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 Post subject: Proverb help.
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:45 pm
  

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Hero

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:17 pm
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Location: Washington State
Comment: Twenty year player of PF.
Fifteen year GM.
Creator and writer.
All around good guy.
Okay, here's the situation. I'm looking to introduce into my campaign a character that is prone to speaking with a lot of proverbs. Like, every other sentence he spouts some saying that he thinks makes him sound very wise. The problem is, he uses proverbs that people all know, and he says them wrong (such as "That's the way the cookie bounces" or "Thats the way the ball crumbles" get it?) He might even use some that would seem wise to him, but make no sense to others. The short point here is that these things should be used for comic relief so that the others in the game can get a laugh out of them.

Now, here's the problem. I can't think of any. I hoped you guys could maybe help me out. What can you think of that I could use. Either plays on existing proverbs, or brand new ones that are just screwy enough to make this guy seem like an idiot. (In fact, he is going to be quite powerful, but he certainly won't seem so.) Thanks in advance for any help you might give. 8)

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This world is far too small not to want to see it all, but life is far too short to allow that to happen. - Falcon, Ranger (My primary hero in PFRPG setting)

"Unhand me you slobbering son of an Orcish whore!" - Ariana Moonstone, Palladin (Another primary character of mine.)

"Bastard!" War cry of Strut, Barbarian Mercenary. (That's for you James!)

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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 5:57 pm
  

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Hero

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Location: Hell
I so hope you're a dragonlance fan: Fizban.

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What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world. - R E Lee
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf. - G Orwell


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 6:19 pm
  

Adventurer

Joined: Mon Dec 19, 2005 10:50 pm
Posts: 598
Just search online for books of proverbs and sayings and quotable quotes.

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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 6:35 pm
  

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Explorer

Joined: Wed Jun 28, 2006 5:59 pm
Posts: 183
Look no further than the closest asian resteraunt. Fortune Cookies.

Or if you don't like egg rolls, look at games and movies. Many games will have quotes that would take a little modification such as "Never pet a burning dog" which was from Warcraft (I think 2) or Only fools think they will have to face (insert Necromancer)'s army but once.

The other option is to just base his sayings off of the situation at hand, sort of like a captain obvious.

"Wise man once say, he who crosses street to kick dog, should be avoided at all costs if one is a dog"

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Be swift with justice, swifter with mercy, and swiftest with intoxicants.


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 7:05 pm
  

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Priest

Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2001 2:01 am
Posts: 28210
Location: In the ocean, punching oncoming waves
Comment: "Your Eloquence with a sledge hammer is a beautiful thing..." -Zer0 Kay
1. Watch Boondock Saints lately?
2. In the old comic book Paul the Samurai there was a character named Zen Man. He was a Japanese superhero that would say zen koans, like "Who knows the water, the reed or the crane?"
Then he'd hit his opponent with his staff, while they were distracted.
I don't remember any more of his quotes, but they might be able to be googled.
3. I've always been fond of saying, "He's not exactly the sharpest cookie on the tree".

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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 10:03 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2002 2:01 am
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Location: Port Eclipse
well, these aren't quite the same, but might give you some ideas...

His mouth dropped like a TK novitiate who'd just run out of inner
strength...

From the reek of his breath he was obviously high as a Titan
Behemoth Explorer 'bot.

I was a bit rusty with Demongogian and I hoped I hadn't ordered the
Splugorth equivalent of spam.

watching the Hellfire and Iron Juggernaut go at each other like an
old married couple.

I felt like a Silhouette, fresh out of night school.

I saw the Ley Line Walker in the corner with her, trying to get her
to teleport back to his place...

on top of that have been subsisting off of nothing but Ley Line PPE
(the Psi Stalker equivalent of Ramen Noodle) for far too long,

He had an odd look in his eyes, like one might get from standing too
close to a boom-gun.

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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 10:17 pm
  

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Champion

Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2001 1:01 am
Posts: 2503
Location: my well-camouflaged lair on LI
Comment: Mondos non cogitarus, Consilium!
Reminds me of the freindly banter between the American scientist & the Soviet scientins in 2010.

Russian:"Easy as Cake."
American: "Pie. 'Easy as pie'."
Russian: "Ah, yes, easy as pie. Thank you."

