all had enough doubts to swing a vote towards keeping the softbodies alive.."
The program initiated on Omeditron sequestered survivors in safe zones away from radiation, and care was taken to remove damaged specimens from the genepool, while overseeing a careful breeding program. At the same time, the AIs began re-terraforming the planet and expanding the ecological safe zones.
"We really apologize to those softbodies we had to detain from passing spacecraft, but in order to expand the viable genepool we really had ot obtain fresh genetic material." SciDrone DARW2346324678 explained, in response to complaints that the AIs of Omeditron Phasa were stopping starships passing near the system and removing humans from them for medical testing and sampling. "We find that these protests of 'unlawful probing' , 'clinical humiliation', and ' theft of precious bodily fluids' to be rather absurd, though...don't these people understand they're helping others of their kind?"
The AI program wardens report that since initiation of the captive breeding program, the human population on Omeditron Phasa has risen from a few hundred to several thousand.
SciDrone DARW2346324678 waxed optimistic; "We're seeing a healthy, robust, population here that will soon be ready to leave the environment of the labs and enter the newly expanded reserves. With care and nuturing, we should have a global population again, though without the problems we previously saw."
When asked if reporters could speak to any of the humans, as well as asked pointblank why the AIs had not allowed any previous access to the survivors before, amidst allegations of behavioral modifications, SciDrone DARW2346324678 replied." Bit-wash! Those allegations come from organo-supremacists who think we're torturing our charges....Look, these people's ancestors nearly obliterated themselves, and we had to take drastic measures to preserve them...You have to expect some differences, and part of that is keeping them from harmful outside influences...we just don't want to go through this again in another couple of hundred years or so, so we're going to handle things right this time."

[taalismn]

On another note, the prices of human flesh have dropped 25% after the news of the successful repopulation of Omeditron Phasa.

Various human-loving races are flocking to their nearest supermarket to order their share of this long overdued price cut on their favourite food item.

Neywork Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/26600/24649238

Mad Human Disease Strikes Thunderhead Meat Markets!
------Palletos Karma III, Ensori Sector, Thunderhead Galaxy. Authorities for the Allied Monstrous Races Medical Association(AMRMA) announced today a potentially major health hazard in the discovery of mad human disorder in samples of human meat sampled throughout the Thunderhead.
"We're all used to seeing signs of madness in humans---it's second nature to them---foaming at the mouth, convulsions, hallucinations, paranoia coupled with increased aggression and hysterical blindness, doing the moonwalk, ending in screaming death----pretty standard fare for humans," Doctor RedRage, dragon spokesman for the AMRMA, said during the press conference." ---but this is the first time we've started seeing it among our own circles...we've charted an alarming upswing in irrational madness coupled with acute neuralogical breakdown and death in consumers of human meat."
"At this time we can't tell if it's a result of a prion, a bacteria, inadequate processing of human meat, or environmental factors in the stock, and we can't trace it to a single source, like a single planetary population or packing plant."
When asked what precautions consumers should take, Doctor RedRage was cautious: "We're still in the analysis stage of this spike....We advise consumers of human meat to take care to note where and when they acquire their food...try not to deal with shady characters...and follow proper food handling etiquette...don't eat any obviously sick or deranged humans...Yes, I know that's difficult for some of the 'cull the weak' predators out there, but a little could save your life...And if you feel any symptoms, don't try to shrug them off; see a physician immediately!"
When asked about the possibility of the epidemic of human madness being the result of a biowapon or curse, Doctor RedRage could only repeat that it was far too early to tell, but that the AMRMA was investigating all possibilities with open minds...

[Aramanthus]

Actually Darkmax on the scale I'm using. (Which I tinhk very highly of and will continue to use.) 1.2 million tons is on the light side for that particular area. The capital ship section works like this for me.

Battlecruisers 2000 -3000 feet long, 100,000 - 200,000 MDC Main body.

Battleships 3500 - 6000 feet long, 200,000 - 350,000 MDC Main body

Dreadnaughts 10,000 Feet Long +, 350,000 - 1,000,000 + MDC Main Body.

It works and I like it. Some is from one source and some of it is from stuff I did research on.

So my little Pocket Battelship would fall into the bottom end of the Battlecruiser section. Remember the pocket Battleships of WW2 only weighed in at around 10,000 tons. It fell at the very bottom of the Battlecruisers weight classification.

[Alpha 11]

He, he! Keep it coming, keep it coming!

[Reddenedone]

I agree, I can't get enough of this thread.

[Aramanthus]

It is very funny!

[taalismn]

Egad! We're made 15 pages!
Thanks to your continued interest and the steady stream of replies, counterpoints, and reactions!
(blows party-favor)


And in that spirit...

