Here's the first "Robot of the Waste", the Chatterbot!! Tremble in terror!!
CHATTERBOT
“I don’t know what our ancestors were thinking when they created these things. Nothing but headaches and trouble. Even if they weren’t robots, I’d destroy them out of pure spite”.
At first glance, a Chatterbot seems little more than a nuisance. But this glance would be wrong, as a Chatterbox could drive even a crazy person insane. Appearing to be a dull grey, slightly opaque orb, roughly two to three feet across, Chatterbots can be seen flitting aimlessly across the landscape, constantly displaying an ever changing array of images, each one full of unfamiliar objects and language. These peculiar little robots have been around for as long as anyone can remember and serve as a bizarre reminder to the days before the N.E.X.U.S. war on humanity.
A relic from the days before the Great Purge, Chatterbots represent the ultimate in invasive advertising. Faced with highly advanced AI programs capable of evaluating and rejecting billions of messages every second, advertisers could no longer depend on the near endless stream of unsolicited emails, junk messages, and other methods they had decades. Faced with the very real possibility of being shut out of the massive computer and social networks they had relied on so heavily for generations, advertisers took the idea of “direct marketing” to the logical extreme, creating a fully mobile billboard capable of reaching thousands of people per day. Constructed by the millions, Chatterbots were deployed around the globe. Like some metallic vermin, Chatterbots could be found anywhere people gathered: homes, offices, sporting events, restaurants, mass transit system.
Nearly impossible to ignore or wipe out, Chatterbots have somehow survived to this very day. The Chatterbots have exceeded their creators’ wildest dreams: self-repairing, attracted to people, resilient enough to last decades, the Chatterbots still roam the landscape long after their creators have passed. Their programming drives them to seek out people and display as many of their commercials as they can. While Chatterbots aren’t particularly threatening or deadly (Chatterbots aren’t programmed to fight, they are programmed to merchandise), they are attracted to people; the more, the better. Chatterbots will frequently follow groups of Splicers or humans, constantly repeating their commercial barrages. Though not deadly, Chatterbots will sometimes physically force others to pay attention to them by bumping them, tripping them up, constantly getting in their faces, etc. Luckily, the robot’s outer shell is constructed of a fiber optic-like mesh (perfect for broadcasting images) and casual contact will not trigger an immediate nano-plague response.
Though not a N.E.X.U.S. robot, Chatterbots can still pose a grave danger to humans. The constant noise and light from a Chatterbot makes any attempt at stealth impossible. N.E.X.U.S. actually leaves Chatterbots alone and will sometimes follow them, knowing the little bots are experts at finding people. A wayward Chatterbot has been the downfall of many Splicer parties and most communities have adopted a “shoot on sight” policy. Others actively hunt and target the Chatterbots while a few primitive tribes and Retro-Villages worship them as godly messengers, taking their advertisements to be the words of some divine being. No matter how many are destroyed, there always seems to be more, leading many to wonder if the Chatterbots are still being manufactured somewhere.
Model Type: Direct Advertising Robot
Class: Robot
A.R.: 6
S.D.C. by Location:
- Sensor Plate (1, top) — 30
Filament Display Screen-30
*Rear Thrusters (2) — 10 each
*Lower jets (3) — 15 each
**Main Body — 60
**Depleting the S.D.C. of the main body destroys the robot.
Speed:
Ground Speed: Not applicable.
Water Speed: Can skim across the surface of the water.
Flying: Moves by use of a complex hover jet system, 60 mph maximum speed (96km), cruising speed is typically about half, maximum altitude is 2000 feet (610 m).
Range: Unlimited.
Statistical Data
Height: 3 feet (0.9 m)
Width: 3 feet (0.9 m)
Length: 3 feet (1.5 m)
Weight: 255 pounds (114 kg)
Cargo: None.
Power System: Unknown.
Trade Value: None, except perhaps to a Technojacker.
Physical Strength: Robot P.S. of 4
Horror Factor: 8 (though this is more of a fascination; Chatterbots are not particularly frightening.
Senses & Features: Standard
Number of Actions Per Melee: Four. Chatterbots do not have any true combat programming and will attempt to flee if attacked. It’s only form of attack is a Body Block (1D6-1 S.D.C.).
Combat Bonuses (includes all bonuses): +1 on initiative, +2 to strike with a flying body block/ram, +4 to Dodge, +6 to automatic dodge, +1 to roll with impact, impervious to horror factor and mind control because it has no living mind to frighten. The Chatterbox is somehow able to self-repair 1D6 S.D.C. per hour.
Skills of Note: Basic Mathematics 98%, Detect Ambush 55%, Detect Concealment 35%, Intelligence 60%, Land Navigation 80%, Surveillance 60%, Tracking (humans & humanoids) 85%, and programmed to speak and read all known languages at 92%. Its memory and programming enables the Chatterbot to recognize humans and tailor it’s advertising to the type of human (male, female, hair color, etc.)
Weapon Systems:
1. Broadcast Display: Though not a true weapon, a Chatterbot can distract creatures and even humans by displaying bright colors, interesting images, or pleasing sounds. Anyone looking at a Chatterbot must make a save vs. mind control of 12 or higher. Failure means the individual has become distracted by the Chatterbot and will spend one round watching the advertisements. The saving throw may be more difficult for primitive or other low tech characters; GM discretion.
Guy's Notes: I'll be the first to admit this is a silly idea, yet I still got a kick out of it. I imagined a team of Splicers, creeping slowly up to a target somewhere, only to have a flying basketball suddenly appear and start urging them to buy a new Hyundai or something. I suppose not EVERYTHING in Splicers has to be big and deadly.
