The 37th Deep Ones ASC Sea Sqaud(Paordy)

[taalismn]

"This is either a case of too much rum or not enough rum."

Let's just say it was a case of the latter over the former.

Better that than snorting reactor coolant.

[Kargan3033]

"This is either a case of too much rum or not enough rum."

Let's just say it was a case of the latter over the former.

Better that than snorting reactor coolant.

Barbra " Little Miss Sunshine " Grell a half human, half zent hybrid of questionable origin joined the UEDF navy at a very young age and was *assigned* to the Typhon after it was discovered she has an addiction to snorting radioactive reactor coolant which caused a number of the UEDF's ships to be *lost* at sea.

[taalismn]

That's not sunshine, that's Cherenkov Radiation.

[SRoss]

That's not sunshine, that's Cherenkov Radiation.

On the plus side, they haven't had to change any of the light bulbs since the Typhon's launch.

[taalismn]

That's not sunshine, that's Cherenkov Radiation.

On the plus side, they haven't had to change any of the light bulbs since the Typhon's launch.

But the geiger counters' clicking all the time keeps people awake.

[SRoss]

That's not sunshine, that's Cherenkov Radiation.

On the plus side, they haven't had to change any of the light bulbs since the Typhon's launch.

But the geiger counters' clicking all the time keeps people awake.

Kirk: "Now Morgan, if you had an engineer as talented as Welshie, he'd have fixed the problem by simply taking the batteries out of the Geiger counters, and replacing them with these old lithium batts we got free from Samsung."

[Arnie100]

Crewman #1: "You mean...we're glowing in the dark?"
Crewman #2: "Perfectly normal, if you ask me."

[taalismn]

Crewman #1: "You mean...we're glowing in the dark?"
Crewman #2: "Perfectly normal, if you ask me."

"It's the bioluminescence of the deep."
"That's supposed to be BIOluminescence, not NUCLEAR luminescence!"

[Kargan3033]

Crewman #1: "You mean...we're glowing in the dark?"
Crewman #2: "Perfectly normal, if you ask me."

"It's the bioluminescence of the deep."
"That's supposed to be BIOluminescence, not NUCLEAR luminescence!"

Well considering that the crew got such a *glowing* review it's no wonder why they were sent out into the middle of butt-f*** nowhere.

[taalismn]

Crewman #1: "You mean...we're glowing in the dark?"
Crewman #2: "Perfectly normal, if you ask me."

"It's the bioluminescence of the deep."
"That's supposed to be BIOluminescence, not NUCLEAR luminescence!"

Well considering that the crew got such a *glowing* review it's no wonder why they were sent out into the middle of butt-f*** nowhere.

Like how supposedly the Soviet Navy was dumping decommissioned nuke sub reactors off their northern coastline, rather than try to ship them to some inland disposal area.

[SRoss]

Crewman #1: "You mean...we're glowing in the dark?"
Crewman #2: "Perfectly normal, if you ask me."

"It's the bioluminescence of the deep."
"That's supposed to be BIOluminescence, not NUCLEAR luminescence!"

Well considering that the crew got such a *glowing* review it's no wonder why they were sent out into the middle of butt-f*** nowhere.

Like how supposedly the Soviet Navy was dumping decommissioned nuke sub reactors off their northern coastline, rather than try to ship them to some inland disposal area.

In case you're wondering who to thank when the mutant squid attacks.

[Kargan3033]

Crewman #1: "You mean...we're glowing in the dark?"
Crewman #2: "Perfectly normal, if you ask me."

"It's the bioluminescence of the deep."
"That's supposed to be BIOluminescence, not NUCLEAR luminescence!"

Well considering that the crew got such a *glowing* review it's no wonder why they were sent out into the middle of butt-f*** nowhere.

Like how supposedly the Soviet Navy was dumping decommissioned nuke sub reactors off their northern coastline, rather than try to ship them to some inland disposal area.

In case you're wondering who to thank when the mutant squid attacks.

Mmm plutonium flavored cavar

[taalismn]

Glowing pearls of salty goodness....the taste that stays with you for a good long time.

[Kargan3033]

Glowing pearls of salty goodness....the taste that stays with you for a good long time.

Well that's one way of putting some *pep* in your step.

