Welcome to Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane

[pblackcrow]

While Hawk looks for the correct scroll, Xanus will say, "Actually, there is one small thing. Do you have a cat of 9 tails...with an agony spell on the beads? A woman such as I needs something to pop a bad guy or these two with every now and then. And also a way back here would be nice as well. Sorry, but I grew up near those jungles. And I don't wish to return home."
Hawk asks, "Some of these scrolls I can't read the labels, but is this the one? The one with the glowing blue wax seal stamped with the eye of Ra and the word 'Phantom'?"
Arn will say, "If you're looking for the air spell, wouldn't it be more likely to have a white seal? After all, that is the color of the air temples. But, than again, blue has been associated with the high priests of Ra; but more prominently Gold is his color. Although the fact that it is glowing could be a sign that it's from His church."

[JuliusCreed]

While Hawk looks for the correct scroll, Xanus will say, "Actually, there is one small thing. Do you have a cat of 9 tails...with an agony spell on the beads? A woman such as I needs something to pop a bad guy or these two with every now and then. And also a way back here would be nice as well. Sorry, but I grew up near those jungles. And I don't wish to return home."
Hawk asks, "Some of these scrolls I can't read the labels, but is this the one? The one with the glowing blue wax seal stamped with the eye of Ra and the word 'Phantom'?"
Arn will say, "If you're looking for the air spell, wouldn't it be more likely to have a white seal? After all, that is the color of the air temples. But, than again, blue has been associated with the high priests of Ra; but more prominently Gold is his color. Although the fact that it is glowing could be a sign that it's from His church."

The old man nods with a smile as a selection of whips and scourges starts floating past of various types and sizes until finally coming to a braided black leather cat-o-nine-tails tipped with silvery blue beads. "This little number should fit the bill for you. Standard damage for a nine-tailed cat (2d6) and a successful strike induces the effects of an Agony spell (PFRPG pg 200) for a duration of 2 melee rounds unless a successful save against spell magic is made. Success means no Agony effects, but damage is still taken. As for a way back here..." he chuckles lightly and leans back in his chair, taking a sip from his cup,"... You just need to find my shop again. Trust me, there are branches to my shop in some of the unlikliest of places."
He glances over to Hawk and the scroll he's holding, adjusting his spectacles a bit as he inspects the parchment and gives a nod with a reassuring smile. "That's the one, my boy. The blue color you're seeing is associated with Ra's high priests, and while your brother is correct in the fact of gold being more closely associated with the great one, it was the color blue that was more closely associated with the powers Ra held over the sun and skies. Gold was associated with his leadership role amongst the gods of his pantheon after the great betrayal." He leans in close with a conspiritorail grin, beconing Hawk closer, "The symbol also bears an additional hidden mark that indicates anyone using it other than a High Priest of Ra will bear the mark of the scroll for one full cycle of the moon. The mark of the scroll is, of course, the glowing eye. I'm sure you can figure out the moon cycle thing." He takes another sip from his cup of tea and smiles gently. "Will there be anything else for you folks?"

[pblackcrow]

Xanus says, as she examines it, "Fine leather, good weight, excellent balance." gives it a test crack in the air, "Muhuhahahahahah, yeah baby! How much for it?"
Hawk will grin, and say "Um, how much exact for this and the um teleportation?" and signs "Nice cover story...He has no clue."
Arn says, "Hawk, you don't have to pay for the teleportation. I can do that myself."
Hawk will look at him as if to say, "I'm paying, end subject!"
Arn starts tossing the blue berries in his mouth, making it a point that his brother sees him eating a few, shrugs and says "Okay, fine. Marvelous blue berries by the way. I am sure that my brother will enjoy them."
Hawk nods, and turns around back to you and signs "A bit of an after thought...What if he decides to learn the spell, will it make them glow blue permanently or something else?"

[JuliusCreed]

Xanus says, as she examines it, "Fine leather, good weight, excellent balance." gives it a test crack in the air, "Muhuhahahahahah, yeah baby! How much for it?"
Hawk will grin, and say "Um, how much exact for this and the um teleportation?" and signs "Nice cover story...He has no clue."
Arn says, "Hawk, you don't have to pay for the teleportation. I can do that myself."
Hawk will look at him as if to say, "I'm paying, end subject!"
Arn starts tossing the blue berries in his mouth, making it a point that his brother sees him eating a few, shrugs and says "Okay, fine. Marvelous blue berries by the way. I am sure that my brother will enjoy them."
Hawk nods, and turns around back to you and signs "A bit of an after thought...What if he decides to learn the spell, will it make them glow blue permanently or something else?"

Uncle Remus grins wickedly as she tests the whip on the air. "It certainly suits you, dear. As for the cost, since you're a friend of Arn's I can let it go for say.... 5000 gold."
He glances over to Hawk with a smile. "The scroll will go for 3500... technically it's cursed, so the price gets cut and as Arn's brother I can give you a decent discount as well. Arn's also half right about the teleportation... it is free, but rather than him doing it all you'll have to do is walk out the door right there and you'll be as close as I can get you to Dragon's gate. I have a branch office in the Jungles, so you should end up there anyway. And if he decides to learn the spell, no, the added bonus won't become permanent. It'll just last twice as long."
He looks to Arn with a pleasant smile and nods. "Glad you like them. I'm quite certain your brother will enjoy them as well. They just came into season, so they're the first pick of the crop. Very sweet. Oh, and don't forget these..." Hei gives a light toss and 3 glittering amulets take to the air, one flying to each of them in a gentle arc and all shaped like little dung beetles. "... The bug repelling amulets you requested for the trip last time you were here. Keep those in your pockets and no normal insect will come withing 50 feet of you. Now, if there is nothing else, good luck to you all and be careful. It's the jungle out there." With a smile that borders somewhere between wickedly evil and strangely amused, he settles back into his chair, his cup appearring in his hand and takes a sip from it.

