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Unread postPosted: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:44 pm
  

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Palladin

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taalismn wrote:
Meanwhile, in nearby space:

NON Senior Reporter: "Oh great, I don't mind being rescued from falling into atmosphere in uncontrolled entry, but this MegaMaid Atmo-Hoover Scoops don't exactly allow us to see what's happening outside..."

Alien Voice: "Hail, New visiotors from beyond the Bag!"

NON Junior Reporter: "Err...sir...do we know how often MegaMaid Services empties out their debris bins?...That looks like a CITY over there..."


:lol: Another great one! :lol: AND 50 PAGES! ITS ALIVE!!!!!!!


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Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:26 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Wow! How can I not be here when it's the fiftieth page?!



I could almost see the descriptions for CK RotaRuter....

RotaRuter, RotaRuter, Champion of all tri-galactic domestic victims!
When he comes at you, you will know his plunger! All who commit plumbing crimes, beware of his Plunger, beware of him RotaRuter!!!!!


Yes, indeed, nothing like getting drunk in the company of friends to make you wish you'd boobytrapped your wallet...

As for RotaRuter, Practitioner of the Underrated Martial Art of Megacosmic Plumbing, I see a bold future ahead of him as one of the more tool-oriented CosmoKnights, what with his Cosmic Plunger, Gravitic Monkeywrench, and the matter-energy transferring Syphon Star!

Kreeghor Invincible Guardsman: "UGH! What is this thing adhered to my face!? Some sort of parasitic organism!!! I CAN'T SEE!!!"

RotaRuter: "Behold the Power of Cosmic Suction, as I pull you out of the way of true cosmic destiny!!!! Now feel the torque of my Gravitic WREEEENNCCCHHH!!!!"

Kreeghor Invincible Guardsman: "OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:36 pm
  

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Aramanthus wrote:
Ok, ok! Let's get busy here!



:::Construction crew moving heavy equipment for the next 50 pages! Planetary movers are getting ready to adjust any solar systems we disturb!:::


:::Lots of noise from all of the construction going on.:::

:ok:


I'd feel alot better if I didn't sounds like the following coming from the construction crew:

"AAAAAAHHHHHHooohhhhmammamammamma! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING THAT RAIL_NAIL GUN!!!!!"

"Hey, bonehead, schematics here call for a two-by four MEGAMILE length of neutonium-reinforced Cosmic String! This is a regular wood two-by-four painted black!"
"There's a difference...?"

"Now remember, when punching up volcano archipelagos through weak points in the crust, we want to have them emerge far out to sea....That last one you did was a little too close to a major population center!"

"But I liked the pulsar there! I thought it would look so NICE in the night sky!"
"You're immune to intense radiation, ain't yah?"

"Anybody see the foreman? I need his opinion on this megacrete we just laid down..."
*GLUG*gurgle*

"HEY! ANYBODY SEE THE DEUTERIUM TANKS FOR MY PLASMA TORCH!? THE VALVE WAS LEAKING SO I HAD TO SET THEM ASI---"
*BOOM*
"NEVER MIND! THERE THEY ARE!!!"

"Hi, are we supposed to be building a Dyson Sphere or a Ringworld?"

"Nice going, G'ob....that wasn't lunch you just ate...that was the CATERER!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:39 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Hmm... And on regular non-CK days, he goes around his city helping the domestically challenged with their plumbing. His cover is the chief plumber of the CCW Beta 3's city plumbing services.


Mild-mannered civil employee by day....MUscle-rippling Unplugger of Clogged Wormholes by eternal night!

And you thought 'Brazil's' Frank Tuttle, Mercenary Repairman, was BAAAdddd?(IMHO, that guy was THE role model for Rifts' Operators..."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:49 pm
  

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Shhhhh!!!
The rest of the Three Galaxies isn't supposed to know the Firsts got entrapped in eternal servitude to Tech Services!
Answering boneheaded questions like....
"I don't know magic, I can't even read....Can you have my Cosmic Pantheon up and running by tonight? I'm in a hurry!"

Or...

"What's this supposed to do?"
"I don't know, ma'am, what particular -this-are you referring to?"
"You know, this that everyone has..."
"NO, I don't...Which -this-?"
"Are you going to help me or not?!"

(unfortunately, these come perilously close to reality...ask you local public library reference librarian for examples of the more frustrating calls they've gotten...) :D :roll:

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:51 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:

Oh mine! What have we created here? The one CK that even the Fallen Knights will not even try to convert.....



LOL!
Fallen CK: "Look, are we going to stand around here all day arguing about why I betrayed the Cosmic Forge, or are you going to fix my drains? I got company coming over at eight, and I need my den to be NOT flooded!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 3:07 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Nay... Just call some public or government services, you will get a glimpse of a fraction of these types of calls.


Hey, my local bus terminal dispatcher once had a woman ask him, when all the cab services in the area couldn't come pick her up, to call 911 so the police could take her where she wanted to go...claime as a taxpayer it was her right...and when he didn't comply(having been cursed with sanity) she did anyway on her cell....

Proof that in order to keep up with reality, we fantasy writters REALLY have to go out there...

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 2:21 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Did the donut-eaters actually pick her up? Or did they sent her straight to the lock-up?

The world is made up of some really strange and wonderful people.... not always coherent though, but definitely weird.



The cops DID show up in time to share a look of disbelief with the dispatcher, but by perverse good fortune, a taxi cab DID pull in in time to spare the idiot a trip to the hoosegow, so there's still a potential Darwin Award wandering free out there....

