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uh... so you're saying that out nowhere, a big dick blasts you in the face

That is what I am saying. He probably thought you were a duck or a turkey.

I didn't know that Chaney was a poulipheliac!


Better watch how you respond. The Big Brother's watching!

56% You realize Big Brother is watching. You lose all of your attacks.

57% your weapon deflates

58% You get the hiccups! -1d10 on all actions until they go away. (re-roll for each action. If a skill roll, then -1d10 x 10.) The GM will decide when they go away, but it should be at least 5 minutes.

59% e clip ejection, think fast...

60% Weapon made by ACME! When you shoot, the bullet (or other projectile) stays suspended in midair while you and your weapon fly backwards inflicting half range and damage, Roll for a chance to pause for a moment holding up a sign that reads 'YIPES!'

61%: your attack misses you hit a mirror. 7 years bad luck

Night time pilot check...

Vampire Bat through the intake. you crash. On the other hand, you've killed a minor menace, so you get 100xp...

This doesn't have much to do with combat... and the vampire wouldn't die from going through a jet engine.

True on both counts, but it happened 3 weeks ago, and that player is still getting grief over the incident. I needed something, and it took them 3 hours around the table to figue out why the damage started at the front and looked like a bird strike, but lessened as the 'bird' traveled through the engine... again, I know it's not cannon vampire behavior, but it did make for amusing amounts of confusion!

I'm sure that somewhere on his little trip through the compressor blades, which I had ruled as being MDC, the bat was decapitated. In my games, most things can't live without their head, then again, getting that decapitation shot in, is very difficult... most things also tend to protect their necks...

63%- Your gun fails the PC. the PC looks down and see's a large DB wiener dog crawl out of the ground and and start barking irately at everyone. each bark shoots 1D4 swarms of bee's. the bee's quickly move in stinging everyone randomly until the wiener dog chews bee's. Each sting does 1 SDC.

64% - all of the sudden the song "it's raining men" plays loudly from the heavens. A rift opens and 1d4x10 singing fat chicks rain from the sky, clearly unaware of whats going on. if a fat chick hits a character they take 40 SDC. oh yea your gun breaks too.

65% Weapon jams or misfires, 1D4 actions to clear jam and reload

66% You swing and trip and are struck by your own blade, taking appropriate damage.

67% You loose you footing after an overswing, opponent gets a counterattack for free, automatically bypassing AR.

68% Something is in your rifle's barrel, it backfires and you take 1/2 the appropriate damage to your face. You are blinded for next 2 days and have a 20% chance of permanent blindness, or a 30% chance of blindness lasting for 1-6 months. Your PB is -4, from the horrible burns.

69% Your belt breaks and your pants fall down. The brown stains in your underwear causes your attackers to start laughing uncontrollably for 1d4 turns. The females in your party are now disgusted by it and are -2 to strike or Parry/Dodge. You have to use 1 hand to hold your pants up, and are -3 to strike, parry ort dodge until pants are resupported by either a new belt or other means.

70% Your stomach is upset, instead of swinging you vomit uncontrollably for next 1-6 rounds. You are -6 strike, Parry or dodge and -30% to all skills.

71% you stabbed and missed accidently striking yourself in the groin severing your organs, any hopes of reproduction are gone, you will die a virgin. You suffer normal damage and will bleed to death in 5 minutes.

72%: Your backflip to escape fails, landing you violently on your head. Roll with Punch/Impact; success means half damage and penalties. Otherwise, -10% to all skills and -2 to each combat roll except damage for the duration (2d4 melee rounds.)

(Only applies to a "quick draw" situation where the unlucky player rolled first for initiative before his target. Doesn't work with games where the GM rolls to-hit for the player, in which case this result feels arbitrary and unfair.)

79 - just before the player character strikes, a big green foot with gnarly unkempt toenails descends from the heavens (or ceiling) and squashes the player character into the ground. Player has to dig himself out of the hole when the foot withdraws and loses initiative as a result.

(Yes, I've done this twice.)

(Only applies on initiative rolls of 1)
You reach for your gun/sword and yank at it. You've maintained your weapon well, but it appears you've neglected its holster/sheath, because it's stuck like the dickens. It takes you a few precious instants to pull it free, and by then the other fellow's already firing.

80% - Your repressed and unyeilding love for rice pudding gets the best of you. Spend the next 2D6 actions looking for that last, lovingly hidden snacky-pack.

82% ... you've accidently snorted a small flying bug up your nose (mosquito, sand fly etc etc.). spend the next 2d4 rounds hakcing and trying to blow snark out your nose to get rid of the pest. (if your wearing a helmet your little friend got in uninvited when you first put it on)

83% - Your sphincter loses its grip and you are unable to control the outpour of a stomach bug. Spend 3d6 minutes cleaning up. -1 to strike and parry, and -4 to dodge for the duration of discomfort!

84% character's rebelious lifestyle gets the best of them and they have a fatal heart attack. Characters are allowed 1d8 actions to scream and sob, but all other actions are at a minus 10, and skills are reduced by 75%.

85% The character is struck with a sudden and shocking epiphany that the world he is living in is a construct of greater beings as a source of entertainment with the character as simply a puppet under one of these beings control. lose 1d4 attacks and for the next d6 weeks is preocupied with numbers writen on paper and is distracted by a clacking noise closely resembling the sound of dice rolling that only he can hear. -15% on all skills for these weeks.

I like it!

Mr Kent you are currently the favourite! 85%-Righteous!

85% - the screws holding the tang on your sword have come loose and, as you swing your sword, the blade flies out of the hilt and imbeds itself 2 feet into a brick wall.

Too late yours needs to be relabled 86%... You need to keep up!... here I'll change it for you...