[taalismn]

More like lead plating on your casket.
Google 'Radiothor' about the poor guy who became addicted to drinking radium-laced water for 'health'....but don't eat beforehand.

[Arnie100]

Crewman #1: "Why is there a huge mutated tyrannosaurus-looking thing following us?"
Crewman #2: "It's not because us glowing in the dark makes us look like food?"

[taalismn]

Crewman #1: "Why is there a huge mutated tyrannosaurus-looking thing following us?"
Crewman #2: "It's not because us glowing in the dark makes us look like food?"

"Deploy the oxygen destroyer!"
"'fraid we're OUT of the seafood chili leftovers. We used them on the mutant seaweed, remember?"
"Dang!"

[Arnie100]

Crewman #1: "We're boned."
Crewman #2: "Yup."

[SRoss]

Kaiju takes a bite of Typhon... immediately spits it sub-orbital.

[Arnie100]

While being spit into orbit...

Crewman #1: "WWWEEEEE'RRRREEEE BBBOOOOONNNNEEEDDD!"
Crewman #2: "I HATE YOOOOOUUUUU!"

[taalismn]

Kaiju takes a bite of Typhon... immediately spits it sub-orbital.

"Again?!"
"Rig dive planes for re-entry. Spool out the towed drogue parachute-anchor."

[SRoss]

Morgan: "Damn it! With ROBOTECH gone we're going to need to come up with a way to be relevant!!"

"You don't mean Fan Service, do you sir?"

Morgan: "Better! I mean aquatic power armor girls!!!"

[taalismn]

Morgan: "Damn it! With ROBOTECH gone we're going to need to come up with a way to be relevant!!"

"You don't mean Fan Service, do you sir?"

Morgan: "Better! I mean aquatic power armor girls!!!"

Armored accessory exoframes...Rifts Earth could probably pull it off, maybe even with magical concealment.

The 37th? Not so much. They may have to end up selling pirated bootleg Robotech RPG Tactics figurines....

[SRoss]

"Good news guys! After the latest peace talks, Moran has given the 37[sup]th[/sup] to the North Korean Navy!"

[taalismn]

"Good news guys! After the latest peace talks, Moran has given the 37[sup]th[/sup] to the North Korean Navy!"

"Okay, we're OFFICIALLY going pirate now."

Actually, I believe the Typhus(ah, the Rapine Stor-nevermind) actually DID once end up in the hands of one of the Korean nations (or maybe they merged after the Rain of Death) before it was sent on to the 37th.

If they get it back, then the Koreans are still going to be trying to figure out what the 37th did to the sub,(with accompanying great loss of life/limbto the inspection teams) before the 37th steals it back from them(cue shot of North Korean shipyard officers screaming at their superiors that the ship is haunted and they won't go aboard it any more while in the background figures are emerging from the waters and sneaking aboard).

[SRoss]

Random Ghost: "What, we have to set to sea with THEM!?!"

[taalismn]

"Petra, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to remove the poison spines from the lionfish BEFORE you cook them, and especially BEFORE you SERVE them."
"Then it wouldn't be lionfish SURPRISE, would it?"
"...I sometimes wonder who's side you're really on, sergeant."

[SRoss]

"Bad news guys. The Chief traded our Salt Water Condenser for porn... We'll be using salt water for washing and laundry until we can steal a new one."

"Does the Captain know."

Morgan: (On the bidet) "YEEEEE!!"

"He does now..."

[taalismn]

"...in the future, as clean as it makes the pipes, DON'T clean the internal plumbing with live steam from the reactor heat exchangers. okay?"

[taalismn]

Fun site for 37th hardware(or Robotech navies in general):
http://www.hisutton.com/

[taalismn]

"Captain Morgan? Are you SURE that hiding the Typhus in this river's such a good idea?"
"Oh come on, it's an old pirate and smugglers' trick, hiding in rivers when your enemy is expecting you to be in the open ocean! What can go wrong with this reasoning?"
"Well...what if somebody looking for some other pirate or smuggler comes looking here and finds US instead?"
"Don't be ridiculous! What are the chances of us hiding in the exact same spot as the prey of some other nut with a grudge?!"