And I had a woman who came in with NO knowledge of the internet, or even a computer, and expected me to type, format, and scan her ad for her house and put it on sale by owner on the internet...in 45 minutes...

THis is the equivalent of somebody sounding a cosmic-class alert and summoning a CosmoKnight to act as their eprsonal chauffeur because they 'serve the people'...


Made me wish my job description matched that of its closest Rifts equivalent, the Rogue Scholar, with respect to firearms training and possession..
Or maybe have the Splugorth Slaver outpost on Long Island on speed-dial;
"Excuse me, do you monsters do pick up? We got somebody who won't be missed and who needs to be eliminated from the gene pool as quickly as possible!"

Erasers, Inc. -----Splugorth Personal Individual Removal Services;
"We Take the Stains Out of Humanity"
Or
"We Clean Up the Gene Pool"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 17, 2006 3:47 pm
  

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Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/160755/231263

Cockroach Sentience Proven; Governments Level Taxes
-----Adeta Prime, CCW, Corkscrew Galaxy. Recent revelations of the sentience of a common breed of cockroach that is prevelant, despite intense remediation efforts and pest control measures, now has galactic governments rushing to evaluate both their legal liabilities and rights with regard to the 'newly' discovered sentients living among their midst.
Ever since Noro astro-communications expert Doctor Llalor Nevs' experiment in combining hyper-sensitive psionic scanning apparatus with high-powered decryption AIs discovered the previously unknown sentience of the Common AstroRoach, scientists, socialiologists, and lawyers have been in an uproar.
(Cut to a scene of a giant laboratory with a massive telescope-like device studded with glowing psylite crystals. the whole apparatus slowly raising to a skyport...suddenly the multi-ton scanner array stops in its ascent...and the camera POV falters...then zooms in on a miniscule speck that resolves itself into two coackroaches on the wall...)
Roach: "...as there I was trying to get out of the den, when my missus sez 'and where do you think YOU'RE goin', leaving me with two hundred nymphs to feed?!" and then...hey, you get that feeling that somebody's listening to us?"

The discovery of massive communities of sentient roaches dwelling in major communities everywhere has sent shockwaves through the galactic community...With lawyers and officials lining up on BOTH sides ready to legate;

Lawyer 1(Representing the AstroRoach Protection Lobby): "With the news that our declared clients are sentient, emotional beings capable of pain and suffering, we can now move to sue civil improvement and pest extermination organizations for unlawful persecution of a sentient species, infliction of pain and suffering, and attempted genocide!"

Lawyer 2: (TVIA): "Actually, as a sentient species living tax-free on CCW real estate and property, they qualify as unlawful squatters..Not to mention we have multiple cases of Evading Quarantine, Hazards to Public Health, and several cases of THeft of Confidential Information, Industrial Espionage, and Invasion of Privacy! Heck, the back taxes alone stretch back several hundred years!"

The launching of the Roach Legal Debate Conference coincides with a sudden increase in business ordered of regional pest exterminators, and a sudden disappearance of Astroroach populations reported from several major metropolitam areas....

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:12 pm
  

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Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
Pair of Rocks in Public Park:
"The Roaches have been outed! What if they discover -US- next?!"
"Nah, they'll overhear the crabgrass first..."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 4:15 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:

"MMMuuummm!!!! It's the roaches! What do we do with them now? Can I still kill them?"

"No! Don't! Just evade them!"


"Great, just great...now every time I go in the kitchen and set out traps, the cockroaches threaten to call their lawyers on me!"
"So? As I recall, you -kill- lawyers....and there ain't THAT much of a difference between the two, is there?"
"......you know, you're right. Hand me my blast-hammer and my assault rifle, willya?"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:22 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:14 pm
Posts: 9239
Location: Northwood, ND
taalismn wrote:
darkmax wrote:

"MMMuuummm!!!! It's the roaches! What do we do with them now? Can I still kill them?"

"No! Don't! Just evade them!"


"Great, just great...now every time I go in the kitchen and set out traps, the cockroaches threaten to call their lawyers on me!"
"So? As I recall, you -kill- lawyers....and there ain't THAT much of a difference between the two, is there?"
"......you know, you're right. Hand me my blast-hammer and my assault rifle, willya?"


:lol: Great! :lol:


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 18, 2006 11:48 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
ROFLMAO!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I just love feeding you the material to help inspire you both!

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 4:25 pm
  

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Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 08/219755/234467352456