87% ... you step on the business end of a rake, the handle jumps up and you take a shot in the apple bag. any witnesses to the event must roll vs ME to avoid pointing and laughing at you for the next d4 melee rounds.

You critically mistime the settings for the heavy fusion block, boom, and vaporise everyone around you (a rather suprised borg).

Brilliant!

01%:You get a leg cramp. You drop your weapons and fall to the gound in pain lose 2 actions
02%:Your weapon over loads, explodes, crippling that hand, requireing 1D4 months to be useable again.
03%:Your blade falls off the hilt, might want to think about punching and kicking this fight. you current attack completely misses.
04%:Joint lock, players joint (any location where 2 or more bones meet) locks in place and needs a painfull snap back in place to work proberly, 1 point damage, limb usless untill fixed, loose actions nessacary.
05%Sneeze! one of those random uncontrolable reactions to who knows what. loose current action and minus to dodge or parry opponates next action.
06%:The D-Bee water parasites that have been incubating in the lining of your urethra for the past two weeks suddenly hatch. Immediately lose all actions and become helpless due to blinding pain for the next 2d6 minutes as the newborns make their way to freedom.(Ha Ha I love that one)
07%:its a clear day out side you pull you gun up to fire and you are stuck by lightning. (if player ask questions stike him again), (contiue until he stops or character is dead)
08%:Throw your weapon over or past your opponent. 50% chance that the weapon will embed for maximum damage into a target in that direction. (It could be a party member, enemy, your vehicle, etc.) It will take at 1d6 actions to pull the deeply embeded object free, once the player can get to it.
09%:The PC has a wardrobe malfunction. A sensitive part of the body that the character wouldn't want to get damaged has become exposed. It takes 1d4 rounds to fix the malfunction. 1d6 rounds if someone else tries to help. GM's choice - there's a possibility that the enemy might need to roll against HF, start laughing, or become very friendly.
PC cannot attack while fixing the problem. -4 to parry (w/ a less sensitive part of the body). -6 to dodge.
10%:You tripped over your own two feet and Fall on your face. you lose one attack and initiative.
11%:You punched the wall (or similar solid object) and broke 3 knuckles.
-3 strike and parry
12%:You realize that you accidently grabbed your display weapon, not your real one that morning. The weapon is useless and has a 60% chance of breaking and inflicting 1d6 damage to you.
13%:You hyperextend your joint during your attack and it's going to be sore something fierce for a while, reduce damage by 1d4, strike & parry bonus by -2. Negatives last for 3 days. Better get some ice
14%:You badly miss, and are so off balance, that your opponent gets a free attack at +4 to hit. You cannot block, parry, or dodge.
15%:Shoot yourself in the foot, 50/50 chance for right or left. Don't have feet? Shoot yourself in the face!
16%:%:Your fists of fury are anything but... Your opponent has caught your hand and can either 1) Body/Flip Throw or 2) Joint Lock (Gm's Choice) without a roll
17%: You miss your intended target, but you strike is so off target that you hit the next closest ally doing double damage.
18%: you can strike, your opponent hits you in the head, temporarily blinding you. This can either be from your helmet spinning to the side, damage to your helmet that prevents you from seeing out of the visor, damaged optics, or from a nasty cut that is bleeding into your eyes. Only 1d6 damage, and repairable in 1d4 actions.
19%:bent the blade! the blade no curves off to a 90* direction. half you strike due to the ockwardness, and half damage due to that you bent your blade!
20%: Curled the blade (axes and maces things like that are immune, roll again) insted of your weapon being a nice straight instroment of destruction, it bent 5*-105* backwards (roll percentile +5) and treat that as combat penaltys as well.
21%: hand wrapping is unthreding, every swingincreses the change of it slipping from your hand. 10%+10% a swing, if it rolls under the weapon is launched 1d6+2 yards away, but also likly to hit anyone in the way at -5 damage.
22%: Your opponent does a hard parry. ie, he parrys your HAND, ARM, or SHOULDER. Take normal damage from his weapon. There's a possibility if the damage is high enough that the effected limb is disabled or severed. (GM's call)
23%: Disarmed! You strike and inflict normal damage by accidentaly throwing your weapon. You are disarmed. If your opponent is still standing your weapon is lying at his feet. (Go ahead and use this one for a ranged weapon if you're feeling goofy)
24%: Scope bite! Your dominant eye compulsively clenches closed for 1d6 rounds, imposing -4 to hit. (Only applicable to aimed shot with a rifle or similar weapon)
25%: A Heavenly Voice beckens from above and says "Bob...bob are you there?" Compeled to answer you reply, "No, oh lord, it is I (characters name)" and the voice replies "Oh" and then is gone. Lose one Attack.
26%: You remembered you Left the Iron on. Lose one action.