[pblackcrow]

"Hum, well, thank you very much." She will say, putting it over her shoulder. And gets in her bag, Arn stands back, watching in horror as she gets out her "pet" spider of 3 foot and whispers "Now go chase uncle Arn around the shop without braking anything, Hubert, while Mommy gets out the gold to pay the man." and kisses it on the back of the head.
Hubert obeys, and Arn quickly hands the blue berries to Hawk, cast fly like the eagle and flies around the shop "Get it away...Get it away...Get it away." as Hubert jumps after him.
Hawk just laughs at the spectacle.
"Here you go, sir. 2 1lb gold bar." Xanus, will say, holding open her bag she will whistle, and Hubert comes bounces back and gets in her purse.
Hawk asks, "3500? Well, I am actually down to my last pound of gold. Will you except 2 dragons teeth as well? I got them from an Alchemist in Timiro, who said in almost any land they are worth 1000 gold to any alchemist. I don't wish to go to the bank, so will it do? They are from a great horned dragon."
Arn will ask, "Is it safe?"

[JuliusCreed]

"Hum, well, thank you very much." She will say, putting it over her shoulder. And gets in her bag, Arn stands back, watching in horror as she gets out her "pet" spider of 3 foot and whispers "Now go chase uncle Arn around the shop without braking anything, Hubert, while Mommy gets out the gold to pay the man." and kisses it on the back of the head.
Hubert obeys, and Arn quickly hands the blue berries to Hawk, cast fly like the eagle and flies around the shop "Get it away...Get it away...Get it away." as Hubert jumps after him.
Hawk just laughs at the spectacle.
"Here you go, sir. 2 1lb gold bar." Xanus, will say, holding open her bag she will whistle, and Hubert comes bounces back and gets in her purse.
Hawk asks, "3500? Well, I am actually down to my last pound of gold. Will you except 2 dragons teeth as well? I got them from an Alchemist in Timiro, who said in almost any land they are worth 1000 gold to any alchemist. I don't wish to go to the bank, so will it do? They are from a great horned dragon."
Arn will ask, "Is it safe?"

The old man nods with a smile, kindly accepting all the profferred forms of payment, including the dragon teeth (can never have enough dragon teeth in an alchemist shop) and nods to Arn with a light chuckle. "Yes Arn, it's safe now. The spider's all gone now. Now, you three play nice in the jungle, okay?"

[pblackcrow]

They look at you and say, in unison, "No." And proceed out the door. Hawk leads the way while tossing blue berries into his mouth, and skin tone turning blue.
Followed by a laughing Xanus.
And lastly, a flying and smiling Arn.

[JuliusCreed]

They look at you and say, in unison, "No." And proceed out the door. Hawk leads the way while tossing blue berries into his mouth, and skin tone turning blue.
Followed by a laughing Xanus.
And lastly, a flying and smiling Arn.

The old man chuckles, slowly shaking his head as he mutters something about kids at play and gives them a farewell wave as they head out, even blowing a kiss with a charming wink to Xanus as she passes by. He then turns and heads behind the counter as a feather duster and broom come out and start sweeping the dust in the shop while he opens an old tome and begins poring over the pages.

[JuliusCreed]

Awful quiet around the store here lately so i thought I'd take a little time and work on some new stuff. Not many ideas coming to mind lately, but I've got a couple things here... see what you think

Uncle Remus' Big Book of Knowledge
Basically, a mystic tome of instructions on virtually every skill you can think of! Just open to the subject you wish to learn and study for two hours. The book will then mystically transfer that skill into your knowledge. To sweeten the deal even more, the knowledge gained is permanent!
Any skill learned from this book will begin at first level proficiency. OCC Related and racial bonuses also apply to the skill. (for example a Palladin studying a Military skill) If a skill studied is alreay known by the reader, the book will confer a permanent +10% bonus to it. Skills may only be learned from this item once, no matter how many different tomes are owned/purchased. Thus, if someone uses the tome to learn the Elven language, he cannot use it, or any other tomes later acquired, to get any additional bonuses. Attempting to do so will find the reader seeing unintelligible gibberish on that particular subject. If a particular skill has any requirements, (such as Surgeon/Medical Doctor, Astronomy, etc.) they must be met before the skill can be learned Finally, the book may only be safely used by any one person only three times. Any use of the tome by the same person after the third has a cumulative 25% chance of causing the permanent loss of 2 points of IQ and 1 point of ME. If a character's IQ is reduced below the required IQ for his OCC, or reduced to 5 or less, ALL skills will suffer a penalty of -50%.
The following skills may be learned from this tome;
Communications: Any
Domestic: Any
Espionage: Any except Sniper
Horsemanship: None
Medical: Any
Military: Any except Falconry
Physical: Juggling, Prowl and Swimming ONLY
Rogue: Any
Science: Any
Scholar/Technical: Any
Weapon Proficiencies: None
Wilderness: Any
On a final note, cross category skills, such as Languages, Literacy and Prowl, can only be learned once, not once per category, so no learning Prowl from the Physical section then trying for the bonus from the Rogue section. Cost: 1,000,000 gold and exceptionally rare, even for Uncle Remus.

Well, that's all for now, mostly because I'm pretty sleepy at the moment. More to come when my brain is working again.
Thanks for coming by! Come back again soon!

[JuliusCreed]

As long as I'm on the subject of mystic tomes, I thinl I'll take another step in that direction and see where this goes...

Uncle Remus' Big Book of Combat
Another mystic tome similar to the Big Book of Knowledge, this book also magically and permanently instills a character's mind with the skill studied. However, the skills available from this book focus on the arts of combat, including weapon proficiencies, hand to hand techniques and supplementary combat skills. The following skills may be learned from this tome;
Espionage: Sniper ONLY*
Physical: Boxing and Wrestling ONLY**
Weapon Proficiencies: Any

*If the Sniper skill is already known, the character receives an additional +1 bonus to strike with a carefully aimed shot (+3 instead of +2) This carefully aimed shot still counts as two attacks.