T'Zee Minority Group Proposes Super-Predator Conservation Plan for T'Zee Homeworld!
----Dellian 4, Corkscrew Galaxy. A minority group of T'Zee free-thinkers, albeit with alarming political influence and economic clout, have proposed a radical new way to conserve resources and curb explosive population growth on 'Malthus' World'---Introduce, or rather RE-introduce, a predator-heavy ecosystem, to replace the one long since eliminated by overdevelopment on Dellian 4.
Speaking from his secret headquarters somewhere within the urban sprawl of Delian 4, Olles Kulnec, head of the so-called Hand of Delkos Holy Church and one of the sponsors of the Eco-Renewal Greater Predation Plan, explained his group's unique proposal and goals.
"Our population is, in a word, straining our world's resources...the Great Goddess Delkos, in her generousity, gave us T'Zee great fertility in order to survive our harsh environment, so we might keep ahead of the predators. But she also gave us intelligence, so we might hold yet another edge over our evolutionary opponents...However, sadly, our fertility and our intelligence have both outstripped our environment, and we have slain and eaten all controls on our growth...Rather than use our numbers to survive, and our brains to responsibily manage our world, we now look beyond Delkos' providence to other worlds to make up for our lack of understanding of the gifts given us.
Since we already overcame the first challenges Delkos set for us, we must deliberately re-instate new ones. We do not propose, as some, especially outsiders, have suggested...that we sterilize the population until our numbers drop to numbers more compatible with available resources...That would be interfering with one of the gifts of the Goddess to our very nature....But we need a new challenge on a level with our fecundity, our greater intelligence, and our technology.
We propose to bring and cultivate populations of newer, better, predators, engineered to survive on Dellian 4, and adapted to challenge us on our homeground....Other worlds have maintained populations of predators on their worlds, in vast game and nature reserves....and even though there are extensive safeguards to keep them in, there are always a few, and that linghering possibility, that those predators may escape, and hunt sentients. On Dellian 4 we have no such parks, no such reserves...we have plowed under all such lands, and destroyed all such life...so we need to bring in a new ecosystem...We do not have the resources to maintain zoos as such, and so our new ecoystem must be self-supporting, living off resources that are plentiful in our altered environment...that means -us-.
I am not proposing wholesale genocide on brooders and innocent pups....I am proposing that we introduce something that wil, do away with only a relative handful of our population each year....doing away with the weak, the ignorant, the unwary....and restore to us the sharpness of senses and quickness of reflexes that we possessed in the old days, before technology and arrogance robbed us of the more acute aspects of intelligence.
Already, members of the Greater Predation Plan have begun looking at various species that show great promise to be excellent in the role of re-establishing balance here on Dellian. Among the species up for consideration and transplantation to this world, are the well-known Kreeghor Bloodhound, Critchonavore MetalSwarm collective insectoids, Grangor Land-Octopus, the PfligorManeater Leech, a newly discovered semi-sentient insectoid species known as the Xiticix, and several others. We hope to come to a decision soon, and to begin implementing our efforts to restore the ecological balance on Dellian so that future generations may enjoy the longer-term benefits of a world once again in balance with Delkos' plan!"

Naturally, the beliefs of both the Hand of Delkos Holy Church and the Eco-Renewal Greater Predation Plan are raising objections from other quarters of the T'Zee species. Olles Kulnec's announcements prompted this response from the T'Zee Dellian High Government;
"Olles Kulnec and his followers are criminally demented; somehow convinced that our problems are the result of some sort of sin of our very nature, rather than the result of oppressive offworlder policies in discriminating against our manifest destiny. Kulnec doesn't criticize the HUmans for their overpopulation and colonization of over half the known universe, but we T'Zee are expected to implement a suicidal plan of genetically engineered murder to met the expectations of his religion. He doesn't seek consesus and approval of a common forum to reach reasonable solutions; his followere are already moving into the advance stages of their plans to unleash bioweapons into our communities....The Hand of Delkos Holy Church claims to speak from the heart of our people, but in reality, it is a savage strike against it; garbled eco-science and false scincerity masking a terrorist agenda. All citizens are warned to be on the lookout for the activities of these groups, and offworlders are urged to report encounters with any 'missionaries' from them seeking to purchase alien animal stock or genetic engineering technology."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Tue Sep 19, 2006 8:07 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
Ohh! That is a very cool and cruel way to control their population. But it might work!

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:57 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Talk about too much sex......

In response to the suggestion, a group of TGE eco-activists have sent and released a total of 15,000 Kreeghor Bloodhounds into unspecified locations around Delian 4. A matter of weeks, the result will show how effective the Bloodhounds are.



And who sez the Kreeghor(and the TGE) never did anything nice for anybody?

Of course, that will start a fad of various nations with an ax to grind with the T'Zee 'generously donating' various self-propagating predator species to the 'T'Zee Ecology Rebalancing Effort'.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 6:04 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Cruel?! Nature is neither cruel nor nice, it is as it is, plain survival.

Of course the bloodhounds being one of the top predators in the Three Galaxies does put things in their perspective...


NON-sentient predators...the intelligent predators can work open doors, climb stairs, and imitate door-to-door salesmen and cable-repair men....

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:42 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
I was speaking sarcastically. I remember their problem. And they caused their own problems. It is one way of controlling it. :)

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 5:47 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
I know! It's forgiven and forgotten! :ok:

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 5:55 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
hmm... T'Zees remind me seriously of human beings.... Is something wrong with me?



Malthus World is the nickname of their homeworld....There's definitely a comparison being made between the T'Zee and the human condition...Except in Phaseworld, nobody's complaining about HUMAN overpopulation, mainly because a) we're a powerful socio-economic bloc in the Three Galaxies, and because b) we're the equivalent of tofu...bland, limp, and neutral on the palate, but we go great with just about anything.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:20 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
true.... nice agreeable people to the CCW, good servants to the mages in UWW, and a nice snack for the TGE guys....

T'Zees are too hairy for raw sushi.


And their pelts are too coarse for rugs...
PLus their nasty nanoweapons make them poor game for any but the most dedicated of hunters...