27%:As you Go to attack a hidden reporter in a large trench coat takes a picture of your fight with a very bright flash. the Supernatural brightness percies even EBA lose one action and -4 to parry and dodge.
28%:Someone in your family insulted Chuck Norris. Character and all family/friends are slain instantly by a roundhouse kick, plus city of birth and/or residence is annihilated, leaving a leg-shaped crater.
29%:Slugger Shock! you hit your opponate so hard and with not enough grit your weapons vibatartes so much and so hard it hurts. loose intitutive, -2 parry next round.
30%:dusty wind. all of a sudden the wind rushes up blowing dust in your face forcing you to close your eyes because of the dust and sand in them. basicly your off balance and blinded and lasts 2d6+3 rounds.
31%:kink in the cannon. your gun barrel has something in it, weither it be water or dirt it is sending your shot in a 1d12 (like the face of a clock, 12 would be straight up in the air, 6 would be down into the ground)ramdom direction untill swabbed out.
32%:Cheap peace. got to pull the trigger and the clip falls out and lands on your little toe. take a -1 to dodge and have to reload your gun.
33%:gun starts smoking, every time you pull the trigger it smoked a little more, pull the trigger 10 times it catches a blaze, drop or throw it or wait long enough, it explodes.
34%:screws come loose, basicly if you keep useing it with out repair in 1d10 uses (meaning pull the trigger, sling it, coldcock someone ect.) it is goin gto fall apart in the field or in your hands.
35%:You get boxed in the ear but good. Stunned for one round. You can't hear out of that ear at all for 1d6x10 minutes, and it rings for 1d4 days. Possible nerve damage or busted eardrum 25%
36%:Your giving all your effort trying to kill your foe, giving so much power to your blows your power now controls itself... you shart (a fart with some of natures materal waste) your underbritches! get a critcal with your current hit, but now you have some gootchie in da tooshie. take -1 to all combative rools there after untill cleaned, not to mention... you stink.
37%:weapon weekness, you go to pull the trigger and you high dollar gun putts and lets out the meekest blast ever only dooing a single point of damage.
38%:swinging away with you sword or whatever in the fury of battle, you fail to retain proper form and when you strike your foe, is twists your wrist in the worst of fassions, not broken, but you wish it were. your current attack counts as nothing, and your wrist is so painfull you take 1d4 pain damage a round and 1d4x2 everytime you try and use it for something even as simple as picking up a pencile! sometimes the pain is so sharp it will bring you to your knees!(1-33% chance per action any action) and this lasts for 3 days! and reoccures every 3 months! and bracing your wrist reduces everything by half damage and duration. surgery is not available! but doing a cybernetic supplement will cure you of the problem.
39%:same as above but with one's ankle.
40%:The PC swallows wrong, or otherwise chokes on something small, like a hair or small peice of dirt. The PC has a short bought of spasmatic coughing. The PC looses 1d4 actions, and is -4 to parry, dodge, or roll while coughing.
41%:Ahh man where did that farie come from. You miss so badly a farie in a high vantage paint began to laugh at you. As it begins to point and dance you need to make a saving throw.
42%:Before you can strike, your opponent hits you in the stomache (or equivelent), knocking the air out of your lungs. You miss, and are -2 to all combat actions or -10% to skills until you can regain your breath. Your breath is regained once you roll below half your PE stat on a 20 sided. You can attempt this at the end of each round.
43%:Divine Intervention! The PC's perfectly aimed blow stops an inch short of the target. The PC hears a divine voice in his head telling him that his target must survive this battle. All other strikes against that target must be non-lethal, or they will be stopped short. If the PC persists in trying to kill his opponent, then he'll be struck by lightening.
44%:things are not what they appier and you step in a sink hole. your let is sunk up to the knee in mud (or equivilent) and you need 3 successfull PS rolls on a d20, untill then you are stuck in one place and -1d4 to strike and dodging is -2d6
45%:Bird poop. Or some other likeness blinds the character by covering the visor or eye piece. if no helmet is equiped you just got bird poo in the eye. And that will make for one interesting story.
46%:Your character falls asleep. He collapses on the ground and wakes up 8 hours later, unless a buddy kicks you awake.
47%:A seagull lays an egg in mid flight for 150ft. in the air. It hits you square on the head, You lose 2 actions for the suprize and you take 2d6 sdc. (if player checks egg its hard boiled)
48%:You go to shoot and you get hit with an intense urge to go #2. You get stomach cramps and have to go Now!!!
49%:This time the character is hit by the entire bird (mabye it had a heart attack or something like that)(or mabye Chaney happened)
but the character takes 3d6 SDC and loses 2 actions.
50%:You miss Ha Ha