**If Boxing and/or Wrestling are learned from this book, the knowledge only imparts the combat skills/techniques, NOT the attribute ot SDC bonuses (thus a character studying Boxing will only get the extra attack, +2 to Parry/Dodge, +1 Roll with Punch/Fall/Impact and Boxing's special Natural 20 Auto-KO, but NOT the +2 bonus to PS or 3d6 SDC, studying Wrestling will give one the special wrestling moves and +1 to Roll, but NO PS or SDC bonuses). If Boxing or Wrestling are already known by the user of the book, it will impart the following; Boxing: receive an additional +1 to Parry/Dodge and Roll and the Auto-KO occurs on a natural 19-20, Wrestling: Body Block/Tackle and Crush/Squeeze deal an extra die of damage, a Pin/Incapacitate may be achieved with a natural 17-20 and an additional +1 to Roll

Weapon Proficiencies learned from the book start at first level proficiency. Weapon Proficiencies already known receive an additional +1 to all applicable bonuses with each Proficiency (Strike, Parry, Throw, Entangle and/or Rate of Fire) The Damage bonuses associated with the WP's Pole Arm, Battle Axe and Whip are NOT affected. WP Paired Weapons may be learned from the tome, but if it's already known, no additional bonuses come from studying it from the tome. (so don't waste your time trying)

The restrictions noted with the Big Book of Knowledge apply to the Big Book of Combat as well; No skill can be studied from this book or any other volumes one may attain, more than once, and it may only be safely used 3 times. The penalty for using the book more than 3 times differs from the Book of Knowledge though. After the third use, any further study has a cumulative 25% chance of causing the permanent loss of two points from PS, PP and PE per use. Cost: 1,000,000 gold

Stay tuned for more, guys and gals!

[pblackcrow]

A man, slim in statue, from looking at his face he seams to be in his late teens/early 20s, well shaven, wet blond hair, wearing a muddy and wet ivory trench coat, a snug fitting black turtleneck, black trousers, black socks, and muddy Jarno shoes, and is carrying a briefcase and a dragon cane has enters the shop. "Hello there, my good man," in a proper British accent, whipping his shoes on the mat. Then steps off the mat, "Would you mind fogging up the glass for a moment? I wish to cast a cleanse spell and to ask some questions about the abduction of Lady Fairchild's godson, Shawn Xanatos...You might have read about it in the papers. He is a brilliant young man, who just turned 17, and I am or was...shall we say, instructing him in the arts."

[JuliusCreed]

A man, slim in statue, from looking at his face he seams to be in his late teens/early 20s, well shaven, wet blond hair, wearing a muddy and wet ivory trench coat, a sung fitting black turtleneck, black trousers, black socks, and muddy Jarno shoes, and is carrying a briefcase and a dragon cane has enters the shop. "Hello there, my good man," in a proper British accent, whipping his shoes on the mat. Then steps off the mat, "Would you mind fogging up the glass for a moment? I wish to cast a cleanse spell and to ask some questions about the abduction of Lady Fairchild's godson, Shawn Xanatos...You might have read about it in the papers. He is a brilliant young man, who just turned 17, and I am or was...shall we say, instructing him in the arts."

The old man glances up from his work, a tiny little worm-like creature with 6 legs emitting a high-pitched squeal as it skitters away from the slightly glowing wire he holds near it. Cursing slightly, he makes a vain attempt at catching it before it leaps from the counter, sprouts a pair of gossamer wings and flits away before vanishing in a bright flash and a puff of smoke. Sighing slightly he looks to the stranger curiously and, with a brief nod, the windows darken to a pitch black color. "Done and done stranger. And I must warn you that some answers may cost you. Simple enough price though. An answer will cost you an answer. What's your first question?"

[pblackcrow]

"Thank you, Sir." and says something barley audible, and makes a motion as if to dust off his trench coat. All dirt, mud, water, and grim disappears instantly from his person and clothes. "Now than, first question...Is he still alive?"

[JuliusCreed]

"Thank you, Sir." and says something barley audible, and makes a motion as if to dust off his trench coat. All dirt, mud, water, and grim disappears instantly from his person and clothes. "Now than, first question...Is he still alive?"

The old man roosters a bushy eyebrow a moment as his eyes get a glazed over look, a strange whistling sound filling the air. Promptlythe whistling stops and his eyes clear up with a light sparkle in the stormy grey orbs. "Yes. Who are you?"

[pblackcrow]

He sighs a sigh of relief, and a bit of a smile comes across his face for a brief moment, "Oh, please forgive my manors Sir...my name is Falcon, Niles Andrew Falcon, uh the third to be exact. You might have heard of my grandfather or father. But I doubt you have heard of me. Regardless, I digress." with that the tone of his voice deepens, "What has taken him? And note I didn't ask who, but what."

[JuliusCreed]

He sighs a sigh of relief, and a bit of a smile comes across his face for a brief moment, "Oh, please forgive my manors Sir...my name is Falcon, Niles Andrew Falcon, uh the third to be exact. You might have heard of my grandfather or father. But I doubt you have heard of me. Regardless, I digress." with that the tone of his voice deepens, "What has taken him? And note I didn't ask who, but what."

The old man nods a bit with a smile as a little ball of sparkling green light starts to form in his hand. Yes, yes, the name does sound a bit familiar from back in my younger days." He peers at the ball of light for a moment before it vanishes with a tiny popping sound and a shower of sparks. "A demonic entity. How's Lady Fairchild these days?"

[pblackcrow]

Gripping his cane so tightly you believe he is going to brake it one handed, says, "I see. No doubt sent by the norma obscurum." Relaxing his grip a bit. "Aunty Victoria is heartbroken and sickened by the stress of it all as is his mother and father. Is he still on this planet?"

[JuliusCreed]

He nods consideringly, a hand absently stroking his chin in thought. "Yes I imagine they would be. The boy was proving to be quite the prodigal, wasn't he. Please convey my deepest sympathies to them when next you meet." His brow furrows a bit at your next question, seeming almost confused. "I'm sorry good sir, but considering your current location, 'this planet' is a horribly relative term. You'll need to be a bit more clear on that one." He smiles apologetically at the inconvenience, an oddly shaped glass appearing in his hand topped with a slice of pineaple and a paper umbrella. "Mai Tai?"

[pblackcrow]

Stands up straight and says, "Yes, he is quite a prodigy student, not prodigal. Although, truth be told, there are other reasons I wish to have him back safely. And certainly, I shall give them your regards." He simply shrugs and says, "Ah, yes. I figured as much when I entered. Earth, Terra, Gaea, Geb, etc...not sure exactly sure of the proper name to be honest, though it is quite the mess at the moment. With the population and economy. No, thank you."