(A black-clad figure pops up)

Aranax the Anguished: "Whattya mean, they're poor sport!? Why I happen to think they're great hunting! Why, with my new SpeediCroaker LT700 Microwave Beamer, I can pop a whole shipload in under a minute! Better than puff-blasting hamsteroids with an x-ray laser! And those fancy nano-sprayers they leave behind sell great on the Black Market!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:43 pm
  

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Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/218760/123153515813

Medcrythh Corp. Recalls Medicinal Slime Amidst Concerns of Mental Side-Effects!
-----Sagadol IV, Greem System, LvCroft Sector, Corkscrew Galaxy. Medcrythh Corp., a leading Splugorth distributor of medical biowizardry, has issued a recall for recent batches of its SureCure medicinal healing slime, following reports of unusual mental side-effects associated with its use.
(Cut to a shot of a Splugorth Highlord trying to look earnest and sincere into the camera....he is identified as 'RASH YOGIN, SPOKESBEING, MEDCRYTHH PHARMECOLOGICAL)
Yogin: "I'm afraid that batches of our healing slime made between 123451 and 342587 may have been contaminated with psychotropic magic , a possible side-effect from one of our other product lines being produced in the same facility....The taint isn't dangerous in the least, but it may produce mental effects that are..."
(suddenly behind him, a side door opens in the corridor and a Sunaj Assassin suddenly appears...we can tell he's Sunaj because of his helmet, and that it's a he because the helmet is ALL he's wearing, aside from a thick coating of green slime...he struts out into the corridor behind Yogin, then suddenly begins flapping his arms, chicken style.)
Sunaj: "KKKKEKKERKADEW!!!! I'M THE ROOSTER, BABY!!!KAAKKADADDLEDOOOOO!!!!(Suddenly catches sight of Yogin) HEYKAYDAKKEYBABY!!!WANNA LAY MY EGGS!!!!???? (suddenly runs at Yogin, several white-clad Kydian nurses in hot pursuit...but before they can grab him, he jumps up on Yogin and begins head-butting him, peck-style) ...****YAAARRGGGKKK!!!!!!*****(he gets zap-staffed by the nurses)"
Yogin:(getting up, shakily)"-embarassing in the extreme....(under his breath) if he hadn't gotten burned in the service of the Master, I'd have his neck wrung for that!......(louder) So we're advizing that anyone with any of the slime produced between those two dates return it immediately for a full refund. We're terribly sorry for the inconvenience."

UNfortunately, Medcrythh Corps' warning may have come too late---already several sectors are complaining of a rise in drug-related 'slime-crimes' as word of the mind-altering slime has spread, and various underworld elements are springing for fresh supplies of the substance.
(cut to a low-quality video of several nude beings wrestling in a pool of slime...bystanders standing around trhe edge of the pit, who have been caught by spatter, are reeling around looking utterly stoned). And several galactic medical agencies are roundly criticizing Maedcrythh for both irresponsibly releasing a tainted medical product onto the open market, and for inadvertantly(some say DELIBERATELY) creating a new black market drug problem with their suspect slime.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:59 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
LMAO!!!! That scene reminds me of the Mosquito hunters from Monty Python. What about that sort of Hunters for the T'Zee? :)

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:02 pm
  

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Aramanthus wrote:
LMAO!!!! That scene reminds me of the Mosquito hunters from Monty Python. What about that sort of Hunters for the T'Zee? :)


Name a race in the Three Galaxiea and there's sure to be some equivalent group posting hunting bounties on them...Though the ones who go after Prometheans rarely return in any sort of shape(or are horribly compacted into a multitude of small containers...some sort of weird religious tradition now sweeing Center...In fact, one traveller bought a lamp from an antiques dealer in Center and claims to have found a humanoid crammed into it and still alive...).

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 7:33 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
A new show for Omni!

"Hunters." An interactive show following various hunters of the 3Gs and their prospective prey! In certain sociaties it does include the hunting of intelliegent lifeforms. We at Omni are not responsible for the violence you see as you watch it! But we do approve it!

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 8:32 pm
  

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Aramanthus wrote:
A new show for Omni!

"Hunters." An interactive show following various hunters of the 3Gs and their prospective prey! In certain sociaties it does include the hunting of intelliegent lifeforms. We at Omni are not responsible for the violence you see as you watch it! But we do approve it!



Not sure I'd entirely get behind such a show....There's a movie 'The Tenth Victim' about jaded Europeans doing exactly that...and I also just finished reading the 15-volume manga 'Battle Royale'...not exactly fare that sits well with an upset stomach(to those of you unfamilar with this bloodsoaked epic ...think "LOrd of the Flies" Mets "Running Man' with a near-future Japanese dicttaorship randomly sending a class of high school students with timed explosive collars around their necks to an isolated location....they only have three days to whittle each other down, with random weapons sprinkled about the island, to one survivor who goes free(but either totally insane or psychologically broken by the experience)....all of this broadcast to the public...A film version was alos made, but the manga is far more brutal...tearing down the protagonists---of which there are darned few---the kids descend into darkness pretty fast---with graphic brutality....I found myself wondering...what would happen if a band of Rifts Earth adventurers found themselves in the middle of this carnage?)

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 9:20 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
I was thinking of it in the vein of the Monty Python Mosquito Hunters type of show! Sorry.................... :(

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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Unread postPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:14 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Battle Royale is really gruesome. I bought the first manga and left it at that.


Fortunately, in 18 out of 20 alternate timelines of that particular universe sub-set observed and recorded by Interdim("The Interdimensional Courier and Cataloguing Company---Wanna Send a Letter to Yourself Today?") ended in massive social upheaval by various forces, including a
cruise-missile (Phase World model) attack on the Japanese dictatorship's strongholds from a refitted Zentraedi warship, an invasion by power-armored penguins, and a return of the Japanese gods(Amateratsu was -PO'EDDDDDDD----).