(Overhead)"Eh-heh-heh, you damn blighter! I got you NOW!"http://www.cageyfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/murphys_war.jpg

[SRoss]

"Captain Morgan? Are you SURE that hiding the Typhus in this river's such a good idea?"
"Oh come on, it's an old pirate and smugglers' trick, hiding in rivers when your enemy is expecting you to be in the open ocean! What can go wrong with this reasoning?"
"Well...what if somebody looking for some other pirate or smuggler comes looking here and finds US instead?"
"Don't be ridiculous! What are the chances of us hiding in the exact same spot as the prey of some other nut with a grudge?!"

(Overhead)"Eh-heh-heh, you damn blighter! I got you NOW!"http://www.cageyfilms.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/murphys_war.jpg

"Sir, about that nuclear torpedo we lost earlier..."

[taalismn]

"Radiation signs ABOVE US?! What the-"
"Should I fire up the Chowder Drive, sir?"

[SRoss]

Shinji is enjoying the beach...

Cut to...

All the female 37[sup]th[/sup] members crowding the parascope.

[taalismn]

Shinji is enjoying the beach...

Cut to...

All the female 37[sup]th[/sup] members crowding the parascope.

Then the ship's Chowder Drive activates...
This is essentially a liquid-fueled rocket engine with a thrust equivalent of a pair of Saturn Vs lit off under the tail of the submarine.
In (shallow) river water, the effect is akin to a mass suboceanic methane release followed by a fuel-air explosive ignition.
'Leviathan's Fart' may sound funny as a description, but 'Non-Nuclear Godzilla-sized Blowtorch' is more exact.

[SRoss]

Morgan: "Ah, now THIS is speed! NAVIGATION! What's our position?"

"Sir! we are currently several miles inland on a steady couse for the Gobi Desert."

Morgan: "Ah, that enplanes the scraping sound..."

[taalismn]

Morgan: "Ah, now THIS is speed! NAVIGATION! What's our position?"

"Sir! we are currently several miles inland on a steady couse for the Gobi Desert."

Morgan: "Ah, that enplanes the scraping sound..."

"We seem to have sideswiped an Insurance building."
"Not ours, I hope."
"Are we with 'Crimson Red'?"
"...damn...."

[SRoss]

"Um, why is the Captain trying to climb into the torpedo tube?"

"He just found out that he's been made principle of MCH #69's new Naval Studies branch..."

Morgan: (Struggling against the rest of the crew) "OH GOD!!! CHARON TAKE ME NOW!!!"

[taalismn]

"Um, why is the Captain trying to climb into the torpedo tube?"

"He just found out that he's been made principle of MCH #69's new Naval Studies branch..."

Morgan: (Struggling against the rest of the crew) "OH GOD!!! CHARON TAKE ME NOW!!!"

Charon: "Not accepting new arrivals without reservations until my wharf gets repaired."

[SRoss]

Morgan: (Relaxing in the conning tower) "Ah Billie, tis a fine day to be at sea..."

Billie: (Pointing at the White Comet, bigger then Mars being down on the Typhon) "Um, sir!?!"

[taalismn]

Morgan: (Relaxing in the conning tower) "Ah Billie, tis a fine day to be at sea..."

Billie: (Pointing at the White Comet, bigger then Mars being down on the Typhon) "Um, sir!?!"

Morgan: "Ramming speed, and announce to them to prepare to be boarded."

On the Comet Empire flagship:
"...huh? What the @@@@k are those Earthlings DOING?!!!!"

On the TyphusTyphon:
"Sir, it's not quite as badass if you don't use an aircraft carrier to ram."
Morgan: "The Mudsucker would break apart if we used it, if we had it here."
"Good point. Oh, and it's the NukeScow this week...last week was Mudsucker."
Morgan: "When the hell are we going to settle on a NAME for that thing?!"

Back on the Comet Empire flagship:
"THEY'RE STILL NOT CHANGING COURSE!!!!!!"

[SRoss]

Kirk: "Quick! Tessa, play us a hard 180!!!"

Tessa: (Plays organ)

[taalismn]

Kirk: "Quick! Tessa, play us a hard 180!!!"

Tessa: (Plays organ)

Yeah, because you don't want to be in the same area as Pirates being, well, pirates, because they might start looking at you NEXT.

[SRoss]

Charon: "How!?! How did you end up here... With your whole crew!?!"

Morgan: "Well, Lancer fired the Fold Cannon at the Comet Empire... But then..." (looking daggers at Tessa and the crew of the Gargoyle) "Someone threw the comet into a hard 180. the shot hit the Typhon dead center... and continued on a direct line to our base..."