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/270400/4324863

Trickster Legion Strikes Again! Robs TGE Garrison Bald-Bottomed!
---Alegra Gate, Mesec Sector, TransGalactic Empire, Corkscrew Galaxy. The infamous Trickster Legion, a FWC-affiliated mercenary unit known and feared for their outrageous strategies and tactics, has scored another coup in their attack on the well-fortified and well-equipped TGE garrison on Alegra Gate, guarding the strategic Amedias Gulf Hyperpass. From what has been determined by Imperial investigators, Trickster Legion operatives apparently penetrated the garrison's security, even bypassing telepathic security probes, then procceeded, most likely over a period of weeks or months, to make off with over 99% of the garrison's, and nearby fleet depot's, equipment, replacing them with perfect, but nonfunctional, duplicates....replacing stockpiled sidearms with toy replicas, and even replacing parked and bunkered spacecraft with blowup parade floats and fascades. The deception was not discovered until last Zennsday, when garrison troops, called upon to put down a labor protest on nearby Zacanon's Moon with maximum force, discovered their weapons either nonoperational or otherwise neutralized(by squib detonators, compviruses, or phony powerpacks). Casualties among the garrison troops were unexpectedly heavy, and an immediate investigation of the garrison's logistics was launched.
"They were thorough...so thorough they even managed to get our personal sidearms." said garrison-commander General Alsheeman, before his execution. "Aside from a few disappearances in the ranks, and they even covered themselves there with some 'accidental' vaporizations and medical emergencies, we'd never have noticed them. But I still can't figure out how they got the heavy equipment out...well, I guess that's why they're drawing and quartering me..."
Besides several thousand sets of infantry equipment, small arms, a hundred various light vehicles, fifty sets of power armor, eight robots, and several thousand tons of supplies, the Trickster Legion also made off with twenty-five fighters, ten gunships, six scoutships, three fleet freighters, two couriers, several thousand tons of fleet ordnance, and two computer cores, including full sets of command codes and communications logs....an impressive haul, but not the biggest the Legion has ever made, that being the entire disappearance of the Sulsas 9 Research Station and its replacement in orbit with a pink paper-mache replica. In the past, the Legion has also been known for introducing shell-softener into Kreeghor environmental systems, swamping several garrisons with their own sewage systems, tricking Kreeghor Hounds into attacking their own legions, luring pursuing enemy legions into attacking their own command units, and programming an entire invasion fleet's ship-comps into playing orbital mosh to the rockin' tunes of comsopunk Bloodleech Modango's 'Garbage Clash'.
(Videofeed cuts out from an image of a stylized chrome fox's head, tail curled underneath, one eye winking)

[taalismn]

Actually Darkmax on the scale I'm using. (Which I tinhk very highly of and will continue to use.) 1.2 million tons is on the light side for that particular area. The capital ship section works like this for me.

Battlecruisers 2000 -3000 feet long, 100,000 - 200,000 MDC Main body.

Battleships 3500 - 6000 feet long, 200,000 - 350,000 MDC Main body

Dreadnaughts 10,000 Feet Long +, 350,000 - 1,000,000 + MDC Main Body.

It works and I like it. Some is from one source and some of it is from stuff I did research on. .

"Everybody calls me ugly, but nobody calls me fat---and everybody calls me when they want something to die a fat and ugly death!"
-----Ledec "ForgeClaw"---Central Alliance Command Brain, 'Leveraged Negotiation'-class Battleship 'ForgeClaw'

[Aramanthus]

You have to do what you have to do!

[Alpha 11]

Egad! We're made 15 pages!
Thanks to your continued interest and the steady stream of replies, counterpoints, and reactions!
(blows party-favor)


And in that spirit...