Further evidence that the Megaverse loathes fat sadistic MCs....

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:17 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
BTW the Naruni Board of Directors have decided to improve on the little accidental drug and start selling it to all the Madri Gras-style parades all over the Megaverse, to entertain the "discerning" crowd.

It will be name "The Naked Chicken".



It's also been accidentally slipped into the regenerative baths of Splugorth Slaver Barges....

Splugorth Slaver: "Heyheyheyhey!!! Wanna see me barrel roll this thing?! WHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
Altaran Blind Warrior Women: "Oh nonoNO*BLECHKKKK!!!RETCH!!!GARFAPHOON!!!!***"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 5:58 pm
  

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Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/22236/123661233

Splugorth Slaver Squadron Wins Aerobatics Award
-----Sendeshal VIII, Seradec System, Semeten Dominia, Rodan Sector, Anvil Galaxy. An incursion by Splugorth forces on the military dictatorship of Sendeshal VIII resulted in no slaves or loot being taken, but the raiding fortce nevertheless didn't leave empty-handed, carrying off the planet's prestigious award for aerobatics, awarded during the world's annual Arms of Liberty Fest.
(image of a Wolfen in bemedalled uniforme, in front of a bunker hung with bunting. She is identified as CALLIS D'WOREN, FIELD MARSHAL, SEMETAN DOMINIA ARMED FORCES)
D'Woren: "We thought the Splugorth were insane..attacking us on the one day we'd have our military at full readiness and full operational strength to show our strongest(gestures to an array of parked, but still impressive-looking, combat grav vehicles, transatmospheric attack aerodynes, and hovertanks, hung with an impressive amount of weaponry and insignia)...and I guess they were rightfully surprised to see our whole army and air force ready to face them because they changed their tune in a hurry....Surprised us, actually, the way they went from advancing force to some of the most INCREDIBLE aerobatic clowning we ever saw!..."
(video of an advancing line of Kittani, Kydians, and Slaver Barges....the Slavers are glistening with slime in the bright Seradecian sun, and they seem to be catcalling and boasting to one another....sudddenly a whole group of Slavers breaks ranks and advances at speed, then begins hopping and leap-thrusting into the air, then accelerating to the sides, and using buildings like a half-pipe, jump-ramping into the air...
Within moments, the whole force of Slavers is doing an impromptu aerial ballet, doing things Slaver Barges are never KNOWN to do...spinning upsidedown twirls, hammerstalls, high-speed chicken with each other, speeding past public lighting pylons and grabbing on with tentacles to spin about them, putting on a light show with their wrist blasters...
On the ground the Kittani and Kydians are doing what looks like a mass dance number...until one realizes they're trying to avoid being hit by the air-toboganning Slavers..and falling Altarans...most of whom manage to acrobatically roll to safety...but a few remain on their respective barges, looking very much like involunatry wing-walkers...)

D'Woren: "After a display like THAT!!!! Well, it showed...spirit...our boys and girls in the aerobatics teams just couldn't manage to match that...so we had to give credit where credit was due and give them the Highlester Cup for Aerobatic Excellence."

(Cut to image of a Kydian Powerlord on the bridge of a Splugorth battleship. He is identified as HAMMALORD KRENDEN, RAID MASTER, REALM OF KRENDELYTHH...He is cradling a trophy of silver and crystal winged chevrons)
Krenden: "Oh sure, we're glad to have this trophy...we'd LIKE to have come away with a hold full of slaves and loot, but sicne our battle plan went posterior-up, we're happy to have SOMETHING to show the Big One back home...Hopefully this will keep us from being chopped up into CarnageHound Chow...if not, I'm sure this will look good on the mass grave for those dunderchucs who screwed up our offensive..*!*"

(Cut to a last image of a ship hold full of Splugorth Slavers looking incredibly hungover...the Eyes of Eylor in their symbiotic Barges looking particularly dilated and bloodshot...and several dozen Altarans either bazooka-barfing into air-scikness bags or chugging bottles of anti-nausea medications)

Slaver:(weakly)"...buck-buck-bucKAK!----"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 9:34 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
ROFLMAO!!!! And I never thought bricks could fly so delicately!!! :lol: :lol:

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:08 am
  

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Palladin

Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:14 pm
Posts: 9239
Location: Northwood, ND
:lol: Still funny and still going strong! Keep it up! :lol:


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 9:42 am
  

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Aramanthus wrote:
ROFLMAO!!!! And I never thought bricks could fly so delicately!!! :lol: :lol:


It's all in the wrist when you throw them...

Now if we could get those barges fitted into tutu-like bunting, and set to some waltz-music...."Dance of the Drugged Slime-Lizards'?

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:03 pm
  

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Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/234448/1257832553

Paradox Motoprs Unveils Most Advanced Starship Design Yet!
Three Galaxies Aerospace Experts 'Speechless!'
-----Tandoser Station, Gemis System, Erewhon Sector, Corkscrew Galaxy. Paradox Motors today unveiled what it called its 'greatest, most graceful, design to date' in a multi-million credit extravaganza to highlight the new design's debut.
(Cut to a slender, androngynous humanoid wearing an immaculate evening suit...which is on backwards...identified as AMADAMA, CEO, PARADOX MOTORS)

Amadama: "Yes, we're really pleased to show off our strongest showing in an already strong aerospace market, with a concept so simple, so elegant, so BASIC that we're surpised nobody's thought of it before...but as we at Paradox Motors know from experience, and practice on a daily basis, it is the simplest designs that are most often overlooked...complexity lending itself to the evolution of simple paradoxical forms...And I'm sure that our breakthrough in pointing out the obvious will be appreciated by all out there who cherish qualityin design and production...Why, we're already getting rave reviews from some of the most distinguished market analysts and spacecraft designers in the field, some of who were most gracious in showing up today to give us their support..."