[JuliusCreed]

His brow furrows in thought a bit asthough trying to remember something half fotgotten,and, if one were to look closely enough, yes, tinv wisps of smoke actually could be seen rising from his ears. "Ah yes, Gaia, Terra Prime, I remember the place now. No, he is not." With a slight nod the glass in his hand vanishes with a puff of smoke to be replaced ith an ornate china tea cup filled with some steaming brew. "Chamomille, then? Really calms the mind and nerves..."

[pblackcrow]

"Bugger! I figured as much, when my locate spell didn't work at the mega super nexus point in Glastonbury. Might I ask, what planet, dimensional, zone, plane, realm, astral kingdom, convoluted etheric realm, or whatever is he in or on? Please, tell me it's not the faerie realm! I would rather it be the void then that place. Unknowingly stepped into a faerie circle and spent a year there...Don't ask!"

"Now, that I shall take. Thank you." as he reached for the glass.

[JuliusCreed]

With a quiet chuckle the old man releases the cup as you reach for it, letting the steaming brew float into your hand, absently looking away at a chart covered in unintelligible gibberish and weird convoluted shapes as it twists and contorts under his gaze, finally settling into place though still complete gibberish, at least to any but him. With a satisfied nod, he settles back into his rocking chair behind him as the scene suddenly blurs and reshapes to the den, a low fire crackling in the firplace nearby, another steaming cup appearing in his hand. "I'm seeing the creature known as Wormwood as his location. The source of its fever has him." He settles thoughtfully back into his chair, slowly stirring his cup. "What were you teaching the boy that would make the Unholy take such a risk in abducting him?"

[pblackcrow]

He says, "Wormwood, eh? Congratulations, you have just confirmed my earlier statement. It is the Norma Obscurum, or Origination of Darkness if your Latin is rusty, that had him abducted. And as for the why, that is simple...To use him to obtain power over me and get revenge for the many times my family had stuck our noses into and disrupted their affairs. I suspected it was them that were behind it. As far as what I was teaching him, I already told you...The arts.", and with that he smiles. He sips the tea, and sets his briefcase and walking cane down on the counter. "I have some street maps in my briefcase and a symbol used by the Norma Obscurum. Could you mark all of the exact locations where the symbol appears on Earth in the year of our Lord and Queen Victoria, 1893? I did not wish to keep you after hours like this. I do apologize for that." Glancing at the clothing in your shop, "I see you have a selection of polo necks, may I look at them?"

[JuliusCreed]

The old man nods a bit at the drawn conclusions, brows arching thoughtfully as he listens. Glancing over the maps presented a quill pen apears in his hand as he begins poring over the pages, waving you apology away with an absent hand. "No need to worry about keeping me up, my boy... I haven't slept in...." he raises his head a moment consideringly, then shrugs and returns to studying the maps. "... well let's just say a very long time. And yes, of course, peruse at your leisure. That is why they are there in the first place, after all; to be seen and potentially purchased." With a satisfied nod he marks 4 places on the street maps and passes then back into your briefcase. "I don't suppose you have any topographical maps of Austrailia and the Middle East? There weren't many streets where the last 2 symbols were located on that year."

[pblackcrow]

The old man nods a bit at the drawn conclusions, brows arching thoughtfully as he listens. Glancing over the maps presented a quill pen apears in his hand as he begins poring over the pages, waving you apology away with an absent hand. "No need to worry about keeping me up, my boy... I haven't slept in...." he raises his head a moment consideringly, then shrugs and returns to studying the maps. "... well let's just say a very long time. And yes, of course, peruse at your leisure. That is why they are there in the first place, after all; to be seen and potentially purchased." With a satisfied nod he marks 4 places on the street maps and passes then back into your briefcase. "I don't suppose you have any topographical maps of Austrailia and the Middle East? There weren't many streets where the last 2 symbols were located on that year."

"Sorry, but no, I do not have them on me. However, I do have some of the British Empire's Maps and territories at the house. I shall have someone copy them for you, if you wish. One question though, do you have any of these in a darker shade of red, something about that shade of red pointing to a candle? If not, I will take a white one and have James dye it. Oh my, I say, is this cashmere?"

[JuliusCreed]

He nods a bit as he rolls up tyhe maps and puts them back in their place. "Fair enough, though if time is of the essence then the sooner the better." Glancing between what you hold and the candle, he gives a brief gesture, the red of it deepening to the indicated shade, and nods with a smile. "Indeed it is cashmere. Very good eye. Will there be anything else I can get or do for you?"

[pblackcrow]

"Uh, I am afraid that I don't understand these mark...How many pounds, guinieas, pence, shillings, sovereigns, crowns, etc?" holding the tag on the now deep red turtle neck.

"Do you have a legendary scroll of bi-locate? Are you willing to open a dimensional window to Shawn's exact location for 1 minute, just long enough for me to get a safe spot to grab him? And do you have any holy weapons you can sell me? And yes, I know the risks involved, the time restraint to grab him and the fact that my body will be weakened, and the fact that I can't cast any spells when I do this. For him I am willing to risk it all."

[JuliusCreed]

The old man aches a brow consideringly, rubbing at his chin. "Not certain I remember what the conversion rate is between the places anymore, but I thing about 4 pounds should cover it... As for your bi-locate.... I am sorry but I cannot bring you quite that close to him. While I pride myself on having the widest range of available brances, rivalling, if not exceeding, Terra Prime circa 109 P.A. I'm afraid the best I can do is put you in a tiny village roughly a day or two from the boy. As for a Holy Weapon..." He turns and rummages through a few areas of the shop, a bit of clanging and banging and even a bit of cursing being heard as items of every shape, size, color and other miscellaneous description go flying, rolling, dancing, bouncing or floating by, until out a a darkened corner.... "Aha!! I knew I had it somewhere..." He steps out with a bastard sword unlike any ever seen, its silvered blade glittering in the dim light. "This little beauty should be just the ticket for you. Not only is it a Holy Weapon, it was once wielded by none other than Tao-bo himself. That's right... the angel, Tao-bo whose very name is among the 19 known power words of magic. Even I don't dare wield this weapon myself without some great emergency at hand. Quite frankly, I can honestly say I've never had to use it. But, if you feel as strongly as you say you do about saving this boy... take this... Use it only if you must and even then with great care because, having never used the relic myself, I cannot tell you what it may do.. You'll find the destination I spoke of right outside the door. The direction the boy is in will be rather obvious. You can return the same way you arrive."