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/270400/4324863

Trickster Legion Strikes Again! Robs TGE Garrison Bald-Bottomed!
---Alegra Gate, Mesec Sector, TransGalactic Empire, Corkscrew Galaxy. The infamous Trickster Legion, a FWC-affiliated mercenary unit known and feared for their outrageous strategies and tactics, has scored another coup in their attack on the well-fortified and well-equipped TGE garrison on Alegra Gate, guarding the strategic Amedias Gulf Hyperpass. From what has been determined by Imperial investigators, Trickster Legion operatives apparently penetrated the garrison's security, even bypassing telepathic security probes, then procceeded, most likely over a period of weeks or months, to make off with over 99% of the garrison's, and nearby fleet depot's, equipment, replacing them with perfect, but nonfunctional, duplicates....replacing stockpiled sidearms with toy replicas, and even replacing parked and bunkered spacecraft with blowup parade floats and fascades. The deception was not discovered until last Zennsday, when garrison troops, called upon to put down a labor protest on nearby Zacanon's Moon with maximum force, discovered their weapons either nonoperational or otherwise neutralized(by squib detonators, compviruses, or phony powerpacks). Casualties among the garrison troops were unexpectedly heavy, and an immediate investigation of the garrison's logistics was launched.
"They were thorough...so thorough they even managed to get our personal sidearms." said garrison-commander General Alsheeman, before his execution. "Aside from a few disappearances in the ranks, and they even covered themselves there with some 'accidental' vaporizations and medical emergencies, we'd never have noticed them. But I still can't figure out how they got the heavy equipment out...well, I guess that's why they're drawing and quartering me..."
Besides several thousand sets of infantry equipment, small arms, a hundred various light vehicles, fifty sets of power armor, eight robots, and several thousand tons of supplies, the Trickster Legion also made off with twenty-five fighters, ten gunships, six scoutships, three fleet freighters, two couriers, several thousand tons of fleet ordnance, and two computer cores, including full sets of command codes and communications logs....an impressive haul, but not the biggest the Legion has ever made, that being the entire disappearance of the Sulsas 9 Research Station and its replacement in orbit with a pink paper-mache replica. In the past, the Legion has also been known for introducing shell-softener into Kreeghor environmental systems, swamping several garrisons with their own sewage systems, tricking Kreeghor Hounds into attacking their own legions, luring pursuing enemy legions into attacking their own command units, and programming an entire invasion fleet's ship-comps into playing orbital mosh to the rockin' tunes of comsopunk Bloodleech Modango's 'Garbage Clash'.
(Videofeed cuts out from an image of a stylized chrome fox's head, tail curled underneath, one eye winking)

"In relative news, the command staff as been completely replaced. Several members have gone into early retirerment, some with and some without their retirement package. The rest were transferred to the most dangerest postings in the Kreeghor Empire. 'I knew this assignment was to good to be true,' said one of the Legionares who just so happen had just come back from the front lines only 2 months earlier."

And yes let us keep this up!

[Reddenedone]

You guys are keeping records of all your hard work here aren't you? Just in case?

[Aramanthus]

I am keeping records.

[taalismn]

Records? Er, what records?

(Artanax the Anguished, Evil Fallen CosmoKnight, wanders in...
"Hmmm...wonder what would happen if I spilled my Mega-Uber-Supra-Giganta-Oober-Doober-Cola* into this power outlet? Only one way to find out..")


*Mega-Uber-Supra-Giganta-Oober-Doober-Cola--In the Robotech Continua, the company that replaced Petite Cola as the global softdrink of choice, owing to the incredibly quick-minded sales staff's initiative in marketing to Zentraedi--While Mega-Uber-Supra-Giganta-Oober-Doober-Cola lacked the robotic mobile vending machines of Petite, it did make a mark on the marketing landscape with city block-sized vending machines and fiberglass and composite metal pressure vessel cans that, when empty, could be used as human-scale emergency shelters. Lately, in crossover continua, Mega-Uber-Supra-Giganta-Oober-Doober-Cola has begun showing up in the Three Galaxies, where chugging a 'standard' can has become the sport of dragon fraternities, and where several planets have blamed buold-up of greenhouse gasses in their atmospheres to excessive consumption of Mega-Uber-Supra-Giganta-Oober-Doober-Cola...not to mention offenses against public peace from the belching of local national anthems.

[taalismn]

Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 6/280672/145465615

Fashion Maven Dies Violent Death In Unintentional Territorial Dispute
-----New Paris, Paradise Foundation, Corkscrew Galaxy. Famed Fashion Maven R'gallee Phloresence, advisor on fashion to superstars, planetary leaders, emperors, aristocrats, and the high upper crust of society, was killed today as he arrived at the New Paris Phloresence Festival, the annual fashion show held at his personal studio, to showcase his latest fashions. Apparently, as the 60 year-old Noro was leaving his hovercar with his entourage, sporting his latest creation, he was approached on the red carpet by a native of Delaconis IV, who immediately began aggressive posturing. When Phloresence tried to shoo the unwelcome party crasher aside, the Delaconian immediately attacked him, bisecting the astonished Phloresence from crotch to sternum with a Kisenite blade. AS appaled onlookers watched, Phloresence immediately died from his injuries, and the Delaconian was arrested on the spot.
While speculation was immediate that the murder was a hit by Phloresence's fashion rivals, with a favorite motive being his scathing criticism of the much-lauded nanonicrokini fashions released several months ago.
However, New Parisian police authorities have advanced a different motive. Announced New Paris's Chief of Detectives, Geraud Esterhazee, "After questioning the suspect in custody, we believe that Mr. Phloresence was a victim of a tragic subliminal misunderstanding. Apparently, Mr. Phloresence's latest design fashion included a number of fabrics that had high infrared color values---values that the natives of Delaconis IV can see, and which are most often interpreted in their culture as indications of challenge among dominant males for local territorial dominance...Taken together with the large crowd turnout whose attention was focused on the challenging male---Mr. Phloresence---and the red carpet, which our suspect has admitted reminded him of the 'blood-soaked challenge sands of home', and the suspect thought he was being challenged for the right to share space in the city, and reacted accordingly. However, we still intend to prosecute on the grounds of murder, pre-meditated or not."
Some of Phloresence's supporters, however, aren't buying the 'cultural defense', seeing it as a flimsy cover story for a commercial whack-job. These fans of the late fashion-maven have demanded a galaxy-wide boycott of the products of all of Phloresence's rivals.
"His genuis will finally be recognized!" pledged one shopper in Phloresence's boutique, which was open for mourning hours. "WE will not rest until everyone in the THree Galaxies is wearing Phloresence!"

