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 Post subject: How about some novels?
Unread postPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2022 5:41 pm
  

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I've noticed that a lot of more successful rpg companies have some really good novels that draw the reader into the game world.
FASA had novels for Shadowrun and Battletech, do I need to mention the various awesome novels for the various world for AD&D? World of Darkness has some well-done series as well. Even Mutant Chronicles had novels, which were alright.
So, where are the novels for Palladium's various, awesome game-worlds?
I know the three Rifts novels were crap, but I'm sure that with an editor or two and some writers who know what they're doing, the reputation can be turned around.

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Unread postPosted: Sun Jul 31, 2022 11:18 pm
  

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The original novels have been re-edited by Rex Barkdoll and re-released. Tales of the Chi-town Burbs is an excellent anthology. There’s also Duty’s Edge, a standalone Rifts novel published last year. Full disclosure: I wrote Duty’s Edge.

I’d love to see Palladium make money from some more successful novels.

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Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
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Like what you see? There's more on my Patreon Page.
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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 6:38 am
  

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Comment: Yeah yeah yeah just give me my damn XP already :)
This along with other streams has never been fully embraced by those in charge. They've at best dabbled with any minor "failure" essentially leaving the idea on the shelf.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 6:47 am
  

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Hotrod wrote:
The original novels have been re-edited by Rex Barkdoll and re-released. Tales of the Chi-town Burbs is an excellent anthology. There’s also Duty’s Edge, a standalone Rifts novel published last year. Full disclosure: I wrote Duty’s Edge. I’d love to see Palladium make money from some more successful novels.


you wrote that! damn! had me flippin' pages for hours! that was a good book!


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 6:54 am
  

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jaymz wrote:
This along with other streams has never been fully embraced by those in charge. They've at best dabbled with any minor "failure" essentially leaving the idea on the shelf.


I don't think the novels are a failure... I bought copies of them. I'm reading the trilogy right now...


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 7:06 am
  

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Hotrod wrote:
I wrote Duty’s Edge.


the 29th mission report... I go to my death. do not come after me. I accept this...

You can crush a reader's hope and leave me wanting more. I wanted so badly to save each of them from their doom.
I was actually in the 'Nai. Part of M.F.O.#48 U.N. mission "multinational force and observers"
That deployment was SO CAKE!
having been there, I can sympathize with the characters trekking through that environment.
Today, the place is an exotic retreat...
but in rifts, when civilization is wiped out?
That region will kill thousands from just the heat alone.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 12:41 pm
  

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Comment: Yeah yeah yeah just give me my damn XP already :)
psiandco wrote:
jaymz wrote:
This along with other streams has never been fully embraced by those in charge. They've at best dabbled with any minor "failure" essentially leaving the idea on the shelf.


I don't think the novels are a failure... I bought copies of them. I'm reading the trilogy right now...


A trilogy that's literally decades old at this point.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 1:20 pm
  

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psiandco wrote:
Hotrod wrote:
I wrote Duty’s Edge.


the 29th mission report... I go to my death. do not come after me. I accept this...

You can crush a reader's hope and leave me wanting more. I wanted so badly to save each of them from their doom.
I was actually in the 'Nai. Part of M.F.O.#48 U.N. mission "multinational force and observers"
That deployment was SO CAKE!
having been there, I can sympathize with the characters trekking through that environment.
Today, the place is an exotic retreat...
but in rifts, when civilization is wiped out?
That region will kill thousands from just the heat alone.


Thank you! It's very rewarding to me when I come across readers' reactions.

And kudos for the Sinai mission. I served with a guy who did a tour out there; he had a similar opinion of the mission, but it's still a deployment, and it's still a mission that matters. I've never been to Sinai myself; in fact, I've only personally been to one of the locations depicted in the book, and that was a minor one at that. I've spent over two years in the Middle East, but I didn't want to use places I knew well.

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Author, Rifter Contributor, and Map Artist
Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
Also, check out my Instant NPC Generators!
Like what you see? There's more on my Patreon Page.
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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 4:25 pm
  

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Hotrod wrote:
The original novels have been re-edited by Rex Barkdoll and re-released. Tales of the Chi-town Burbs is an excellent anthology. There’s also Duty’s Edge, a standalone Rifts novel published last year. Full disclosure: I wrote Duty’s Edge.

I’d love to see Palladium make money from some more successful novels.