51% You go to shoot your weapon but all that comes out of the barrel is a flag that says BANG!
52% The Dodge Caliber fairey arrives and turns you into something "cute" (open a Cosmo magizine or the like to a random page to see results)
53% a 1988 Chevy Caprice falls from the sky and out comes this guy with a TW-chain saw for a hand and a TW-Shotgun and attacking every one, starting with you.
54% Chaney pops up out of nowhere and blasts you in the face.
55%Chaney falls out of the sky and lands on you
56% You realize Big Brother is watching. You lose all of your attacks.
57% your weapon deflates
58% You get the hiccups! -1d10 on all actions until they go away. (re-roll for each action. If a skill roll, then -1d10 x 10.) The GM will decide when they go away, but it should be at least 5 minutes.
59% e clip ejection, think fast...
60% Weapon made by ACME! When you shoot, the bullet (or other projectile) stays suspended in midair while you and your weapon fly backwards inflicting half range and damage, Roll for a chance to pause for a moment holding up a sign that reads 'YIPES!'
61%: your attack misses you hit a mirror. 7 years bad luck
62% you step in a golper hole, taking 1 attack to extract yourself
63%- Your gun fails the PC. the PC looks down and see's a large DB wiener dog crawl out of the ground and and start barking irately at everyone. each bark shoots 1D4 swarms of bee's. the bee's quickly move in stinging everyone randomly until the wiener dog chews bee's. Each sting does 1 SDC.
64% - all of the sudden the song "it's raining men" plays loudly from the heavens. A rift opens and 1d4x10 singing fat chicks rain from the sky, clearly unaware of whats going on. if a fat chick hits a character they take 40 SDC. oh yea your gun breaks too.
65% Weapon jams or misfires, 1D4 actions to clear jam and reload
66% You swing and trip and are struck by your own blade, taking appropriate damage.
67% You loose you footing after an overswing, opponent gets a counterattack for free, automatically bypassing AR.
68% Something is in your rifle's barrel, it backfires and you take 1/2 the appropriate damage to your face. You are blinded for next 2 days and have a 20% chance of permanent blindness, or a 30% chance of blindness lasting for 1-6 months. Your PB is -4, from the horrible burns.
69% Your belt breaks and your pants fall down. The brown stains in your underwear causes your attackers to start laughing uncontrollably for 1d4 turns. The females in your party are now disgusted by it and are -2 to strike or Parry/Dodge. You have to use 1 hand to hold your pants up, and are -3 to strike, parry ort dodge until pants are resupported by either a new belt or other means.
70% Your stomach is upset, instead of swinging you vomit uncontrollably for next 1-6 rounds. You are -6 strike, Parry or dodge and -30% to all skills.
71% you stabbed and missed accidently striking yourself in the groin severing your organs, any hopes of reproduction are gone, you will die a virgin. You suffer normal damage and will bleed to death in 5 minutes.
72 - just before the player character strikes, a big green foot with gnarly unkempt toenails descends from the heavens (or ceiling) and squashes the player character into the ground. Player has to dig himself out of the hole when the foot withdraws and loses initiative as a result.
73%Your repressed and unyeilding love for rice pudding gets the best of you. Spend the next 2D6 actions looking for that last, lovingly hidden snacky-pack.
74%you've accidently snorted a small flying bug up your nose (mosquito, sand fly etc etc.). spend the next 2d4 rounds hakcing and trying to blow snark out your nose to get rid of the pest. (if your wearing a helmet your little friend got in uninvited when you first put it on)
75%you've accidently snorted a small flying bug up your nose (mosquito, sand fly etc etc.). spend the next 2d4 rounds hakcing and trying to blow snark out your nose to get rid of the pest. (if your wearing a helmet your little friend got in uninvited when you first put it on)
76%character's rebelious lifestyle gets the best of them and they have a fatal heart attack. Characters are allowed 1d8 actions to scream and sob, but all other actions are at a minus 10, and skills are reduced by 75%.
77%The character is struck with a sudden and shocking epiphany that the world he is living in is a construct of greater beings as a source of entertainment with the character as simply a puppet under one of these beings control. lose 1d4 attacks and for the next d6 weeks is preocupied with numbers writen on paper and is distracted by a clacking noise closely resembling the sound of dice rolling that only he can hear. -15% on all skills for these weeks.
78%the screws holding the tang on your sword have come loose and, as you swing your sword, the blade flies out of the hilt and imbeds itself 2 feet into a brick wall
79%you step on the business end of a rake, the handle jumps up and you take a shot in the apple bag. any witnesses to the event must roll vs ME to avoid pointing and laughing at you for the next d4 melee rounds.
80%Your weapon flies out of your hand going into an inconveniently place china shop, there is currently a bull inside inspecting a very valuable mink vase