[pblackcrow]

"Ah, would you mind holding on to my cane and brief case?" He asked, taking the in hand.

[JuliusCreed]

The old man nods with a knowing smile as a small table gallops up to your side to receive whatever you want to drop on it, holding the sword out to you cradled in both hands like a fragile baby.

[pblackcrow]

He grasps the handle, and immediately lets out a loud groan as the point falls to the floor, as he stumbles forward, and drops the blade. Raises the index and middle fingers bringing his hand to his sternum, and says "Please, permit me to rephrase that. Would you have a holy weapon that a thin, 19 year old, such as I can use, instead of a sword that possibly Howard Smith can whiled? Preferably with out killing my lower back to do so...Perhaps a rapier?"

[TheGameMaster]

*Your old friend the Undead Hunter returns*

"Well, well, well Uncle Remus, seems things are getting a little dusty in here. Hahaha. It has been a while my old friend, how are you? I hate to mix buiseness and pleasure, but a few friends and I are about to serve a sentence for "Spying" up north. We weren't, but try getting them to belive that. Anyways, we're about to be thrown in their Gladiator Arena, They gave us all our stuff except ranged weapons. Got anything to help us out? Preferably something that wasn't obviously magical. they say they will make it harder if we start blasting spells and stuff."

[Semi-Retired Gamer]

The door of the old shop creaks slowly open. In steps a human dressed in armor. It is apparent that he has been an active member of some forces for several years; maybe not the most experienced of the mercenaries but definitely one of the more experienced. The human slowly glances about the main room of the shop and finally rests his gaze upon the counter and immediately notices the absence of Remus.

"Remus? I have need of your services. My troops and I are on our way to join the campaign against the Wolfen. Do you have anything that might assist me?"

[JuliusCreed]

The old man steps in from the curtained doorway into the dusty old shop, a sparkling blue eye sweeping the area with a wry grin as he brushes the dust of time from the shelves, the merchandise and himself. Dutifully pacing the aisles, he takes careful stock of his wares and, with a satisfied nod, heads to the front door and unlocks it, turning the sign in the window to 'Open For Business' and hobbles his way back to the hearth, a roaring fire springing to life as he settles into his creaky old rocking chair, a small table galloping up beside him bearing a steaming hot cup of tea. Taking the cup, he draws a small sip from the piping hot contents and gives a contented sigh as his glittering gaze sweeps to the door, a low chuckle rumbling through his chest.
"Hey everybody..... I'm baaaaaaaaack....."

[gaby]

A Group have come in,One like look a Bowwoman, 3 male and 1 female have the look of Soldiers,the ther leader come up to him,and said Hi,ther my team of Bounty hunters,are looking for Weapons to catch a group of criminals a alive.
Do you have any thing?

[JuliusCreed]

A Group have come in,One like look a Bowwoman, 3 male and 1 female have the look of Soldiers,the ther leader come up to him,and said Hi,ther my team of Bounty hunters,are looking for Weapons to catch a group of criminals a alive.
Do you have any thing?

The old man glances up with a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his face, a playful wink shot to the ladies before turning his attention to the group's leader with a grin. "Bounty Hunters, eh? I think I have a few items of interest for you. Might I interest you in..."

Dream Catcher: A large roughly man-sized net made from a surprisingly lightweight gold colored fiber of unknown origin. When thrown over a victim, they immediately fall into a deep, magical slumber unless a successful save vs magic is made. While entangled in the net the victim may try to escape. However, every escape attempt forces an additional save vs magic with a cumulative -1 penalty. Failing any of the saves results in the victim falling asleep. The magical sleep lasts for 6 hours, after which the victim awakens normally. Cost: 8500 gold

Serpent Whip: An enchanted bullwhip, it has two particularly nasty effects in combat. 1> When used in standard snapping strikes, the whip does 2d6 damage and victims save vs Lethal Poison or take an additional 2d6 damage per melee for 1d6 melees. 2> If used to Entangle, the whip will Constrict the victim doing 2d6 damage per melee until they break free or are released by the wielder. Effective PS of the whip for victims trying to break free is 25. Cost: 12,000 gold

Duct Tape: If it can't be fixed with this, it's really broke! Comes in 50 yard rolls. 1 yard is 1 use and has literally hundreds of applications.
1 yard: Repairs small rips and tears in fabric such as clothes, tents and sails. Restores 10 SDC to light armor or 5 SDC to heavy armor. Repairs 1 small weapon (up to 2 feet long or extremely light such as arrows, knives, throwing axes and some short swords). Mends rope or can be used to lightly bind someone as a rope (10 SDC to break)
2 yards: Repairs medium rips and tears in fabric. Restores 20 SDC to light armor or 10 SDC to heavy armor. Repairs 1 medium weapon (up to 5 feet long such as most swords, axes, blunt or ball and chain, short bows and crossbows). Mends light chains or can be used to bind someone (20 SDC to break)
3 yards: Repairs large rips holes and tears in fabric. Restores up to 30 SDC in light armor or 15 SDC in heavy armor. Repairs 1 large weapon (longer than 5 feet such as most spears, staves and pole arms and long bows). Mends heavy chains or can be used to securely bind someone (30 SDC to break).
Anything repaired with Duct Tape can be repaired normally afterward, but will take twice as long to fix and cost 50% more Tough to remove this stuff) Cost: 10,000 gold per 50 yard roll

Changeling Shackles: This is actually the name of an ancient device used centuries ago during the Changeling Inquisitions. Seeing the need to overcome the Changelings natural ability to shapeshift into a smaller form in order to escape from normal bonds, these mystic shackles were enchanted to change their size in order to fit whatever form the prisoner took. Originally, they were only capable of growing or shrinking to a size that would fit most humanoids. These are modified slightly in order to be able to grow even larger or smaller for use on shapeshifters that can take forms other than those of most humanoids. (Dragons, Demons, Deevils and the like) Ones locked onto a target, they will automatically grow or shrink to whatever size needed to restrain the form the victim takes between 6 inches up to 50 feet tall. (sizes based on a roughly humanoid shape. May be placed on either wrists or ankles of the victim. Note: As a Magical restraint, the Escape spell is ineffective against them, but the victime can still attempt to pick the lock. The lock on the shackles is rather complex, requiring a skill roll at -20%. Cost: 15,000 gold per set