So, the first novel is now complete and readable? The next two are lacking the spelling errors and sentence fragments? Maybe I'll give them another chance, if so.
I'd like to see well-written novels from Palladium's game worlds; I'd also like to see Palladium's reputation become a bit more positive, especially among we veterans.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 4:46 pm
  

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I have a fiction thread on these boards...
I am a published author.
I see myself as a student and seek to constantly improve.
Perhaps I should go for it.
Perhaps I should write a Rifts book.

Should I try?


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 4:57 pm
  

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jaymz wrote:
psiandco wrote:
jaymz wrote:
This along with other streams has never been fully embraced by those in charge. They've at best dabbled with any minor "failure" essentially leaving the idea on the shelf.

I don't think the novels are a failure... I bought copies of them. I'm reading the trilogy right now...

A trilogy that's literally decades old at this point.


You. I need you. I need your help!
This is not a joke, this is not sarcasm.
Please read the fiction I have written and, tell me how I can improve.
I am serious, I need you to tell me what I must do to have a greater impact! better characters, better story, more action, what cliches am I abusing, honestly, I need your perspective to improve!
I don't care if your criticism hurts me, I want to be a better writer.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 5:09 pm
  

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viewtopic.php?f=8&t=183908

here is the link. Give me your criticism, and I will try again and strive to do better.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 5:35 pm
  

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Fenris2020 wrote:
Hotrod wrote:
So, the first novel is now complete and readable? The next two are lacking the spelling errors and sentence fragments? Maybe I'll give them another chance, if so. I'd like to see well-written novels from Palladium's game worlds; I'd also like to see Palladium's reputation become a bit more positive, especially among we veterans.


While I can't fix the broken game's writing (conflicting absolute statements with no priority [what trumps what?]) and bad logic (*for example Group mind block)
I can use "GRAMMARLY" to help catch all of my spelling errors and some grammar issues. Every time, I try to go back to my copies of websters dictionary, thesaurus, and writer's guide to hammer into my brain the correct spelling and the grammatical rule I may have missed.
But there is SO MUCH MORE to "Good Writing" than spelling and grammar. (* I agree that these basics are where every writer should start. A perfected grasp of the language.)

I study the youtube channel "Terrible Writing Advice" aka "TWA". https://www.youtube.com/c/TerribleWritingAdvice
I am trying to gain depth, to have consistent characters and stronger character development, I want to master layers of plot. I want to master world-building.
Most importantly of all, I want to avoid every mistake TWA ever mentions.

Quite frankly, I am tempted to recruit a group of Gamers and GM with the intent to turn the Recorded Minutes into a book.
The problem I have is that Players tend to readily form strong associations with other players in a way that is inconsistent with how the players interact with NPCs...
This is something that I feel is a massive gaping hole in writing character experiences with consistent internal dialogue for the characters.

I know there are ways I can improve. You are a READER.
You know the tired tropes. You know the rules of writing.
You know what causes you to lose interest.
You know what excites you.

I am having trouble in many areas. I need to improve.
I need your perspective to do better.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 6:28 pm
  

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If you decide to submit fiction to Palladium, or any other publisher, don't stress about it. Writing is supposed to be fun. If you're not having a good time, then why do it?

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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 8:23 pm
  

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Josh Hilden wrote:
If you decide to submit fiction to Palladium, or any other publisher, don't stress about it. Writing is supposed to be fun. If you're not having a good time, then why do it?


I know that Robert Kiyosaki (The author of the "Rich dad, Poor dad" and related books) is said to have had a book signing event.
He said, "One woman approached me and she demanded to know why I was so successful as an author, and she wasn't.
She pointed to many of his errors in the text, misspelled words, bad grammar, etc. She seemed near tears because she had
tried so hard to write her novel but could NEVER finish.
...I told her that *I wasn't trying to write a perfect book, I was only trying to write A book*"

I have a dual focus; Like the woman, I want to write as perfectly as possible. I want to write like Steinbeck, Hemingway, or hell... Piers Anthony!
At the same time, I want the story to be fun and to have plural QUALITIES that the readers can enjoy. The mental equivalent of a carnivore presented with a perfectly juicy steak.
I want to give the readers mystery, puzzles, questions to ask themselves, a desire to better themselves (the pursuit of physical and scholastic excellence), and perspectives on social issues...