Lancer: "What can I say... I'm perfect."

Sera:

[taalismn]

Charon: "How!?! How did you end up here... With your whole crew!?!"

Morgan: "Well, Lancer fired the Fold Cannon at the Comet Empire... But then..." (looking daggers at Tessa and the crew of the Gargoyle) "Someone threw the comet into a hard 180. the shot hit the Typhon dead center... and continued on a direct line to our base..."

Lancer: "What can I say... I'm perfect."

Sera:

Charon: "#sigh# I supose you'll be playing your Get Out of Death card now."
Morgan: "Of course. We're pirates. We steal stuff like that."

[SRoss]

"Re-purposing this Invid Hive as our new base was a stroke of genius."

"Did you warn the Captain about the Head?"

Morgan: "YEEEEEEEE!!!"

"I think he knows now..."

[taalismn]

"Re-purposing this Invid Hive as our new base was a stroke of genius."

"Did you warn the Captain about the Head?"

Morgan: "YEEEEEEEE!!!"

"I think he knows now..."

Yeah, by this point, Morgan's taken to first sanitizing any toilet he uses by laying down a dusting flash-charge of black powder and setting it off.
He may carry a modern automatic or energy pistol, but the classic flintlock pistols still have their uses, if only as an excuse to carry black powder on his person.

[SRoss]

Loud thumps from the head...

"WHERE THE HELL DID THE TOILET GET CVR-3... AND A CUTLESS!!!"

"HELP! IT'S GOT ME! ITS 20,000 LEAGUES ALL OVER AGI..!!!"

#SQWELCH!#

"Eww, Slimy..."

[taalismn]

ntroducing a new enemy for the Deep Ones

KARL---The faceless assassin set on the Deep Ones is actually a Russian-made Poseidon nuclear-powered, nuclear-armed drone torpedo, a giant autonomous underwater vehicle developed in haste during the Global Civil War as a stealth ‘second-strike’ weapon, but which was supposedly dropped from development with the arrival of the ASS-1/Visitor. However, development simply went ‘black’, as the Russian States remained afraid of being cut out of the technological largesse coming out of the Robotech Research Group, and work continued, aided by snips of improved technology coming out of the Visitor Studies. The base developing Poseidon survived the Rain of Death, and there was some thought of retasking the weapon to attack any Zentraedi warships that might try hiding in Earth’s oceans, but the alien submarine threat never truly materialized. However, certain hardline and criminal elements in the remains of the Russian States felt that having a city-busting stealth weapon made for a useful ace card to have, a nuclear dagger to slip into the soft underbelly of enemies, and so development continued under the most suspicious of circumstances. The extra time and technology have benefitted the program immensely; the Poseidon of the Robotech universe is stealthier and smarter than its non-Robotech universe baseline counterpart.
How or who finally decided to sic the perfected weapon on the 37th remains unknown, but whoever did shows a singular lack of moral restraint. The AI managing the Poseidon is intelligent, amoral, and zealously suicidal; KARL simply seeks to hunt down the 37th and detonate its three-megaton payload of nuclear death. It should be easy, but it’s turned out to be anything but; the Deep Ones’ base isn’t where it’s supposed to be, and their submarines have continually eluded KARL just as it was about to complete its mission. KARL is becoming increasingly frustrated with targets that will not embrace nuclear death as they should!
KARL occasionally communicates via sub-radio or tapping underwater communications cables in order to get updates on where its targets might be. KARL has been known to pose, online, as EBSIS or Russian naval personnel, to get information or negotiate passage for itself through monitored waters(KARL has variously posed as a patrol submarine, submersible yacht, and various research vessels). KARL’s default voice is that of a deep Russian male, intimidating, taciturn and to the point. KARL does not chitchat or suffer fools gladly. Few people suspect that they are actually talking to a suicidal, homicidal underwater doomsday weapon on a increasingly vendetta-like mission to kill a bunch of bumbling renegade naval personnel gone pirate.

[SRoss]

Random Deep Ones Tech: "Well the good news is I've successfully integrated the vocalizer from Gypsy Danger on the Typhus!"

Morgan: "And the bad news?"

Random Deep Ones Tech: "Um, KARL has fallen in love with her..."