(Camera pans to a group of beings standing in the spacedock dome next to Amadama and currently looking at something outside it...A Dwarf; INGLIX THE MAD, a Monro, FALATRAX, CHIEF DESIGNER, GENERAL GRAVITICS, an elegant-looking female elf, BEATRA SUNPETAL, CHIEF AESTHETICS CONSULTANT, DAYAMAR YACHTSHAPERS, a human , AEYAN RUTAN, CHIEF TEST PILOT, COSMIC COMPOSITES LTD, a Wulfen, GADAYAR THOSAN, MASTER SHIPWRIGHT, TRI-GALACTIC DRIVEYARDS, and a Golgan, RETARIS SAAN, TEST PILOT, BAKALAPONA FOLDYARDS...)

Inglix: (wringing his hands angrily) "ARGhhhh...why didn't I think of that MYSELF!!!"

Falatrax:(blinking his eye slowly, again, and again, his tentacles paralyzed in shock, and muttering)..."It's...it's...it's...."

Sunpetal:(Writhing in ground, tearing at her shoulders and face in agony, foaming at the mouth)"Aggghhhhhhh!!!!! I can't bear to look at it any more!!! Take it AWWWAAAYYYY!!!!!"

Rutan: (looking flabbergasted and stunned) "IT can't be.....the material's all wrong....the chemistry's ALMOST the same, but you can't...CAN'T get that sort of performance with that ...."

THosan: (Tearing at his head-fur in obvious frustration)"No WAY you're going to be able to sell that concept!!! NO Moon-Howlin' WAY!!!"


Saan:(rolling on ground clutching his sides, howling in laughter) "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! THAT'S SO FREAKIN' -PRECIOUS!!! Why didn't WE think of -THAT-!? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

(POV pans back to Amadama, who gestures elegantly off-camera)

Amadama: "And now, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the rest of our public to their first glimpse of our boldest concept yet, the face of future aerospace...May I present the Paradox Motors' new flagship design(drum roll builds)....
Say Hello to ...
......
......
......

...THE BRICK!!!!!!!"

(Camera pans to the spacedock outside..to reveal..a giant brick, floating in the middel, lit by the floodlights, surrounded by servicing vehicles and vacsuited EVA workers)

Amadama: "Simplicity in design...minimal moving parts...hardened solar-baked regolith casing...the latest in Paradox Motors' idiot-proof life support and drive propulsion...scaleable design, from single-seat podcraft to million-person colonizer...modular design compatible, for building composite craft...and excellent resale value to the construction industry after its operational lifespan is up!...People, this is your ride of tomorrow, come today!!!"

(With that, the brick seems to power up---light halo surrounds it---and it begins to accelerate towards the camera...then silently pass past it, moving already as a blur...then shooting out into the void beyond to disappear...
...and the corporate logo of Paradox Motors appears(a star-speckled Mobius Strip) and the words:
PARADOX MOTORS: DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT, JUST DO IT!!!

Sunpetal:(voice only) "AYYYaaahhhaaggggggg!!!!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 2:39 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
Hmm.... Brick! The next best thing to a Cube!


Bricks at least have the ILLUSION of grace over a Cube.

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 3:51 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
You must be joking right?! In an atmosphere, a brick is going to be flying as it's name sake, slow and clumbersome! We at the Basic Shape Engineering Corp, always recommend a cube.


Evidently you didn't catch the name of our company when you stepped into our lobby..We ain't called 'Paradox' Motors for nothing....

Besides, in your case, wouldn't a sphere be a better choice?

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 23, 2006 10:54 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Wed Apr 20, 2005 4:14 pm
Posts: 9239
Location: Northwood, ND
taalismn wrote:
Network Omni Newsflash
Dateline: 09/234448/1257832553

Paradox Motoprs Unveils Most Advanced Starship Design Yet!
Three Galaxies Aerospace Experts 'Speechless!'
-----Tandoser Station, Gemis System, Erewhon Sector, Corkscrew Galaxy. Paradox Motors today unveiled what it called its 'greatest, most graceful, design to date' in a multi-million credit extravaganza to highlight the new design's debut.
(Cut to a slender, androngynous humanoid wearing an immaculate evening suit...which is on backwards...identified as AMADAMA, CEO, PARADOX MOTORS)

Amadama: "Yes, we're really pleased to show off our strongest showing in an already strong aerospace market, with a concept so simple, so elegant, so BASIC that we're surpised nobody's thought of it before...but as we at Paradox Motors know from experience, and practice on a daily basis, it is the simplest designs that are most often overlooked...complexity lending itself to the evolution of simple paradoxical forms...And I'm sure that our breakthrough in pointing out the obvious will be appreciated by all out there who cherish qualityin design and production...Why, we're already getting rave reviews from some of the most distinguished market analysts and spacecraft designers in the field, some of who were most gracious in showing up today to give us their support..."