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BookWyrm aka The Horn'd One
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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 10:17 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2002 2:01 am
Posts: 8916
Location: Port Eclipse
Ever since he developed Telekenisis he's been undressing me with his mind.

He was acting so weird I decided to check his scalp for MOM implants.

...and faster than you could say "juicer!"... (or "quick-flex alien")

Stay away from psi-cola, unless you like having a Simvan on your back.

Lots of troops...more arms than an alien intelligence!

I tried talking mean, but the insults kept bouncing off him like he was wearing Armor of Ithan.

...and then the Burster gave him a piece of his mind...if you know what I mean.

...does a dragon hatchling crap in the woods ?

...then he whipped out his vibroblade and had more cuts than a cyberdoc's chop-shop.

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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 10:28 pm
  

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Hero

Joined: Thu Mar 29, 2007 7:50 pm
Posts: 1016
Location: Ina-Godda-Da-Vida
not exactly what your looking for, but may I suggest the cartoon series "The Tick" (now in syndication). While not proverbs per se, but he'll spout out some of the funniest metaphores!
"Invader Zim" is also a good one to reference.
edit: And "Fractured Fairy Tales" from "Rocky and Bullwinkle" too, now that I think on it.
Good Luck

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Be at peace, my people. All shall be looked up.
Carl Gleba wrote:
My original line of thinking goes along with asajosh...
Carl

Jesterzzn wrote:
So just remember that its just the internet, and none of our opinions matter anyway, and you'll do fine. :)


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 14, 2007 10:38 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2002 2:01 am
Posts: 8916
Location: Port Eclipse
...busier than a nexus point during Ley Line Walker ritual at noon.

...uglier than a Temporal Raider.

...I don't need a hand, I need a Rahu-man!

...he zipped out of here like he'd just seen a Lanotaur Hunter.

...does a Shifter make a pact with a demon?

...does a warlock walk on water?

...more gems than a Techno-Wizard invention.

"Elemental," my dear warlock.

...thinkin' harder than a Mystic in meditation.

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"What the hell's an Aluminum Falcon ?" Papa Palpatine -- Robot Chicken, Star Wars Edition
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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Tue May 15, 2007 7:56 pm
  

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Hero

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:17 pm
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Location: Washington State
Comment: Twenty year player of PF.
Fifteen year GM.
Creator and writer.
All around good guy.
:lol: :lol: :lol: gadrin, you've got the right idea. I espcially liked "ever since he developed telekinesis, he's been undressing me with his mind." My wife had to come see what was making me laugh so hard! (That line doesn't exactly fit the character I need these for, but I'm so going to use it!) The others are awesome too! Some of them I may just use. Thanks to you all, and see if you can keep them coming. The possibilities for hilarity from this character could be endless. I can't wait to play him!

_________________
This world is far too small not to want to see it all, but life is far too short to allow that to happen. - Falcon, Ranger (My primary hero in PFRPG setting)

"Unhand me you slobbering son of an Orcish whore!" - Ariana Moonstone, Palladin (Another primary character of mine.)

"Bastard!" War cry of Strut, Barbarian Mercenary. (That's for you James!)

300 Geek Points (So Far)


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Tue May 15, 2007 10:12 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2002 2:01 am
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Location: Port Eclipse
Northern Ranger wrote:
:lol: :lol: :lol: gadrin, you've got the right idea. I espcially liked "ever since he developed telekinesis, he's been undressing me with his mind." My wife had to come see what was making me laugh so hard! (That line doesn't exactly fit the character I need these for, but I'm so going to use it!) The others are awesome too! Some of them I may just use. Thanks to you all, and see if you can keep them coming. The possibilities for hilarity from this character could be endless. I can't wait to play him!


good, been reading Wolf & Raven by Mike Stackpole, and he's got that tongue-in-cheek delivery down pretty good.

a few more will probably dribble out.

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"What the hell's an Aluminum Falcon ?" Papa Palpatine -- Robot Chicken, Star Wars Edition
Multiple Image
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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Tue May 15, 2007 11:31 pm
  

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Explorer

Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:04 pm
Posts: 152
Location: Lost in the Old Kingdom with no book to find my way out.
Don't count your chickens 'til the fat lady sings

Give him an inch, he'll gety out of the kitchen

Two's company, three's another man's treasure

A penny saved is worth two in the bush

where there's smoke, three's a crowd


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Wed May 16, 2007 10:51 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 868
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Comment: Fortune favors the bold.
People in glass houses sink ships.