Almost there, sorry about the back count someone skipped 7 percents[/quote]

01%:You get a leg cramp. You drop your weapons and fall to the gound in pain lose 2 actions
02%:Your weapon over loads, explodes, crippling that hand, requireing 1D4 months to be useable again.
03%:Your blade falls off the hilt, might want to think about punching and kicking this fight. you current attack completely misses.
04%:Joint lock, players joint (any location where 2 or more bones meet) locks in place and needs a painfull snap back in place to work proberly, 1 point damage, limb usless untill fixed, loose actions nessacary.
05%Sneeze! one of those random uncontrolable reactions to who knows what. loose current action and minus to dodge or parry opponates next action.
06%:The D-Bee water parasites that have been incubating in the lining of your urethra for the past two weeks suddenly hatch. Immediately lose all actions and become helpless due to blinding pain for the next 2d6 minutes as the newborns make their way to freedom.(Ha Ha I love that one)
07%:its a clear day out side you pull you gun up to fire and you are stuck by lightning. (if player ask questions stike him again), (contiue until he stops or character is dead)
08%:Throw your weapon over or past your opponent. 50% chance that the weapon will embed for maximum damage into a target in that direction. (It could be a party member, enemy, your vehicle, etc.) It will take at 1d6 actions to pull the deeply embeded object free, once the player can get to it.
09%:The PC has a wardrobe malfunction. A sensitive part of the body that the character wouldn't want to get damaged has become exposed. It takes 1d4 rounds to fix the malfunction. 1d6 rounds if someone else tries to help. GM's choice - there's a possibility that the enemy might need to roll against HF, start laughing, or become very friendly.
PC cannot attack while fixing the problem. -4 to parry (w/ a less sensitive part of the body). -6 to dodge.
10%:You tripped over your own two feet and Fall on your face. you lose one attack and initiative.
11%:You punched the wall (or similar solid object) and broke 3 knuckles.
-3 strike and parry
12%:You realize that you accidently grabbed your display weapon, not your real one that morning. The weapon is useless and has a 60% chance of breaking and inflicting 1d6 damage to you.
13%:You hyperextend your joint during your attack and it's going to be sore something fierce for a while, reduce damage by 1d4, strike & parry bonus by -2. Negatives last for 3 days. Better get some ice
14%:You badly miss, and are so off balance, that your opponent gets a free attack at +4 to hit. You cannot block, parry, or dodge.
15%:Shoot yourself in the foot, 50/50 chance for right or left. Don't have feet? Shoot yourself in the face!
16%:%:Your fists of fury are anything but... Your opponent has caught your hand and can either 1) Body/Flip Throw or 2) Joint Lock (Gm's Choice) without a roll
17%: You miss your intended target, but you strike is so off target that you hit the next closest ally doing double damage.
18%: you can strike, your opponent hits you in the head, temporarily blinding you. This can either be from your helmet spinning to the side, damage to your helmet that prevents you from seeing out of the visor, damaged optics, or from a nasty cut that is bleeding into your eyes. Only 1d6 damage, and repairable in 1d4 actions.
19%:bent the blade! the blade no curves off to a 90* direction. half you strike due to the ockwardness, and half damage due to that you bent your blade!
20%: Curled the blade (axes and maces things like that are immune, roll again) insted of your weapon being a nice straight instroment of destruction, it bent 5*-105* backwards (roll percentile +5) and treat that as combat penaltys as well.
21%: hand wrapping is unthreding, every swingincreses the change of it slipping from your hand. 10%+10% a swing, if it rolls under the weapon is launched 1d6+2 yards away, but also likly to hit anyone in the way at -5 damage.
22%: Your opponent does a hard parry. ie, he parrys your HAND, ARM, or SHOULDER. Take normal damage from his weapon. There's a possibility if the damage is high enough that the effected limb is disabled or severed. (GM's call)
23%: Disarmed! You strike and inflict normal damage by accidentaly throwing your weapon. You are disarmed. If your opponent is still standing your weapon is lying at his feet. (Go ahead and use this one for a ranged weapon if you're feeling goofy)
24%: Scope bite! Your dominant eye compulsively clenches closed for 1d6 rounds, imposing -4 to hit. (Only applicable to aimed shot with a rifle or similar weapon)
25%: A Heavenly Voice beckens from above and says "Bob...bob are you there?" Compeled to answer you reply, "No, oh lord, it is I (characters name)" and the voice replies "Oh" and then is gone. Lose one Attack.
26%: You remembered you Left the Iron on. Lose one action.
27%:As you Go to attack a hidden reporter in a large trench coat takes a picture of your fight with a very bright flash. the Supernatural brightness percies even EBA lose one action and -4 to parry and dodge.
28%:Someone in your family insulted Chuck Norris. Character and all family/friends are slain instantly by a roundhouse kick, plus city of birth and/or residence is annihilated, leaving a leg-shaped crater.
29%:Slugger Shock! you hit your opponate so hard and with not enough grit your weapons vibatartes so much and so hard it hurts. loose intitutive, -2 parry next round.
30%:dusty wind. all of a sudden the wind rushes up blowing dust in your face forcing you to close your eyes because of the dust and sand in them. basicly your off balance and blinded and lasts 2d6+3 rounds.
31%:kink in the cannon. your gun barrel has something in it, weither it be water or dirt it is sending your shot in a 1d12 (like the face of a clock, 12 would be straight up in the air, 6 would be down into the ground)ramdom direction untill swabbed out.
32%:Cheap peace. got to pull the trigger and the clip falls out and lands on your little toe. take a -1 to dodge and have to reload your gun.
33%:gun starts smoking, every time you pull the trigger it smoked a little more, pull the trigger 10 times it catches a blaze, drop or throw it or wait long enough, it explodes.
34%:screws come loose, basicly if you keep useing it with out repair in 1d10 uses (meaning pull the trigger, sling it, coldcock someone ect.) it is goin gto fall apart in the field or in your hands.
35%:You get boxed in the ear but good. Stunned for one round. You can't hear out of that ear at all for 1d6x10 minutes, and it rings for 1d4 days. Possible nerve damage or busted eardrum 25%
36%:Your giving all your effort trying to kill your foe, giving so much power to your blows your power now controls itself... you shart (a fart with some of natures materal waste) your underbritches! get a critcal with your current hit, but now you have some gootchie in da tooshie. take -1 to all combative rools there after untill cleaned, not to mention... you stink.
37%:weapon weekness, you go to pull the trigger and you high dollar gun putts and lets out the meekest blast ever only dooing a single point of damage.
38%:swinging away with you sword or whatever in the fury of battle, you fail to retain proper form and when you strike your foe, is twists your wrist in the worst of fassions, not broken, but you wish it were. your current attack counts as nothing, and your wrist is so painfull you take 1d4 pain damage a round and 1d4x2 everytime you try and use it for something even as simple as picking up a pencile! sometimes the pain is so sharp it will bring you to your knees!(1-33% chance per action any action) and this lasts for 3 days! and reoccures every 3 months! and bracing your wrist reduces everything by half damage and duration. surgery is not available! but doing a cybernetic supplement will cure you of the problem.