Just like the fiction and fluff text we find in the Palladium books. Imagining I was transported to rifts earth? I'd join the coalition in a heartbeat. Quite simply because I wouldn't know anything was "off" until I experienced the coalition firsthand. I can just imagine some fan of the twilight books appearing on Rifts Earth, Say around Arizona. Would they really be willing to form an adventuring party with a "Wild Vampire"? Regardless of "romanticized" fiction, the absolute, finality of the vampire "Reality" should hopefully bring that person to their senses, before they become a gory splatter.
I ask you, "What is it that makes the coalition EVIL?"
The answer lay in the consequences of Emperor Prosek's rule; A deliberately dumbed-down populace that is treated like sheep. Ruling through hatred and fear. Constant merciless oppression. These things are EVIL...

and the price of these dictator decrees is yet to unfold. An uneducated populace is easy to control, but it is a populace that is powerless to empower its leaders. No doctors to return the wounded to battle, no mechanics to restore the salvaged machines of war, no chemists who can create the exacting perfect mixtures for military-grade explosives, no metallurgists who can repeat the process of "molecular bonded" alloy fabrication to make MDC materials, no physicists to create cyclotrons for particle beam cannons, for that matter...
No priests of any religion to oppose the undead hordes with the mind-blowing power of faith. No investigative reporters to search out corruption and conspiracies within.
No dissenting views to propel change for the better...
The Coalition doesn't realize it, but they are breeding WEAKNESS into that empire, and very soon it will be their downfall.

That's the thing about writing. I can write about my opinions. I can write about my feelings. I can graphically write some spicy encounters.

But... Can I really *TELL A STORY*? That's why writing can be HARD. That's what I want to do.
I want to truly enrich the mind of the reader with the depth of experience.
I want the READER to Ponder, and Feel, what I write.
_... I have to do better, I have to be better, I need to work harder...

Yes, writing is fun, but only the best writing is *WORTH* reading.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 8:48 pm
  

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Does anyone know about the author Crawford Killian and his Sci-Fi novel "Lifter"...?
If you don't I recommend it as a VERY GOOD read.

It may be a bit dated but it is still DAMN GOOD!


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 8:54 pm
  

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I would suggest the book On Writing by Stephen King.


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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 9:01 pm
  

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psiandco wrote:
Yes, writing is fun, but only the best writing is *WORTH* reading.


Worth is relative.

I've read Gone with the Wind twice and I still don't like the objectively worthy book.

Personally, if I don't have fun on a project I set it aside and work on something else.I had fun writing all of my published work.

But every writer has to work in the way that best suits them.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 10:18 pm
  

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Josh Hilden wrote:
psiandco wrote:
Yes, writing is fun, but only the best writing is *WORTH* reading.

Worth is relative.
Your opinion and while I don't precisely share in it, I can see what you are saying. My opinion is that Quality matters too.
Josh Hilden wrote:
I've read Gone with the Wind twice and I still don't like the objectively worthy book.
You have *EVERY* right to your opinion and to express it. Just because I am moved by "The Old Man and the sea" or disgusted by "lord of the flies" it doesn't mean EVERYONE ELSE HAS TO TOO. I myself don't like Louis L'Amour westerns. it does not make me a monster.
Josh Hilden wrote:
Personally, if I don't have fun on a project I set it aside and work on something else. I had fun writing all of my published work, but every writer has to work in the way that best suits them.
I absolutely concur. (*I mean no offense nor am I challenging you with this affirmation; actually, I want to read your writing. Will I be able to find it if I type your name into Google? if not, can you tell me where I can find it?) Scratch that. I just did the google search and you have a PAGE devoted to you and your work on GOOD READS.
The people on GOOD READS are not easily impressed. You have a page on Good Reads... Now, I am *thoroughly* *impressed* and want to read your work.
***ASIDE***
Your focus seems to be "fun", which (I think) means I need to convey to you as a reader, scenes, and actions consistent with a pace that matches the enthusiasm you want to feel. Like telling a joke with a punchline, if you "do it wrong" the joke can never be funny. I kind of get that, largely because I am one of "those" people who can't "tell a joke", or do "door-to-door" sales. It is communication on another, more visceral level that I just Do not grasp... Yet.


Last edited by psiandco on Mon Aug 01, 2022 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 10:22 pm
  

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AlexM wrote:
I would suggest the book On Writing by Stephen King.


Thank you, I will get it this evening and start studying it. Though, Sometimes I feel King's writing is tedious to get through. I don't enjoy everything he has written.
However, you gotta respect a man who has more number 1's than I have years alive.

and for this reason, as well:
Stephen King, Book "Misery" approximate quote ... Nuuuuummmmmba WWwwwwuuuuuunnn FFffffaaaaannnnn....
I still have nightmares about that book and that character.


Last edited by psiandco on Tue Aug 02, 2022 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postPosted: Mon Aug 01, 2022 11:00 pm
  

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Josh Hilden wrote:
psiandco wrote:
Yes, writing is fun, but only the best writing is *WORTH* reading.