Make like a tree and get the F--- outta here!



- two of my favs from boondock saints.

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MaxxSterling wrote:
Lucky is my hero. The end.


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Wed May 16, 2007 11:42 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:17 pm
Posts: 1042
Location: Washington State
Comment: Twenty year player of PF.
Fifteen year GM.
Creator and writer.
All around good guy.
twhaley wrote:
Don't count your chickens 'til the fat lady sings

Give him an inch, he'll gety out of the kitchen

Two's company, three's another man's treasure

A penny saved is worth two in the bush

where there's smoke, three's a crowd


These I like. This is what I'm looking for!

_________________
This world is far too small not to want to see it all, but life is far too short to allow that to happen. - Falcon, Ranger (My primary hero in PFRPG setting)

"Unhand me you slobbering son of an Orcish whore!" - Ariana Moonstone, Palladin (Another primary character of mine.)

"Bastard!" War cry of Strut, Barbarian Mercenary. (That's for you James!)

300 Geek Points (So Far)


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Wed May 16, 2007 12:05 pm
  

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Hero

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 868
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Comment: Fortune favors the bold.
watch boondock saints. There are a ton of them in the beginnins, from the bartender who has tourettes.

_________________
Staff Sergeant of Marines
Semper Fi
0659


MaxxSterling wrote:
Lucky is my hero. The end.


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 10:18 am
  

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Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Tue May 02, 2006 3:28 pm
Posts: 373
Location: Prospect, Connecticut
Bushy Eyed & Bright Tailed

People to Do and Things to See


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 11:28 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:17 pm
Posts: 1042
Location: Washington State
Comment: Twenty year player of PF.
Fifteen year GM.
Creator and writer.
All around good guy.
Snuffy wrote:
Bushy Eyed & Bright Tailed

People to Do and Things to See


I actually use the second one myself! But I like the first. (Adding to list.)

_________________
This world is far too small not to want to see it all, but life is far too short to allow that to happen. - Falcon, Ranger (My primary hero in PFRPG setting)

"Unhand me you slobbering son of an Orcish whore!" - Ariana Moonstone, Palladin (Another primary character of mine.)

"Bastard!" War cry of Strut, Barbarian Mercenary. (That's for you James!)

300 Geek Points (So Far)


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu May 17, 2007 11:36 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2003 7:49 pm
Posts: 868
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Comment: Fortune favors the bold.
Don't count your chickens before the carriage.

An apple a day gathers no moss.

A rolling stone killed the cat.

Birds of a feather tell no tales.

Don't put all your eggs in a gift horse's mouth.

A chain is only as strong as spilt milk.

Never judge a book by it's weakest link.

Practice makes an ounce of cure.

The grass is always greener on the camel's back.

People in glass houses shouldn't skin a cat.

Two's company, three spoils the broth.

Variety is the other cheek.

You can't judge a book, and eat it too.

_________________
Staff Sergeant of Marines
Semper Fi
0659


MaxxSterling wrote:
Lucky is my hero. The end.


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 11:52 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:17 pm
Posts: 1042
Location: Washington State
Comment: Twenty year player of PF.
Fifteen year GM.
Creator and writer.
All around good guy.
Lucky wrote:
Don't count your chickens before the carriage.

An apple a day gathers no moss.

A rolling stone killed the cat.

Birds of a feather tell no tales.

Don't put all your eggs in a gift horse's mouth.

A chain is only as strong as spilt milk.

Never judge a book by it's weakest link.

Practice makes an ounce of cure.

The grass is always greener on the camel's back.

People in glass houses shouldn't skin a cat.

Two's company, three spoils the broth.

Variety is the other cheek.

You can't judge a book, and eat it too.


:lol: :lol: :lol:

_________________
This world is far too small not to want to see it all, but life is far too short to allow that to happen. - Falcon, Ranger (My primary hero in PFRPG setting)

"Unhand me you slobbering son of an Orcish whore!" - Ariana Moonstone, Palladin (Another primary character of mine.)

"Bastard!" War cry of Strut, Barbarian Mercenary. (That's for you James!)