[taalismn]

Dragon street punk: Who's complaining about greenhouse gases? *blurrp!* Keep those drinks coming! This must be the best thing to come out of that universe... *BBBLLLLLUUUUURRRRPPPP!!!!!!* Hey! Where you guys gone??...

"I once shot down a Kreeghor Berserker once...thing was coming up behind me, looking to commerce-raid a nice helpless piece of freighter-trash like myself...but I was hauling a few six-packs of MUSGODCola in the bay...so while the TGE was leisurely coming up astern, I suited up, grabbed a can, openned the rear cargo bay, wrestled the drink into place, and wrenched off the tap...
The fizz-release into the bay almost killed me...knocked me silly like a buggeeball, and flooded the bay with bubbles before it allvented out into space, but with that much carbonation, thet cola-can took off like a courier...and smacked into the Berserker's missile volley just as it was leaving the launch hatches...guess they'd already armed, because teh missiles just flashed right then and there, and some of them musta been still inside the Berserk's shields, because that whole little pocket warship just went bomph! Guess it was my lucky day, or a bad day for Kreeghor engineering, because Cola Can versus Warship With Shields Up usually doesn't end in Cola Victory.
Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

[taalismn]

[quote="darkmax"]Somewhere in the Three Galaxies, in the HQ of the infamous Trickster Legion, a few members are resting in the recreation room.

Fyltor: Hey! It seems like old-man Phloresence has succumbed.

Crush: Really? Did the news buy the hypnotic rubbish about the Delaconian?
quote]

And already we have some Trickster Legion members! And a scheme!


But a thought for the fashion-conscious!

But is Phloresence REALLY dead? Doesn't bad fashion emerge from the woodwork every so often. when what is old is new again? After all, everybody thought disco was dead, despite the most diligent efforts of Naruni-sponsored operatives to kill off anyone wearing chest-baring silver dance apparel, and ever since the 'hyno-indoctrination assassin-training dance light' got used on Travolta VII, and set off a chain of political whacks throughout the colony.

[taalismn]

Hmmm... I think we should start one more of this thread for the Rifts forum....

So far, Network Omni News hasn't yet discovered Earth(Splynncryth is REALLY trying to hide its wherabouts from that no good nosy meddler Cybbysscryth, which IMMEDIATELY has the owner of NON delightedly suspicious of Splynnie-baby's discomforture every time the two meet---Splynncryth never was a good tesseract-poker player---and he's certain Splynn's hiding SOMETHING that will have Network Omni News crews digging up some major story material...so he's dispatched a few hundred reporters to sniff around and find out what they can), but it's only a matter of time.

[Aramanthus]

LOL Pretty funny!

[taalismn]

LOL Pretty funny!

The real comedy will begin when the news stringers start hitting parts of Earth like Chi-Town and demonstrate how 'free-for-all press' really operates...

PLus when they start going into the Vampire Kingdoms;
"Interview with a Vampire Intelligence"
Stoan Reporter: "You wanna tell me what you're up to, or do I gotta start hosing you down with this Holy WaterBottle of Saint Hydratus?!"
Vampire Intelligence: "er...."
Reporter: "Maybe the SuperSoaker of Saint Swithens?"
Vampire Intelligence: "agk..."
Reporter: "Or maybe you wanna see my Sun Globe of Mary Sola-INcendiarus?"
Vampire Intelligence: "Alright, alright! I was going to infiltrate the CS with master vampires in full armor, posing as officers! I'll give you all the bloodsucking details! Just..just put those things away!"