Worth is relative.
I've read Gone with the Wind twice and I still don't like the objectively worthy book.
Personally, if I don't have fun on a project I set it aside and work on something else.I had fun writing all of my published work.
But every writer has to work in the way that best suits them.


YOU WROTE DEAD REGIN!?!

Now I have to get. I don't like Zombies in the least,
My brain just automatically tries to poke holes in it.
(*How do they "see", "Smell", "hear" prey?
How does a limb move if the muscle tissue is GONE, etc.
It brings me back to Shax Spear, "more things than in yo' philosphy, dude!"
but I always want a more "Solid" answer. I always want answers with "Substance".)

Your Good Reads page has 68 Followers and 2,674 fans...
Which of your Science fiction titles do you recommend?


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 7:40 am
  

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Comment: Yeah yeah yeah just give me my damn XP already :)
Just so you're aware the dead reign Josh wrote is nowhere near what palladium actually published.

There's a whole sordid story behind the why. Buyer beware.

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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 8:18 am
  

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Knight

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Fenris2020 wrote:
Hotrod wrote:
The original novels have been re-edited by Rex Barkdoll and re-released. Tales of the Chi-town Burbs is an excellent anthology. There’s also Duty’s Edge, a standalone Rifts novel published last year. Full disclosure: I wrote Duty’s Edge.

I’d love to see Palladium make money from some more successful novels.



So, the first novel is now complete and readable? The next two are lacking the spelling errors and sentence fragments? Maybe I'll give them another chance, if so.
I'd like to see well-written novels from Palladium's game worlds; I'd also like to see Palladium's reputation become a bit more positive, especially among we veterans.


My understanding is that the latest printings of the original novels are much more readable and have far fewer errors than they originally had. Given how helpful and attentive he was working with me on Duty's Edge, I think you'll find them much more pleasant to read. I would only caveat that Rex was focused on correcting writing errors in a copy-editing sense like grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. He was not correcting problems like "this character needs more development" or "more showing and less telling" or "this plot is confusing."

I haven't picked up the new printings yet, so I can't speak from my own reading, but I've heard they are much improved for his efforts.

_________________
Hotrod
Author, Rifter Contributor, and Map Artist
Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
Also, check out my Instant NPC Generators!
Like what you see? There's more on my Patreon Page.
Image


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 8:22 am
  

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psiandco wrote:
https://palladiumbooks.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=183908

here is the link. Give me your criticism, and I will try again and strive to do better.


This, right here, is a good approach and attitude. I'm not all caught up with what you've written so far, but I liked the first few entries.

_________________
Hotrod
Author, Rifter Contributor, and Map Artist
Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
Also, check out my Instant NPC Generators!
Like what you see? There's more on my Patreon Page.
Image


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 9:16 am
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
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jaymz wrote:
Just so you're aware the dead reign Josh wrote is nowhere near what palladium actually published.
There's a whole sordid story behind the why. Buyer beware.


There is more than one author who has said something about "differences of opinion" to put it lightly.
but I still have no clue about any of the details...
I don't know if the onus for any misdeed is on the writer, or on palladium.
then I find myself asking, "does it matter? was the end product improved or was the quality sacrificed?"
Since I will never know...


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 10:49 am
  

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psiandco wrote:
jaymz wrote:
Just so you're aware the dead reign Josh wrote is nowhere near what palladium actually published.
There's a whole sordid story behind the why. Buyer beware.


There is more than one author who has said something about "differences of opinion" to put it lightly.
but I still have no clue about any of the details...
I don't know if the onus for any misdeed is on the writer, or on palladium.
then I find myself asking, "does it matter? was the end product improved or was the quality sacrificed?"
Since I will never know...


I can't speak to others' experiences. My own experience working with Palladium has been positive.

_________________
Hotrod
Author, Rifter Contributor, and Map Artist
Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
Also, check out my Instant NPC Generators!
Like what you see? There's more on my Patreon Page.
Image


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 10:53 am
  

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Knight

Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2001 1:01 am
Posts: 3420
Location: Orion Arm, Milky Way Galaxy
psiandco wrote:
Josh Hilden wrote:
psiandco wrote:
Yes, writing is fun, but only the best writing is *WORTH* reading.

Worth is relative.
I've read Gone with the Wind twice and I still don't like the objectively worthy book.
Personally, if I don't have fun on a project I set it aside and work on something else.I had fun writing all of my published work.
But every writer has to work in the way that best suits them.


YOU WROTE DEAD REGIN!?!