Bola-cuffs: Literally a set of medium weight Shackles, specially weighted and enchanted to be thrown at a fleeing target. Sure, a standard Bola can take down a fleeing target too, but these actually shackle the target rather than just tangling him up so that you don't have to run up and shackle them yourself. (Saves a bit of time and keeps them from trying to untangle themselves if it takes a bit of time for you to go after them, like if the target's buddies are attacking you to give him a chance at getting away). The shackles themselves have NO LOCK (Magically held closed so they can't be picked) and will open only if the proper command word is spoken. The command word is set by the owner by rubbing a drop of his own blood into the shackles as he speaks the command word of choice 3 times. (the comand word need only be spoken once to open them) As these are Magic Restraints, the Escape spell is useless against them. Cost: 15,000 gold per set Special Note: Use WP Targeting/Thrown Weapons, they inflict no damage in and of themselves, though targets may take a bit of damage from the fall

Rope of the Python: Looks, feels and acts like regular rope. It's power is activated when it is used to bind someone. The more the victim struggles against the bonds made with this rope, the tighter it gets. This equates to an immediate -25% penalty to Escape Artist skill rolls that increase by an additional -5% per attempt at using this skill. Particularly stubborn people will start to take damage from the rope getting so tight if they continue to struggle (1d6 damage from the third attempt at escaping followed by an additional 1d6 per each additional attempt afterward, ie 2d6 on the 4th attempt, 3d6 on the 5th etc.) Good characters will usually warn their victims of the rope's powers after trussing them up. Evil... maybe. This rope may be made into a lasso that can be thrown around a victim and get the same results ( a lasso is basically a special kind of slip knot) The rope itself is rather tough with an AR of 12 and requiring 15 SDC damage to cut at any particular point. Cost: 100 gold per foot, Special Note: This item may also be further enchanted with the same additional abilities listed with Cherubot Rope (ie Impervious to Fire and/or Normal Weapons, PFRPG pg 257) at the same additional cost.

Stunstriker: A special weapon enchantment, tailored specifically for Bounty Hunter weapons. The weapon, regardless of type, increases the character's KO/Stun roll by +4 with this weapon ONLY (for example a required 17 or better becomes a 13 or better with this weapon) with the result ALWAYS being a Knock-Out on a successful strike. Victims are rendered unconcious for 1d6 melees. The only catch is that the weapon only does half damage in combat (PS and HtH damage bonuses are unaffected) and cannot have any other offensive enchantments placed on it. (can still be enchanted to be Indestructible or make its wielder Fire Resistant, but not a Flaming Weapon, Eternally Sharp or even have the ability to Spit Fire or Lightning) Cost: 30,000 gold

"Those should get the job done for you. If there's anything else you need, let me know." He gives the ladies a charming smile and a wink "I'm happy to be of service."

[JuliusCreed]

A flash of pale blue light is followed by an explosion from the back room of the shop, clouds of grey green smoke billowing out from the curtained doorway. Partially obscured by the smoke is a humanoid figure, shambling through the cloud and slightly hunched over as though shielding something with its body. The sound of a grating voice is heard from the shape followed by a whisper of a breeze, then the howl of a wind whipping through the cloud, scattering it like so much chaff in a gale and there stands the old man clutching something in his hands with a mischevious grin and a twinkle in his eye. Sweeping his gaze up, he looks you over and holds out his hands to rerveal his latest creation. Come closer... come and see.....

The Remote
A downright devious magical item, The Remote is an odd device consisting of a small box-like base measuring about 1 inch wide, half an inch high and 6 inches long, studded with a staggering array of buttons, switches, knobs and levers. While the complete capabilities of The Remote are still largely unknown, some of its more useful features include...
1. Mute: Infinitely handy when dealing with spell casters, simply point and press the appropriate button. Victim saves against magic at -2 or suffers the effects of a Mute spell (PFRPG pg.207) for 10 melee rounds or until the Mute button is hit again.
2. Pause: Need I say more? Hit the button and the victim simply stops. Unless, of course, they save against magic with a -2 penalty, in which case they just keep right on going. Duration of the pause is 10 melee rounds or until the Pause button is hit again.
3. Channel Changer: A dangerous feature to use. This function changes the nature/emotional state of its victim. For example using the Channel Changer on a pacifist monk could change him to a stark raving lunatic, a bloodthirsty combat machine, a pleasure seeking hedonist, a teary eyed drama queen and more. (Note; This is one of the more undeveloped functions of The Remote. In other words, it's GM's call as to exactly what happens when you use it. GM's, be fair, players be careful ) Of course victims are allowed a saving throw vs Magic at -2.
4. Volume Control: Another handy feature to have, this knob will adjust the sound level of one person to the point where their voice is locked at the barest whisper all the way up to being nearly the equivalent of a Clap of Thunder everytime they speak. Great for keeping guards from sounding alarms (reducing their voices to whispers) of for a really good bluff/intimidation (increasing your or a comrades voice to thunderous proportions) Saving throws for unwilling victims is vs Magic at -2. Duration of the altered voice is 10 melee rounds or until altered again by the Remote. (Special Note: This function cancels out the Mute button effects of The Remote and vice versa)
5. Directional Control: An insidious little feature, victims save vs Magic at -2. Failure means the user of the device has complete control over the victims' movements/actions. The controller can make the victim walk, run, crawl, flap their arms, jump up and down and more. The only thing this feature can't do is make a person talk (That's a seperate feature) Effectively, treat this feature as a long Distance version of the Puppet Dance Atemi power from Mystic China (MC pg 151) including penalties if you try to get the victim to fight. Duration of the control is 5 minutes or until cancelled by the controller
6. Remote Voice: Similar to Directional control, this feature forces a victim to speak rather than move, saying anything the controller says. Spells can NOT be cast through this feature, either by the controller or the victim (ie if the controller is a spell caster, he cannot make the victim cast a spell by forcing him to speak a magical incantation. Likewise, if a spell caster is being controlled, he cannot be forced into casting a spell by the controller even if the controller forces him to speak the proper incantation. Remember, it's not just the words that make a spell work, it's the will behind them.) Victims are allowed a save vs Magic at -2. Duration of control is 5 minutes or until cancelled by the controller.
7. Picture in Picture Display: Simply point and click at the intended victim. Victim saves vs Magic at -2 or anything the victim sees or hears will be seen and heard by the controller. Used in conjunction with Directional Control and Remote Voice features, this gives a controller a nice little dupe that may be used to gain access to areas he can't get to, steal items for the controller or any other type of mayhem one can come up with. Duration of the contact is 5 minutes or until cancelled by the controller. While maintaining this contact, the controller loses 1 attack per melee round and is -2 to Strike Parry and Dodge.
These and many other features are available on this particular item, but buyers are hereby warned! Even I am unsure of the full capabilities of this item and I am certain that there are just as many bugs, quirks and drawbacks to using it as there are benefits! Uncle Remus' Emporium of the Arcane assumes no responsibility for the loss of life, limb, sanity or reality as you know it if you purchase and use this device. You have been warned!
On a personal note, GM's this is another of those little treats I like to throw out there every so often for you to have as much fun with as your players, kinda like the Clear Whoop-Ass. Feel free to add as many features, effects, quirks, side effects and what have you to this item as you see fit. And always remember to have fun! Good luck and great gaming! Come back anytime!