39%:same as above but with one's ankle.
40%:The PC swallows wrong, or otherwise chokes on something small, like a hair or small peice of dirt. The PC has a short bought of spasmatic coughing. The PC looses 1d4 actions, and is -4 to parry, dodge, or roll while coughing.
41%:Ahh man where did that farie come from. You miss so badly a farie in a high vantage paint began to laugh at you. As it begins to point and dance you need to make a saving throw.
42%:Before you can strike, your opponent hits you in the stomache (or equivelent), knocking the air out of your lungs. You miss, and are -2 to all combat actions or -10% to skills until you can regain your breath. Your breath is regained once you roll below half your PE stat on a 20 sided. You can attempt this at the end of each round.
43%:Divine Intervention! The PC's perfectly aimed blow stops an inch short of the target. The PC hears a divine voice in his head telling him that his target must survive this battle. All other strikes against that target must be non-lethal, or they will be stopped short. If the PC persists in trying to kill his opponent, then he'll be struck by lightening.
44%:things are not what they appier and you step in a sink hole. your let is sunk up to the knee in mud (or equivilent) and you need 3 successfull PS rolls on a d20, untill then you are stuck in one place and -1d4 to strike and dodging is -2d6
45%:Bird poop. Or some other likeness blinds the character by covering the visor or eye piece. if no helmet is equiped you just got bird poo in the eye. And that will make for one interesting story.
46%:Your character falls asleep. He collapses on the ground and wakes up 8 hours later, unless a buddy kicks you awake.
47%:A seagull lays an egg in mid flight for 150ft. in the air. It hits you square on the head, You lose 2 actions for the suprize and you take 2d6 sdc. (if player checks egg its hard boiled)
48%:You go to shoot and you get hit with an intense urge to go #2. You get stomach cramps and have to go Now!!!
49%:This time the character is hit by the entire bird (mabye it had a heart attack or something like that)(or mabye Chaney happened)
but the character takes 3d6 SDC and loses 2 actions.
50%:You miss Ha Ha
51% You go to shoot your weapon but all that comes out of the barrel is a flag that says BANG!
52% The Dodge Caliber fairey arrives and turns you into something "cute" (open a Cosmo magizine or the like to a random page to see results)
53% a 1988 Chevy Caprice falls from the sky and out comes this guy with a TW-chain saw for a hand and a TW-Shotgun and attacking every one, starting with you.
54% Chaney pops up out of nowhere and blasts you in the face.
55%Chaney falls out of the sky and lands on you
56% You realize Big Brother is watching. You lose all of your attacks.
57% your weapon deflates
58% You get the hiccups! -1d10 on all actions until they go away. (re-roll for each action. If a skill roll, then -1d10 x 10.) The GM will decide when they go away, but it should be at least 5 minutes.
59% e clip ejection, think fast...
60% Weapon made by ACME! When you shoot, the bullet (or other projectile) stays suspended in midair while you and your weapon fly backwards inflicting half range and damage, Roll for a chance to pause for a moment holding up a sign that reads 'YIPES!'
61%: your attack misses you hit a mirror. 7 years bad luck
62% you step in a golper hole, taking 1 attack to extract yourself
63%- Your gun fails the PC. the PC looks down and see's a large DB wiener dog crawl out of the ground and and start barking irately at everyone. each bark shoots 1D4 swarms of bee's. the bee's quickly move in stinging everyone randomly until the wiener dog chews bee's. Each sting does 1 SDC.
64% - all of the sudden the song "it's raining men" plays loudly from the heavens. A rift opens and 1d4x10 singing fat chicks rain from the sky, clearly unaware of whats going on. if a fat chick hits a character they take 40 SDC. oh yea your gun breaks too.
65% Weapon jams or misfires, 1D4 actions to clear jam and reload
66% You swing and trip and are struck by your own blade, taking appropriate damage.
67% You loose you footing after an overswing, opponent gets a counterattack for free, automatically bypassing AR.
68% Something is in your rifle's barrel, it backfires and you take 1/2 the appropriate damage to your face. You are blinded for next 2 days and have a 20% chance of permanent blindness, or a 30% chance of blindness lasting for 1-6 months. Your PB is -4, from the horrible burns.
69% Your belt breaks and your pants fall down. The brown stains in your underwear causes your attackers to start laughing uncontrollably for 1d4 turns. The females in your party are now disgusted by it and are -2 to strike or Parry/Dodge. You have to use 1 hand to hold your pants up, and are -3 to strike, parry ort dodge until pants are resupported by either a new belt or other means.
70% Your stomach is upset, instead of swinging you vomit uncontrollably for next 1-6 rounds. You are -6 strike, Parry or dodge and -30% to all skills.
71% you stabbed and missed accidently striking yourself in the groin severing your organs, any hopes of reproduction are gone, you will die a virgin. You suffer normal damage and will bleed to death in 5 minutes.
72 - just before the player character strikes, a big green foot with gnarly unkempt toenails descends from the heavens (or ceiling) and squashes the player character into the ground. Player has to dig himself out of the hole when the foot withdraws and loses initiative as a result.
73%Your repressed and unyeilding love for rice pudding gets the best of you. Spend the next 2D6 actions looking for that last, lovingly hidden snacky-pack.
74%you've accidently snorted a small flying bug up your nose (mosquito, sand fly etc etc.). spend the next 2d4 rounds hakcing and trying to blow snark out your nose to get rid of the pest. (if your wearing a helmet your little friend got in uninvited when you first put it on)
75%you've accidently snorted a small flying bug up your nose (mosquito, sand fly etc etc.). spend the next 2d4 rounds hakcing and trying to blow snark out your nose to get rid of the pest. (if your wearing a helmet your little friend got in uninvited when you first put it on)
76%character's rebelious lifestyle gets the best of them and they have a fatal heart attack. Characters are allowed 1d8 actions to scream and sob, but all other actions are at a minus 10, and skills are reduced by 75%.
77%The character is struck with a sudden and shocking epiphany that the world he is living in is a construct of greater beings as a source of entertainment with the character as simply a puppet under one of these beings control. lose 1d4 attacks and for the next d6 weeks is preocupied with numbers writen on paper and is distracted by a clacking noise closely resembling the sound of dice rolling that only he can hear. -15% on all skills for these weeks.
78%the screws holding the tang on your sword have come loose and, as you swing your sword, the blade flies out of the hilt and imbeds itself 2 feet into a brick wall
79%you step on the business end of a rake, the handle jumps up and you take a shot in the apple bag. any witnesses to the event must roll vs ME to avoid pointing and laughing at you for the next d4 melee rounds.
80%Your weapon flies out of your hand going into an inconveniently place china shop, there is currently a bull inside inspecting a very valuable mink vase


