IceGuard Males:
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Moderators: Immortals, Supreme Beings, Old Ones
SRoss wrote:Tenchi and Shinji, wake up in their dorm room, suddenly aware of the hoards of female eyes staring at them in the darkness.
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Tenchi and Shinji, wake up in their dorm room, suddenly aware of the hoards of female eyes staring at them in the darkness.
..not having realized that, when trooping to the segregated newbie barracks, everybody looks the same in full coverage parkas, and that they have accidentally taken up residence in the FEMALE dorm...
SRoss wrote:"I didn't think it could get cold enough to freeze a Norca solid."
SRoss wrote:"Ah, Christmas. Krampus should be arriving with our yearly supply of coal..."
taalismn wrote:"Lot of high speed air activity tonight, Major Jones, sir, but it's staying clear of us."
"Good. Stand down SAM batteries, just in case...we don't want another 'incident' like last year."
"Sir? I recall we ate rather well. Venison was pretty good-"
"Stand them DOWN. That's an order."
"Yessir. at once, sir."
SRoss wrote:[
Besides, who'd want to explain to the children on THIS base why Santa didn't come?
SRoss wrote:Celsia: "More importantly, what wine goes with a Jolly Old Elf and twelve Reindeer?"
SRoss wrote:"Those poor unfortunate bastards."
"I'm sure the IceGaurd can take care of themselves."
"No, I was referring to the Shoggoths..."
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:"Those poor unfortunate bastards."
"I'm sure the IceGaurd can take care of themselves."
"No, I was referring to the Shoggoths..."
The horror is...Ice Guard didn't bat an eyelash at the request....
SRoss wrote:[
The problems start when they encounter all those environmentalists with the Save the Shoggoths placards...
Led by Annie.
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:[
The problems start when they encounter all those environmentalists with the Save the Shoggoths placards...
Led by Annie.
The last time Greennpeace showed up at Ice Guard to 'protect the mutant wildlife', the OG managed to get a nearly 30% turnover to 'Nuke the Whales!'. The other 70% wound up joining the local food chain...in the same role as arctic rodents....
SRoss wrote:[
Nothing, of course, is a match for Annie.
SRoss wrote:IceGuard Light Duty Snow Removal Equipment.
batlchip wrote:Karno: "I'm not worried about all this talk about the ice guard females."
Char: "You should be."
Karno: "Yeah, right like I'm so scared."
taalismn wrote:Damn....can yiou imagine the sort of force and brutality necessary in an Ice Guard trap?
SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Damn....can yiou imagine the sort of force and brutality necessary in an Ice Guard trap?
It been a lot easier since one of the girls figured out the formula for a coffee scent in aerosol form.
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:taalismn wrote:Damn....can yiou imagine the sort of force and brutality necessary in an Ice Guard trap?
It been a lot easier since one of the girls figured out the formula for a coffee scent in aerosol form.
Not sure if this is in reference to a husband trap or a trap set for critters that associate the smell of coffee with human prey.
So I'll err on the side of BOTH.
Of course, you don't want to Sadie Hawkins a potential mate, only to leave him unable to move and helpless to a creature attack before you can claim him and haul him to the base padre or personnel office to file a marriage license. Then again, being able to escape a trap arguably indicates good genes...but it also sort of defeats the point of the trap.
SRoss wrote:
On the other hand, Norca skin wedding gowns might be a thing...
batlchip wrote:Ice trooper:"Honey? Where is My Norca Suit?
Ice trooper wife:"What?!
Ice trooper:"Where Is My Norca Suit?"
Ice Trooper Wife:""Why?"
Ice Trooper :"Because I Need It!"
Ice Trooper Wife:"Why Do You Need It!?"
SRoss wrote:Jones: "Hello, Medical... We need the thermal pads... Yeah, someone tricked Secundo into thinking we were doing a fanservice episode... Again."
Cut to a bikini clad Secundo, frozen in a block of ice in the courtyard...
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Jones: "Hello, Medical... We need the thermal pads... Yeah, someone tricked Secundo into thinking we were doing a fanservice episode... Again."
Cut to a bikini clad Secundo, frozen in a block of ice in the courtyard...
"Can't we just keep her on ice until the spring thaw?"
"..She's a universal blood donor. Medical won't stand for her being out of commission."
"Can't we just...tap her?"
"She's a human being, not a sugar maple!"
SRoss wrote:[
"What's Spring?"
"Damn, how long HAVE you been assigned here!?!"
"I don't remember... Have we beaten the Long Tusk Tribe yet?"
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:[
"What's Spring?"
"Damn, how long HAVE you been assigned here!?!"
"I don't remember... Have we beaten the Long Tusk Tribe yet?"
"....anybody else want to ask Thog a stupid question?"
SRoss wrote:Secundo: "I just thought his quarter's seemed a little chilly!"
Vanitch: "Of course they're chilly, they're carved out of ice. How are we ever going to dry off the Commander and his stuff."
SRoss wrote:Random IceGuard Technician: (Flicking switch) "What could happen?"
The IceGuard base DeFolds on the the Breen homeworld.
taalismn wrote:SRoss wrote:Jones: "Hello, Medical... We need the thermal pads... Yeah, someone tricked Secundo into thinking we were doing a fanservice episode... Again."
Cut to a bikini clad Secundo, frozen in a block of ice in the courtyard...
"Can't we just keep her on ice until the spring thaw?"
"..She's a universal blood donor. Medical won't stand for her being out of commission."
"Can't we just...tap her?"
"She's a human being, not a sugar maple!"
Kargan3033 wrote:[
"Are sure it's a wise idea to leave her out there?, if the skeeters mange to tap her for her mutagenic blood we *might* have a problem. "
taalismn wrote:Kargan3033 wrote:[
"Are sure it's a wise idea to leave her out there?, if the skeeters mange to tap her for her mutagenic blood we *might* have a problem. "
"The skeeters would have to don parkas and crawl through the equivalent of a cryogenic typhoon and through base security to reach her before they could bite h---I'll set up the sentry guns, you get the heating pads."