300 Geek Points (So Far)


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 4:01 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Fri Mar 08, 2002 2:01 am
Posts: 8916
Location: Port Eclipse
More followers than a master vampire.

I wouldn't say she was ugly, but have you ever seen a Spiny Ravager ?

More arms than a Rahu-man settlement.

So I gave her the once-over, like I had multi-optics.

Wilks, for when you want to do more than just shed some light on a subject.

I'd say the Dimensional Envelope you've got upstairs has some room to rent.

Looks like you forgot to "Attune Brain to Owner".

I hit him so hard he thought I'd cast Multiple Image.

Zembahks ? Yeah, they kinda taste like chicken.

_________________
"What the hell's an Aluminum Falcon ?" Papa Palpatine -- Robot Chicken, Star Wars Edition
Multiple Image
Image


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:48 pm
  

D-Bee

Joined: Sat Jun 24, 2006 10:15 pm
Posts: 15
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't drink him.
Time and tide wait for moonrise.
A bird in the hand is a good reason to wear gloves.
A stitch in time, is a penny.
Ask not for whom the smell bodes.
Do onto others, but not here.
Close cover before strikeing.
Niether a burrower nor a blender be.
home is where your rump rests.
the way to a mans heart is though the second and third ribs.
The show ain't over til the cows come home.
There are starveing DBees in Atlantus.
Only you can protect forest fires.
Give a hoot, don't you shoot.
Come out with your pants up.
Sorry I have two green thumbs.
Don't you write any checks your bank won't cash.
Don't cash any butts you don't write.
Don't put off til tommorow what you can do next thursday.


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 3:47 pm
  

Explorer

Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 6:13 am
Posts: 184
Location: California
Comment: Master of Dirk Diggler Style
I'm a big fan of Yogi Berra's sayings since they are so true and funny so here are some from Wikiquote:


"I didn't really say everything I said."

90 percent of putts that fall short don't go in.

A good ball club.
When asked what makes a good manager of a baseball team.

A home opener is always exciting, no matter if it's home or on the road.

Don't get me right, I'm just asking!

No one goes there any more, it's too crowded.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Always go to other peoples' funerals otherwise they won't go to yours.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

Half the lies they tell me aren't true.

He's a big clog in their machine.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I'm as red as a sheet.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.

I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

I couldn't tell if the streaker was a man or a woman because it had a bag on its head.

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat, and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?

I think they just got through marinating the greens.

Commenting on his performance after playing a poor golf game.
I usually take a two hour nap from 1 to 4.

I want to thank you for making this day necessary.
On Yogi Berra day in 1947 in St. Louis. By his account, he asked a teammate to write a speech, and he misspoke, saying "necessary" instead of "possible."

I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question.

I'd find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I'd return it.
When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.

If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping.

If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them.

If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be.

If you ask me a question I don't know I'm not going to answer.

If you can't imitate him, don't copy him.

If you don't know where you're going, you'll wind up somewhere else.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.
This has also been attributed to computer scientist Jan L. A. van de Snepscheut.

It ain't over 'til it's over.

It gets late awfully early around here.
Referring to the bad sun conditions in left field at New York stadium.

It's like déjà vu all over again.

It's never happened in World Series competition, and it still hasn't.

It's not too far it just seems like it is.

It's tough to make predictions, especially about the future.

It was hard to have a conversation with anyone; there were so many people talking.

Little League baseball is a good thing 'cause it keeps the parents off the streets and it keeps the kids out of the house!

Most of his homeruns were hit on artificial turf.
When asked why Johnny Bench hit more homeruns than he did.

Never answer an anonymous letter.

Ninety percent of this game is mental, and the other half is physical.
A variant of this:"Ninety percent of this game is half mental" is also attributed to Philadelphia Philles manager Danny Ozark

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Overwhelming underdogs.
Describing the 1969 New York Mets.

Pair up in threes.

Pitching always beats batting -- and vice-versa.

Slump? I ain't in no slump! I just ain't hitting.

Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.

Surprise me!
When his wife, Carmen, asked where he would like to be buried.

The future ain't what it used to be.

The only reason I need these gloves is cause of my hands.

The other team could make trouble for us if they win.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

The wind always seems to blow against catchers when they are running.