(Camera pans to a group of beings standing in the spacedock dome next to Amadama and currently looking at something outside it...A Dwarf; INGLIX THE MAD, a Monro, FALATRAX, CHIEF DESIGNER, GENERAL GRAVITICS, an elegant-looking female elf, BEATRA SUNPETAL, CHIEF AESTHETICS CONSULTANT, DAYAMAR YACHTSHAPERS, a human , AEYAN RUTAN, CHIEF TEST PILOT, COSMIC COMPOSITES LTD, a Wulfen, GADAYAR THOSAN, MASTER SHIPWRIGHT, TRI-GALACTIC DRIVEYARDS, and a Golgan, RETARIS SAAN, TEST PILOT, BAKALAPONA FOLDYARDS...)

Inglix: (wringing his hands angrily) "ARGhhhh...why didn't I think of that MYSELF!!!"

Falatrax:(blinking his eye slowly, again, and again, his tentacles paralyzed in shock, and muttering)..."It's...it's...it's...."

Sunpetal:(Writhing in ground, tearing at her shoulders and face in agony, foaming at the mouth)"Aggghhhhhhh!!!!! I can't bear to look at it any more!!! Take it AWWWAAAYYYY!!!!!"

Rutan: (looking flabbergasted and stunned) "IT can't be.....the material's all wrong....the chemistry's ALMOST the same, but you can't...CAN'T get that sort of performance with that ...."

THosan: (Tearing at his head-fur in obvious frustration)"No WAY you're going to be able to sell that concept!!! NO Moon-Howlin' WAY!!!"


Saan:(rolling on ground clutching his sides, howling in laughter) "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!! THAT'S SO FREAKIN' -PRECIOUS!!! Why didn't WE think of -THAT-!? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"

(POV pans back to Amadama, who gestures elegantly off-camera)

Amadama: "And now, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the rest of our public to their first glimpse of our boldest concept yet, the face of future aerospace...May I present the Paradox Motors' new flagship design(drum roll builds)....
Say Hello to ...
......
......
......

...THE BRICK!!!!!!!"

(Camera pans to the spacedock outside..to reveal..a giant brick, floating in the middel, lit by the floodlights, surrounded by servicing vehicles and vacsuited EVA workers)

Amadama: "Simplicity in design...minimal moving parts...hardened solar-baked regolith casing...the latest in Paradox Motors' idiot-proof life support and drive propulsion...scaleable design, from single-seat podcraft to million-person colonizer...modular design compatible, for building composite craft...and excellent resale value to the construction industry after its operational lifespan is up!...People, this is your ride of tomorrow, come today!!!"

(With that, the brick seems to power up---light halo surrounds it---and it begins to accelerate towards the camera...then silently pass past it, moving already as a blur...then shooting out into the void beyond to disappear...
...and the corporate logo of Paradox Motors appears(a star-speckled Mobius Strip) and the words:
PARADOX MOTORS: DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT, JUST DO IT!!!

Sunpetal:(voice only) "AYYYaaahhhaaggggggg!!!!"


:lol: :roll: :lol: Now that was just crazy! :lol: :roll: :lol:


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:44 pm
  

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Of course...do we sound like sane and rational people to you?

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:34 pm
  

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darkmax wrote:
taalismn wrote:
Evidently you didn't catch the name of our company when you stepped into our lobby..We ain't called 'Paradox' Motors for nothing....

Besides, in your case, wouldn't a sphere be a better choice?


Jumps onto the spokesperson for Paradox Motors and start strangling him...

"Tell me who told you the secret about our next generation vessels?! Tell me or I'll have your face looking down on your back!"




"THat's simple...second hand info from the Golgans....they heard about the advance order of Spheres made by one of their more aggressive break-away republics, the Nastifarians....The Republik's already devised a defense against Sphere raiders...something called the Racket Urbanplex Defense System..."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:10 pm
  

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Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
darkmax wrote:
"Phew! So they still don't know about the giant retractable vibro-spikes we are installing.... Oops! You heard that right?"


Golgan Defense Officer(reading humintel file): "Quick! I need several cubic MILES of corkboard, and I need it NOW!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:48 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
darkmax wrote:
".... well since I'm going to have to kill you, I might as well tell you this. The Sphere also have a series of plasma ejector to cover itself in case of encompassing offense/defenses...."


"Nice of them to light themselves up like that for our heat-seekers..."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:55 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
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Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
darkmax wrote:
Oops! :lol: :lol: :lol:

"Bring out the bottles of giant pressurized champagnes! We will need all the force they generate to break the wall of cork!"

... that almost sounded vulgar....


"Gods, but I hate to see a good year go to waste like that..."

GOlgan Officer: "Sir! The Nastifarians are being blockaded by the Council of Vino Connoisseurs! They're demanding the Nastifarians power down their weapons IMMEDIATELY, or face bad reviews in -Eateries Quarterly-!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 3:56 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
Hmmm....Do Golgans go best with a red wine or a white wine?

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:28 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
darkmax wrote:
"Yeah! They also stated that escargots are great cruisine! Fire away! To snail hell with them!"



"Achk!! Man the Pepper Mills! Plasmate the Butter Sauce!! CHarge up the microwave lasers! We'll sautee them in their ships!!! Concussion missiles on their transports, and plasma cannon on their defense turrets! Shake and bake them!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:51 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
darkmax wrote:
"Not margarine! Butter! You numb skull! Margarine will spoil the flavor! Who told you to get such cheap spices and materials?!"


