Christmas Melancholy

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Kevin
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Christmas Melancholy

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Christmas melancholy

Another week is slipping away from me.

Our current (and last) auction is going well. Buy, buy, buy, won’t you? Christmas is almost here, you know.

There are some business issues that I've been taking care of and books to finish as the year quickly creeps toward an end.

We’ve been belting out Grab Bags (about 80 so far this week and Kathy tells me there are 20 more waiting to be processed for tomorrow), wrapping presents (we have a big Christmas party this weekend), and talking to people on the phone. The future for me and Palladium looks bright and promising. 2008 promises to be our breakout year, yet there is a melancholy hanging in the air.

My mind keeps wandering to friends, warm memories from the past, and dreams about the future and the people I want to share it with.

My thoughts drift to my Mom, who passed away in 1989, and to the loved ones we have lost this year. There were an unusual number of people we lost this year. Kathy’s sister, Cindy, my Aunt Lottie, and a number of loved ones lost by our friends this year. Even our darn dog Norton passed away a couple months ago at the ripe, old age of 18. We loved that darn mutt. Kathy called him the "Million Dollar Dog" (a story for another day), but really, he was priceless to us. And now Bandit, our other dog, is sick. Heartworm and a failing liver (age 15 – old for an 80 pound dog).

Funny though, my thoughts aren’t so much about loss, as they are about the joy these people (and animals!) brought into our lives.

I am exceptionally lucky/blessed/fortunate to have many phenomenal people in my life. Throughout the years, my entire life, I’ve had soul mates who have touched me and helped mold me. People who have made my life richer and deeper and more joyous. People who have helped me find my way to being a better person. And there have been a multitude of them. Yet among the very, very many eclectic people who I cherish, there are a few who stand out even among this amazing collection of wonderful friends and brilliant minds.

My mother, Florence, was the first in my life to be a profound influence and a source of joy. Without going into a long diatribe, she was simply the kindest, wisest, open-minded and loving person I have ever know. She helped shape me in ways I’m still discovering. She’s the one who taught me to dare to dream, to believe I could do anything, that life was a wonderful adventure, and to cherish the people I love. She also opened my eyes to books and set wings to my imagination.

Then there is Alex Marciniszyn. My dear, gentle, Alex. Brilliant, creative, tortured and quite possibly the most quietly tenacious and patient person I have ever know. He’s taken more guff from me than anyone, but has never wavered from my side. If I was Captain Kirk, Al was Mister Spock. We’ve been friends since eighth grade and I can’t begin to tell you about the many adventures we’ve gone through together, starting with puberty and the discovery of girls, college, philosophy, pushing through adversity and understanding the fraility of the human condition.

Then there’s Erick Wujcik. I’ve gone on record many times calling Erick a "true genius," at least when it comes to game design. Privately, I’ve called Erick a "true Bohemian" who -- rich or poor, up or down -- enjoys life to the fullest, drinks in every idea that floats his way, and loves people and life more than anyone I know. Erick is an idea factory and a force of nature who embraces people and ideas, and revels in them. He gave me confidence when I was young and insecure. (Yes, there was a time when I was insecure and timid. Well, sorta.) Nurtured my ideas, and encouraged me to take them to the next level and then beyond that. Gosh, the conversations we have had over the years. Awesome. He (along with Alex and many, many others) has also been at my side when I needed him most. A true friend in every way you could ask for.

Enter Kathy Simmons. It’s unseemly to gush about your girlfriend in public and I don’t want to embarrass her, so I’ll to be as low key about her as I must. But wow, she has endured so much, and yet remains so kind and full of life. So sweet and true to herself. So imaginative and creative. She is a tower of strength and a fountain of joy. She radiates with inner beauty, playfulness and imagination that never ceases to amaze me. I bask in her non-assuming beauty, and marvel at how that beauty can’t be held back or hidden under a barrel. It shines forth even when she tries to hold it in, touching everyone and everything around her and making them better for it. Even in the worst of times she wears a genuine smile, makes me laugh, and reminds me how small my problems really are.

Teresa Mead is another exceptional person whose inquisitive mind, goodness and soaring spirit leaves me smiling and proud to call her my friend. She has an unquenchable desire to learn and improve herself, while at the same time helping others in every way she can. She is another generous soul whose kindness, smarts and inner beauty just shines forth like a morning star.

There are many others who have touched me deeply – my Grandma, Thom Bartold, Wayne Smith, Kevin Long, Joe Bergmans, Kent Burles, Monica, Adam, and truly a host of others. Last, but not least, there is you, the Palladium fans. The greatest fans on Earth.

It's so wonderful, I often find myself wondering, why? Why am I so fortunate? Why am I so blessed with amazing, wonderful souls to help me in my journey through life? To help me stay grounded, and learn new lessons. To help me grow as a person and an artist, and to bring me such happiness. There are times, like today, that I feel like bursting with joy.

Sure, I’ve had my share of pain and tragedy. Life is bittersweet. It’s all about discovery, change, adaptation and the pursuit of happiness. Bad stuff happens that tests us – sometimes down to the marrow of our bones. Life is hard. Life can be oh so unfair. So hard. But it’s not about the challenges and the sorrows, nor the triumphs and rewards, it's about how we deal with it all, how we treat others, and how we appreciate and enjoy what we have. That's where happiness lies.

It’s Christmas and there is no better time than now to tell those you care about how much you love them. Give them that extra little gift, kiss or hug. Remind them about how special they are to you, and how important they are in your life. Don’t miss a single opportunity to tell that special person – wife, brother, sister, parent, child, friend – how important they are to you. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did and you will never regret it. Not ever. You'll be surprised by the difference it makes.

Hey, shouldn’t I be writing a book or something? I better run.

But before I go, I want to say, I love you, my friends. I appreciate everything you do and celebrate everything you are. Thank you for making me rich and content, smile and laugh, never give up and and continue to dream.

Sincerely,
Kevin Siembieda
Publisher, Writer, Artist, Friend and One Fortunate Son of a Gun

© Copyright December 12, 2007, Palladium Books Inc. All rights reserved, worldwide.

Rifts®, The Rifter®, RECON®, Splicers®, Palladium Books®, Phase World®, Megaverse®, Nightbane®, The Mechanoids®, The Mechanoid Invasion®, and Coalition Wars® are Registered Trademarks of Palladium Books Inc. Naruni, Cyber-Knights and other titles, names, slogans and likenesses are trademarks of Palladium Books Inc.
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