Almost there, sorry about the back count someone skipped 7 percents[/quote]

88% You decide halfway through your swing that your Rouge Scholor hand to had training might not be all you need to defeat the balrog, and run away screaming.

81%

you blast away and hit absolutely nothing, han solo is disappointed

82%: Cow from Space falls and merely disarms you.

Roll to save against soiling yourself in fright from the NCE.

83%- Your cybernetic arm/leg/(insert body part here) malfunctions and falls off. -5 to strike parry and dodge, and other applicable minuses...

84% You should have zigged when you zagged, next action you get between next attack from closest ally and his target, get hit, and cause ally to lose 3 actions if of good alignment due to feeling bad, 2 if of selfish alignments, 1 if evil, and GAIN 1 if Diabolic. (friends are rare for them anyways... ever wonder why?).

85% If no ally is around to intercept his blade or bullet, then when moving the wrong way, step on small debris, lose balance and fall backwards into the loving embrace of the enemy, causes enemy to lose weapon if of "human" thought, most will react by catching falling objects out of instinct. However, there are always instances that this wouldnt apply a CS grunt isnt going to catch a Cyborg... hopefully ^_^ ... but the NPC can take approprate measures to make your life less amusing. (side note, berserkers armor from Pallidium with all the spikes would make this ... bad...)

86% Your pants fall from your waist, revealing much more than the enemy wanted to see. You drop your weapon and hastily pull up your pants, hoping that nobody noticed the effect of a freak welding accident on a certain region.

87% You have a spontaneous nosebleed.

88%

Your attack seemed on target but foes perfect defense causes damage to you weapon. ie projectile reflected back at weapon, hard parry to flat of blade, solid block of unarmed swing etc etc.

Roll damage as per normal and apply it to your weapon.

89% Your wild miss leaves target open for attack. +2 to hit for next attack on him if attack occurs before targets next action or yours. If no one attacks him he gets +2 on his next attack on you.

90%- If H2H - Your strike misses where you intended to hit and gets stuck
on your opponets gear/armor/fleshy sacs or whatever. Lose all
remaining attacks and take 1D4 dmg. Opponet you are stuck to
gains an extra attack on charachter and is +5 to do so for this turn.

Ranged - The shot ricochets back at you and hits, but you suffer no
damage! Too bad your pack, belt, or other nifty gear toting
accsessory is severed and 1D10 random contents of your gear trail
behind you.

91%

A sudden urge to make a bowel movement cramps the character up, preventing this attack and the rest of his attacks this turn with extreme pain in his abdomen.

The next melee round, all OTHER characters within a 4 foot (1 meter) radius are affected by stench, making them -5% on all skills and giving a -1 to strike, parry and dodge.

If he does not relieve himself in 1d4 melee rounds, the urge becomes to powerful to control and the character unfortunately soils himself. Until relieving or soiling, the character is -2 to strike, parry and dodge and loses one attack per melee.

Remember... a true hero will fight on.

92% Roll 1d20 on appropriate table:

If Hand to Hand
Roll 1d20 Results
1 Fall on weapon take appropriate damage. Hand attack, break arm in fall. (GM apply penalties)
2 Suffers a hand wound, causing anything in hand to be dropped reflexively.
3 Tripped, fall down. Loose initiative
4 Bad parry, arm stunned 50% chance loosing weapon in hand.
5 Opponent throws/ wind blows dirt/mud in face/face plate. Loose next action.
6 Distracted for that one moment, got clobbered. Stunned for 1d4 melees. Loose initative.
7 Step in slippery dung. Roll balance check at –30%. Loose initative.
8 Last hit is catching up with you, blurred vision at –5 to strike for 1d4 melees.
9 Agitated hornet’s nest (in ground or tree). Hornets are attacking all in 20-foot radius.
10 Your hand held weapon is stuck in opponent or his gear. If hand only attack, broke 1d4 fingers on impact
11 Swing so hard with weapon/fist you pull your shoulder muscle. (GM apply penalties)
12 Your anger got the best of you. You go into a rage attacking all living creatures, friends and foes alike, in a 20-foot radius for 1d4+2 melees. –3 to strike, dodge, parry.
13 Swung so hard and missed, weapon went flying 1d20+5 feet away. Hand attack, dislocated elbow.
14 Just plain fell flat on your backside. Loose initiative.
15 Bad sprain, lose use of random limb for 1d6 days.
16 Stepped on uneven ground, stumbled, fell with leg under you, dislocated knee. (GM apply penalties)
17 You are just plain having a bad day/run of luck. All your actions for the rest of this encounter are at –5/-20% as per appropriate roll.
18 Swing so hard with weapon/fist you miss and spin around. Back is now to opponent.
19 Your nose begins to get that irresistible itch. Loose one attack/action to scratch.
20 Your attack missed so bad your opponent gets an immediate free attack that you cannot dodge, parry or roll with.

Automatic Handguns, Rifles & Machine Guns Magazine Fed
Roll1D20 Result
1 Explodes
2 Magazine Fell out
3 Did Not Chamber a Round
4 Barrel Splits
5 Hand Guards/Stock Break & Fall Off
6 Fires, Nothing Happened
7 Dropped It
8 Failed to Load It
9 Trigger Stuck
10 Jammed
11 Falls Apart
12 Muzzle End Explodes
13 Trigger Breaks
14 Wrong Caliber Ammunition
15 Forgot the Safety Was On
16 Sneezed Violently as Trigger Was Pulled
17 Loaded With Blanks
18 Hammer/Slide Stuck
19 Ammunition is No Good
20 Out of Control, Fires ALL Ammunition

Revolver Handguns
Roll1D20 Result
1 Explodes
2 Cylinder Fell Open, Bullets Fell Out
3 Cylinder Did Not Rotate
4 Barrel Splits
5 Hand Guards Break & Fall Off
6 Fires, Nothing Happened
7 Dropped It
8 Failed to Load It
9 Trigger Stuck
10 Hammer Jammed
11 Falls Apart
12 Muzzle End Explodes
13 Cylinder Falls Off
14 Wrong Caliber Ammunition
15 Barrel Falls Off
16 Sneezed Violently as Trigger Was Pulled
17 Loaded With Blanks
18 Trigger Breaks
19 Ammunition is No Good
20 Out of Control, Fires ALL Ammunition

All Bolt Action Weapons
Roll1D20 Result
1 Explodes
2 Bolt Breaks
3 Did Not Chamber a Round
4 Barrel Splits
5 Stock Falls Off
6 Fires, Nothing Happened
7 Dropped It
8 Failed to Load It
9 Trigger Stuck
10 Bolt Jammed
11 Falls Apart
12 Muzzle End Explodes
13 Stock Breaks
14 Wrong Caliber Ammunition
15 Barrel Falls Off
16 Sneezed Violently as Trigger Was Pulled
17 Loaded With Blanks
18 Trigger Breaks
19 Ammunition is No Good
20 Bolt Lever Broke off