"Riposte! French Toast! Oleo and Clarified! MOlecular Chain Whisks out and activated! We'll beat them yet!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:19 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
darkmax wrote:
French Toasts weren't made by the French.. Oreo is American I think! :D

"So this is the way it's going to be, huh, slimey scum! Lieutenant, bring out the mega-Breadmaker, the Titan Toaster, the Giant Egg Beater and the Macro Food Processor! We are going to go all out!"


Network Omni News: Rimmrunner's Notes
Dateline: 09/2436724/462464

"Folks think that the 'foodfight' shaping up between the Nastafarians, the Golgans, and their gastronomic society allies is a ludicrous display of excess...Well. let me tell you...That 'foodfight' is only the two thousandth recorded war waged between culinary adversaries...and over fifteen million sentients have died in the course of those conflicts...and nobody knows the statistics for the numbers who have died from related heart disease, food poisoning, ulcers, and strokes. Food is serious business, and not all the wars are found over food supplies.....It's usually national pride...The larger and more powerful a nation becomes, the more it becomes convinced that -ITS- cuisine is the best in the cosmos, and they start building the private infrastructure to support and promote that idea...When did you ever spot a decorative pastry shoppe or a wine-tasting society set up on a starving colony world?....It's all snoot appeal...
And before you laugh at the idea of cheese-tasters going at each other with champagne corks and sharpened toothpicks, remember that a lot of these 'culinary societies'...cults, really...have close connections to the restaurant industry...the upper end of the scale actually....where the wealthy and connected hobnob and make deals over plates of sibishi-quan and alcos-basted leg of shemmack...The sort of places that have the confidentiality agreements and private dining rooms in back? And despite their supposed neutrality and confidentiallity clauses, those places are in a position to overhear and pick up info on the players in the arms market....And I mean the big hitters.....The latest and baddest weapons systems may be developed by sleep-deprived nerds over cold caff and stale meat-wafer, but those same weapons aren't going to be sold over a gundersaur-burger at the Burger-Czar...NO, the players are going to dine on nemacken steak and trade death at Pelzo's Garden of Delights....
That's why the Culinary Society of New Paris and the Tri-Galactic Vinoculture Gastronomic can field small armies that many national military forces are afraid of.....That's why the Parsley War of 24656734567, over the grow-zones of Malabish went nucleonic when the Habberoid Dynasty challenged the Adaming blockade...courtesy of weapons supplied by the Orvi Salad Club...and why the conflict between SupremoChef Emeras and Lord-High MasterChef Gobaros ended in a duel of superdreadnoughts in the Hymas Belt.
That's why I'm staying well-clear of the 'foodfight' shaping up over HoDeck XI....There's no telling where either of those two food-obsessed forces did their arms-shopping, and I wouldn't want to be an adjacent table when the check comes due..."

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:21 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
Posts: 46801
Location: Somewhere between Heaven, Hell, and New England
darkmax wrote:
French Toasts weren't made by the French.. Oreo is American I think! :D

"So this is the way it's going to be, huh, slimey scum! Lieutenant, bring out the mega-Breadmaker, the Titan Toaster, the Giant Egg Beater and the Macro Food Processor! We are going to go all out!"


"AGHHH!!!! DEPLOY THE TITANIUM CHEFS!!! TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO DICE AND SLICE AND JULIANNE!!!!"

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:12 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
What about Julia Childs? Send in Julia Childs! She knew how to Julien!

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:49 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2003 8:19 pm
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darkmax wrote:
You guys are killing me! What's a Julien?


If I'm not wrong(likely) it's a way of slicing foods...if I'm wrong about that, then it's an obscure Noro culinary skill for carving up foodstuffs into intricate filigree designs...

And by the way....

"Release the croissant reentry vehicles!!!"
"You mean, with the flakey ablative layered crust?"
"Exactly! We're taking this conflict strategic pastry!"
"But the Dwarves have forbidden us to use rune baked goods offensively!"
"Fool, we're not using THOSE!!! We're using our own!!!"
(Flashback/cut to video of an astroid that's been hollowed out with several massive opennings bored into it...large solar arrays are attached to it, focusing reflected sunlight into the center of the asteroid, which must be intensely hot, given the white glow coming from within...at one of the opennings, a work pod is cautiously approaching, awkwardly maneuvering a long rod or pole array at the end of which is a gridwork cage in which several pale-white crescent-shaped objects are sandwiched ...From another openning a second work pod is withdrawing a similar rod affair, with a dark cooling mass of roughly ovoid shape attached at the end....Across one face of the asteroid is painted in Nastifarian curlicues; YE OLE STONE BAKE ASTEROID #3)

_________________
-------------
"Trouble rather the Tiger in his Lair,
Than the Sage among his Books,
For all the Empires and Kingdoms,
The Armies and Works that you hold Dear,
Are to him but the Playthings of the Moment,
To be turned over with the Flick of a Finger,
And the Turning of a Page"

--------Rudyard Kipling
------------


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 Post subject:
Unread postPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 8:58 pm
  

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Monk

Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2006 5:18 am
Posts: 18714
Location: Racine, WI
ROFLMAO~!!!!!!!! AWESOMELY FUNNY Taalismn!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

_________________
"Your Grace," she said, "I have only one question. Do you wish this man crippled or dead?"

"My Lady," the protector of Grayson told his Champion, "I do not wish him to leave this chamber alive."

"As you will it, your Grace."

HH....FIE


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