There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.

Think? How the hell are you gonna think and hit at the same time?

We have a good time together, even when we're not together.
Talking about his wife, Carmen. He implied he likes to have some time away, but also likes to get back together.

We made too many wrong mistakes.
On why the Yankees lost the 1960 series to the Pittsburgh Pirates.

We're lost but we're making good time.

What? You mean right now?
When asked what time it was.

When you get to a fork in the road, take it.
Berra says this is part of driving directions to his house in Montclair, New Jersey. There is a fork in the road, and whichever way you take, you will get to his house.

Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.

You better make it four. I don't think I could eat eight.
At a dinner in an Italian restaurant, when asked how many slices should be cut in his pizza.

You can observe a lot by watching.

You don't hit with your face.
Yogi's standard response whenever someone told him he wasn't too good looking.

You don't look so hot yourself.
Reply when told he looked cool in his summer suit by the New York Mayor's wife.

Yogi's teacher You don't know anything, do you Berra?
Yogi I don't even suspect anything, sir.

You have to give 100 percent in the first half of the game. If that isn't enough, in the second half, you have to give what's left.

The one you really need to have. If you don't have it, that's why you need it.
Said in a 2006 AFLAC TV commercial, so probably written for him.

And they give you cash, which is just as good as money.
Said in a 2006 AFLAC TV commercial, so probably written for him.

If you get hurt and miss work, it won't hurt to miss work.
Said in a 2006 AFLAC TV commercial, so probably written for him.

The similarities between me and my father are completely diferrent.
Dale Berra said this when asked if he took after Yogi.

_________________
You kill my dog I'ma slay yo cat-Flava Flav, Terminator X to the Edge of Panic, 1988
A man's gotta know his limitations-Dirty Harry, Magnum Force, 1973
No good deed goes unpunished-Clare Booth Luce


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat May 19, 2007 11:47 pm
  

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Hero

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:17 pm
Posts: 1042
Location: Washington State
Comment: Twenty year player of PF.
Fifteen year GM.
Creator and writer.
All around good guy.
Wow GA. If my character ever plays baseball, he's set. (Man that was a lot of quotes! They were hilarious too!) And yes, some of them are useable outside of baseball as well. I will probably add them all to my list, just because you put so much effort into it. Thanks man!

_________________
This world is far too small not to want to see it all, but life is far too short to allow that to happen. - Falcon, Ranger (My primary hero in PFRPG setting)

"Unhand me you slobbering son of an Orcish whore!" - Ariana Moonstone, Palladin (Another primary character of mine.)

"Bastard!" War cry of Strut, Barbarian Mercenary. (That's for you James!)

300 Geek Points (So Far)


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 Post subject: Re: Proverb help.
Unread postPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 12:32 am
  

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Monk

Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2000 1:01 am
Posts: 15000
Location: Eastvale, calif
Northern Ranger wrote:
snip...

Now, here's the problem. I can't think of any. I hoped you guys could maybe help me out. What can you think of that I could use. Either plays on existing proverbs, or brand new ones that are just screwy enough to make this guy seem like an idiot. (In fact, he is going to be quite powerful, but he certainly won't seem so.) Thanks in advance for any help you might give. 8)


my favorate to say is "Many hands make the heavy load light"

or you might start by reading the book in the bible named *drum rolll* 'Proverbs'.

_________________
Q's on this board need canon answers first for the question that was asked. Then you can post your own house rules listed as your house rules.
I say what the classes ARE even if the books mislabel them, so get over it.

Mostly I write out exactly what I mean, then sometimes get even more finicky.

My Artwork


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon May 21, 2007 12:50 am
  

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Hero

Joined: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:17 pm
Posts: 1042
Location: Washington State
Comment: Twenty year player of PF.
Fifteen year GM.
Creator and writer.
All around good guy.
biblical quotes in a fantasy setting. That's so simple it might just work!

_________________
This world is far too small not to want to see it all, but life is far too short to allow that to happen. - Falcon, Ranger (My primary hero in PFRPG setting)

"Unhand me you slobbering son of an Orcish whore!" - Ariana Moonstone, Palladin (Another primary character of mine.)

"Bastard!" War cry of Strut, Barbarian Mercenary. (That's for you James!)

300 Geek Points (So Far)


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