Handheld Belt Fed Machine Guns
Roll1D20 Result
1 Explodes
2 Receiver Cover Pops Open
3 Belt Did Not Feed
4 Barrel Splits
5 Pistol Grip Breaks & Falls Off
6 Fires, Nothing Happened
7 Dropped It
8 Failed to Load It
9 Trigger Stuck
10 Belt Jammed
11 Falls Apart
12 Muzzle End Explodes
13 Belt Fell Out
14 Wrong Caliber Ammunition
15 Barrel Falls Off
16 Sneezed Violently as Trigger Was Pulled
17 Loaded With Blanks
18 Trigger Breaks
19 Ammunition is No Good
20 Out of Control, Fires ALL Ammunition

Tripod Mounted/Fixed Position Belt Fed Machine Guns
Roll1D20 Result
1 Explodes
2 Receiver Cover Pops Open
3 Belt Did Not Feed
4 Barrel Splits
5 Falls Off Tripod/Mount
6 Fires, Nothing Happened
7 Knocked It Over
8 Failed to Load It
9 Trigger Stuck
10 Belt Jammed
11 Falls Apart
12 Muzzle End Explodes
13 Belt Fell Out
14 Wrong Caliber Ammunition
15 Barrel Falls Off
16 Sneezed Violently as Trigger Was Pulled
17 Loaded With Blanks
18 Pistol Grip Breaks
19 Ammunition is No Good
20 Out of Control, Fires ALL Ammunition

All Hand Grenades (Live, Unless Noted Otherwise)
Roll1D20 Result
1 Explodes Immediately
2 Threw Straight Up 1D20 Feet
3 Fell Short of Target, No Damage to Target
4 Pin Already Pulled, Snagged on Your Equipment
5 Dropped it, Rolled 1D20 Feet to Left
6 A Playful Dog in Area Brings it Back to You
7 Threw Pulled Pin, Kept Grenade
8 Dropped it, Rolled 1D20 Feet to Front
9 Went Long of Target, No Damage to Target
10 Fell Apart & Explodes Only Half Damage
11 Dropped it, Rolled 1D20 Feet to Right
12 Was Thrown/Bounced Back to You
13 Partial Dud Only 25% Damage
14 Threw with Pin in (Not Live)
15 Dropped it, Rolled 1D20 Feet to Rear
16 Sneezed Violently as You Threw it
17 Fell Apart (Not Live)
18 Grenade Fizzles, No Explosion
19 Dropped it at Your Feet
20 Dud

Laser Type Weapons
Roll1D20 Result
1 Explodes Immediately
2 Pulled Trigger and Power Source Drains to Zero
3 Barrel End Explodes
4 Did Not Cycle to Fire
5 Barrel Splits
6 Pistol Grip/Stock Break & Fall Off
7 Fires, Nothing Happened
8 Dropped It
9 Failed to Charge/Load It
10 Trigger Stuck
11 Jammed
12 Falls Apart
13 Fails to Fire, Power Overload, Explodes in..??
14 Trigger Breaks
15 Pulled Trigger and Barrel Melts
16 Forgot the Safety Was On
17 Sneezed Violently as Trigger Was Pulled
18 Blinding Flash of Light, Weapon Gone
19 Pulled Trigger, Heating Up Quickly to Red Hot
20 Out of Control, Fires ALL Charges

You forgot Hand to Hand!

I know, working on it. Thanks, Big Bob..........

Added Hand to Hand table to 92%.

how about this for guns and melee weapons in general.

93% acting in a macho-manish way, you beat your chest with said weapon (or hands) and your MDC armor chest plating falls to the ground exposing your SDC body. (if MDC Creatur then takes 2D4 in damage from pounding chest). in shock you fire your gun off in the air by accident and you now roll percentile to see what happens next. 01%-33% you drop your gun ,34%-66% you flung you gun in spastic manor, 67%-99% your gun stays in your hand but is now jamed, 100% your gun explodes doing 1D6 in 10 meter radius.

it has to suck to be that unlucky....

you forgot to change your e clip and it is empty loss of current action and 1 more to change the clip
your finger accidentally brushes the clip eject button ( it happened to me in real life once with a colt .45.. funny as hell now ) and the clip falls to the ground.
the recoil is greater than you expected causing the weapon to kick back and smack you in the forhead, causing temporary blindness due to tears freely flowing. 2 actions to recover.
you sneeze suddenly causing you to squeeze the trigger a split second before your aim os on target, % roll to see if you hit ally, enemy, or nothing


given time i will come up with more of them

(in my gave a charracter from rifts being brought into our heroes game popped through a fluctuating rift into the brick (a furniture store) he proceeded to after chaining up the nearby employee's. To throw the entire contents of the store through the randomly fluctuating rift.) (ive used it to save a well liked pc's life as well as cripple a powerfull ship the pc's stole)
Suddenly the ugliest mauve and lime green couch you've ever seen come flying (1-50% at you, 51-90 in between you and your apponent Causing you to miss, 91-95% hits you enought to disarm you or knock you off balance (what ever's apropriate), 96-99 hits you doing twice what your attack would have been or 1d6*10+10(which ever is greater), 100 automaticly stuns you doing 70 dam to you head (if still alive save versus ko)). all party's in volved pc's and npc must make a save versus mental stun/bewilderment 15 or better with me bonus's. Or lose the inti and 1 attack.
(at last count theres still about 8046 random peice's of furniture flying about the megaverse.

Huh? You lost me a the bakery. Is this stereo instructions? Yeah that's it, isn't?