[Aramanthus]

Very nice. Now I have to unleash my character in this thread.

[JuliusCreed]

Very nice. Now I have to unleash my character in this thread.

By all means, come on in! The shop is always open, though business seems to have stagnated a bit. My distinct lack of new products have probably contributed the most to this, but I always have room and time for new vict..... errr... customers

[Aramanthus]

LOL. I will have my character stop by. As soon as I get a few extra minutes to concentrate on posting him correctly. My posting name is the name of my character.

[JuliusCreed]

LOL. I will have my character stop by. As soon as I get a few extra minutes to concentrate on posting him correctly. My posting name is the name of my character.

Duly noted, my friend... welcome to the Emporium

[JuliusCreed]

Too long since I've put anything up here... Time for some new products!!

Magic Tobacco
In addition to Talespinner's Blend, Changeling Chew and Vile Chaw, we have a few other handy tobaccos for your smoking and chewing pleasure. Enjoy!
Sleepytime: When smoked, this tobacco produces a fine, aromatic smoke with a pleasant hint of lavender. Those within the area of effect, a roughly 10 foot area, must make a saving throw versus fumes every melee round they are within the area or fall into a deep and restful sleep that will last for 8 hours. After the 8 hour duration, victims will awaken fully refreshed and rested. All Hit Points, SDC, PPE and even ISP will be fully restored to maximum levels afterward as well. The smoke cloud produced by the tobacco lasts for 5 minutes before dissipating. The drawback is that the victims CANNOT be awakened under ANY circumstances, making them terribly vulnerable to attacks while they are asleep. Second, the person actually smoking the tobacco, is impervious to the effects, so the user will not gain any of the benefits of the magic sleep, unless another person in the group happens to be smoking Sleepytime as well. Then he must save like the rest. Cost: 5000 gold per ounce. One ounce is good for 2 uses.

The Cornucopia: A richly scented tobacco that, when chewed, keeps the user from feeling the effects of hunger for as long as it is chewed. It is not a replacement for actually eating real food. It only staves off the effects of hunger for as long as it is in use. A character will die of starvation if he does not eat. It also does nothing for thirst or dehydration. The moment the tobacco is spit out, its effects vanish and the character will feel hungry and need to eat. A godsend when supplies are running thin and the next supply point is a long way off. Cost: 1000 gold per ounce. One ounce is good for 2 uses

Daytracker
A rather handy device for those extended underground dungeon crawls. The Daytracker is a simple bracelet with a small sundial set in it like a jewel. Regardless of whether or not the sun is visible, such as when one is underground, the sundial on the bracelet will accuarately give its wearer the time of day it is from sunrise until sunset. Just read it like you would any other sundial. Cost: 500 gold

Enchanted Quiver
A derivative of Enchanted Bags, this is a standard quiver for arrows enchanted the same way an Enchanted bag is in order to hold a larger amount of arrows. Of course, arrows aren't the only thing it can hold, but the principle is the same. Effectively tripples the number of arrows an archer can carry in a single quiver. The same limitations of Enchanted Bags also applies to this item. Cost: 5000 gold

Aura of Disguised Scent
Similar to Aura of Non-Scent, this perfume spray actually makes its user smell like something entirely different than what they are. Comes in a wide variety of types, from beasts and animals of all kinds to other humanoids and even a limited selection of magical/supernatural creatures, including Demons, Deevils and Dragons (GM's discretion as to what types of creatures/scents are actually available at any given time) Duration is approximately 20 minutes. Cost: 300 gold per ounce for "normal" creatures, (animals, non-magical creatures, humanoids) 500 gold per ounce for creatures of magic, (Unicorn, Za, Dragon Wolf, Vampire, etc.) 750 gold per ounce for supernatural creatures (Dragons, Demons, Deevils, etc.) One ounce is good for 5 doses.

Well that's all i have for now, mostly because it's late and even old Uncle Remus needs to sleep occassionally. Thanks for stopping by! Come back anytime!

[bigwhitehound]

The door to the shop opens and a tall blonde man wearing blue, black and tan leather walks in; a long knife, almost a shot sword, sheathed on his left hip and a L shaped machine, obviously a weapon of some sort in a holster on his right. The man is quite dusty and needs a shave; but what attracts everyones' attention is the 12ft tall Troll he is leading on a thick chain. The Troll looks like hell, as if it was beaten within an inch of its life.
The man turn to Uncle Remus and says "Good morning, names Max, I'm a multidimensional bounty hunter. Do ya have a thing-a-ma-gig for finding nexus points?

The Troll shakes the chains binding it and grunts something in gobbily.
Max turn to the Troll and says "Shut up about yer rights to a lawyer, you ate a whole town of Gomes, and no you can't plead temporary insanity.
Max gives the chain a hard yank and the Troll falls face first on the floor.
Max turns back to Uncle Remus "Sorry boat that, Trolls aint got no manners.

[JuliusCreed]

The door to the shop opens and a tall blonde man wearing blue, black and tan leather walks in; a long knife, almost a shot sword, sheathed on his left hip and a L shaped machine, obviously a weapon of some sort in a holster on his right. The man is quite dusty and needs a shave; but what attracts everyones' attention is the 12ft tall Troll he is leading on a thick chain. The Troll looks like hell, as if it was beaten within an inch of its life.
The man turn to Uncle Remus and says "Good morning, names Max, I'm a multidimensional bounty hunter. Do ya have a thing-a-ma-gig for finding nexus points?

The Troll shakes the chains binding it and grunts something in gobbily.
Max turn to the Troll and says "Shut up about yer rights to a lawyer, you ate a whole town of Gomes, and no you can't plead temporary insanity.
Max gives the chain a hard yank and the Troll falls face first on the floor.
Max turns back to Uncle Remus "Sorry boat that, Trolls aint got no manners.

The old man chuckles softly at the comment, shaking his head a bit as the Troll hits the floor. "Well for the most part they don't have manners that most human folk understand them. For example, did you know it's actually rude, according to Troll mannerisms, for a Troll to show gratitude for anything short of saving his life? Anything else is simply expected of whoever the Troll is around." With an odd little smile and a short shrug he heads behind the counter and starts rummaging through boxes and shelves. "So you're looking for a 'thing-a-ma-jig for finding nexus points'? Hmmmm... well there are a few things I can recommend...."

Directional Indicator Device: A small compass like device with no traditional direction indications (ie north, south, east, west) but still has a free spinning arrow. Upon invoking the command word "acba" the owner/user states the direction he wishes to go (ie north, south, etc.) or indicates what he's looking for, giving a rough idea of how close or far and maybe a direction (ie "Find me the closest set of stairs to the north of my location" or "Where is the nearest exit?") Be cautioned on being too general in what your looking for. In the first example the arrow will point straight toward the nearest set of stairs, whether they lead up or down, that is in a general northerly direction. In the second example the arrow will most likely point to the nearest door, probably the one the character came in through. Also be warned that the device will point straight to whatever it is you're looking for, regardless of obstacles. With a little care and extra attention, the goal can be found. Cost: 10,000 gold

Or if you're looking for a little more economy I have...

Divine Rod: An odd little wooden forked stick, much like you're basic everyday divining rod used for dowsing, except this one has 3 'tines' rather than 2. Also, rather than indicate the location of water, the Divine Rod is used to indicate the closest sources of natural mystic energy, ie Ley Lines, Nexus Points and particularly powerful creatures of magic, such as Dragons, Angels, Demons/Deevils and Gods. When held like a divining rod with the hands grasping the 2 outermost tines (the third does not have to be held, but IS essential to the device working), the user then concentrates for one melee round, after which the Divine Rod will point in the exact direction of the closest large source of natural mystic power, usually ranging into the hundreds or even thousands of PPE range. The higher the PPE levels, the stronger the pull. This device cannot feasibly be used to determine whether or not certain objects or weapons may be enchanted nor can it indicate if a mortal is a practitioner of magic as it is only attracted to large sources of PPE, generally around 500 or more. Even if a mage is casting a ritual that requires over a thousand PPE, the device will still not point out the right direction to it because often the PPE for a ritual such as that is coming from several smaller sources rather than a single large one. The only other drawback to the item is that it is terribly fragile, having only 1D4x5 SDC and a natural AR of 6. If the device's SDC is reduced to zero, it is broken and no longer functions. No... it cannot be further enchanted to make it more resilient. It's power is actually a natural property of the device and enchanting the item nullifies this ability. Cost: 2500 gold

"That should about do it for you. If there's anything else I can get you, by all means, please, let me know..." He shoots a glance down to the Troll as it stirs a bit on the floor, absently twirling a finger as an ectoplasmic fog appears and coalesces around the brute, lifting it from the floor and settling it on its feet before vanishing without a trace. "You're welcome..." Looking back to Max with a grin he offers an oddly shaped glass smelling of fruit and rum topped with a little paper umbrella. "Got time for a Mai Tai?"

[bigwhitehound]

With a laugh Max says "sure always have time for a Mai Tai, just let me put grumpy pants in stop mode. Max then pulls a small box from his belt, pushes the glowing green button and the Troll suddenly goes limp. Max easily lifts it up and sets it out of the way in the corner.
Turning back to the counter Max picks up the drink says "I take the Directional Indicator Device, cheers.

[JuliusCreed]

With a laugh Max says "sure always have time for a Mai Tai, just let me put grumpy pants in stop mode. Max then pulls a small box from his belt, pushes the glowing green button and the Troll suddenly goes limp. Max easily lifts it up and sets it out of the way in the corner.
Turning back to the counter Max picks up the drink says "I take the Directional Indicator Device, cheers.

The old man nods with a smile, handing you the glass as a Directional Indicator Device hops across the counter and into a box, the box sliding over onto a sheet of plain brown paper that wraps tightly around it while a length of twine whips out around the whole package and wraps around the whole package, tying itself off in a tight knot and floating over to your other hand. Settling into a comfortable chair, the old man takes a sip from a cup that suddenly appears in his hand... or was it always there to begin with?... and gestures to a seat that gallops up past you to settle in front of him. "Have a seat, my boy! Hunting Trolls is tiresome work... is there anything else I can get for you?"

[gdub411]

Thumbs up to a very entertaining thread!!

[JuliusCreed]

Thumbs up to a very entertaining thread!!

Thank you! Feel free to drop into the shop anytime! Open 25 hours a day 8 days a week!

[Gthomas41571]

2:00am in the morning a low quite knock on the door of the shop, as the door opens ,a hooded person politely says, "my apology for my untimely arrival after hours, but my time is short... I was informed you were the person who could help me with some unusal contracts, Im looking for a varity of arrows that would help me get in to a".. the hooded figure looks over his shoulder, as if he is expecting someone... "well lit and highly guarded area to quitley silence someone.. price is not a problem, being descreet is..

[gaby]

AH group of 6 Entertainers in colorful costumes entre,A Bowman,Acrobat,Jugger,Female Jester,A Woman in short toga with a fur cape and Prestidigitor,How do you do this fair Day Good Sir,(Said the Woman in the Toga)I am Bonnie Mistresses of Beasts and my five friends here are part of a Circus heading to Western Empire,We need some Weapons that can pass off as are Show,s equipment,so we can defent are sleves fron Bandits,Monsters and Western Nobles if they do not like are Show.
We have some Gold or Maybe we Pay by puting on a show for You?