Now I have to get. I don't like Zombies in the least,
My brain just automatically tries to poke holes in it.
(*How do they "see", "Smell", "hear" prey?
How does a limb move if the muscle tissue is GONE, etc.
It brings me back to Shax Spear, "more things than in yo' philosphy, dude!"
but I always want a more "Solid" answer. I always want answers with "Substance".)

Your Good Reads page has 68 Followers and 2,674 fans...
Which of your Science fiction titles do you recommend?

Josh also wrote a trilogy of zombie novels that I enjoyed called "Shores of the Dead." He's got quite a lot of other books out as well that I haven't read (yet).

_________________
Hotrod
Author, Rifter Contributor, and Map Artist
Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
Also, check out my Instant NPC Generators!
Like what you see? There's more on my Patreon Page.
Image


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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:58 pm
  

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Comment: Professional Word Monkey
Dead Reign was released 14 years ago. I was a baby writer then, still finding my chops and sharpening my quill. My writing partner at the time (Sanford) and I wrote the book's first draft. What was released was more Kevin's vision than what was pitched. You'll have a better idea of what I was going for if you read the sampler in Rigter 40 and the additional info in Rifter 45. All of that said, I don't talk about the Dead Reign experience anymore. It's ancient history better left in the past.

As to one of my more recent books to try, I recommend On An Alien Shore Book 1 Beached

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Last edited by Josh Hilden on Tue Aug 02, 2022 4:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Unread postPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2022 12:59 pm
  

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Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:46 pm
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Comment: Professional Word Monkey
Hotrod wrote:
psiandco wrote:
Josh Hilden wrote:
psiandco wrote:
Yes, writing is fun, but only the best writing is *WORTH* reading.

Worth is relative.
I've read Gone with the Wind twice and I still don't like the objectively worthy book.
Personally, if I don't have fun on a project I set it aside and work on something else.I had fun writing all of my published work.
But every writer has to work in the way that best suits them.


YOU WROTE DEAD REGIN!?!

Now I have to get. I don't like Zombies in the least,
My brain just automatically tries to poke holes in it.
(*How do they "see", "Smell", "hear" prey?
How does a limb move if the muscle tissue is GONE, etc.
It brings me back to Shax Spear, "more things than in yo' philosphy, dude!"
but I always want a more "Solid" answer. I always want answers with "Substance".)

Your Good Reads page has 68 Followers and 2,674 fans...
Which of your Science fiction titles do you recommend?

Josh also wrote a trilogy of zombie novels that I enjoyed called "Shores of the Dead." He's got quite a lot of other books out as well that I haven't read (yet).


It's more than 7 books now. :D

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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:30 am
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
Josh Hilden wrote:

I bought a copy and I am reading it. I will withhold my final judgment for when I have finished the whole thing.
There are tiny errors here and there. Nothing big, all of which could be computer caused. Not just auto-correct, but Ms Office products storing edits as separate T$P files...
(*You take your thumb drive to the publishers and BAM! you look like an idiot because the T$P files aren't included with your draft). It is a quality read, I'm on chapter 21. My amazon firepad (Kindle reader) irks me something fierce by not showing page numbers...

My gripes:
1. Wunderkid - this is a cliche, but you aren't abusing the cliche yet. Prodigies are real, but prodigies with the mental maturity of adults? I have my doubts.
2. One in every bunch - Great! a Serial killer. just pointing out the serial killer as an obvious plot device.
3. ACAB- false and woke . when the wunderkid is beating up "Uncle Karl" verbally and uses the "So that is why you're a cop"... well, I have to say. this is thoroughly ate up idiocy. people who become police officers might want to help others, serve the community, honor a family tradition, etc. etc. etc. Police officers are held to the most demanding of standards and have to deal with the worst humanity has to offer every day. How your writing accuses them with sweeping generalizations? ugh. bad form.
5. The father figure as a failure - so beaten with a dead horse. I am surprised you didn't add on sentences about "always working so hard, never had time for the kids"... but hey, make the guy a child abuser and that's all included right?
6. White male as incompetent- also deader than the horse. also, it is getting to be rather racist in and of itself, isn't it? I would say so.
7. Christians as INSANE MONSTERS- This is where you need to take the flag pole out of your bum. honestly.
I know, your minister character has had some kind of brain damage and hallucinations, but this writing is so cliche' it makes me want to vomit.
I am going to tell you this is wrong, a gutless strawman tactic, and leave it at that.
8. the lesbian gah-gah factor and the "stepkid in love with the other stepkid", who live in the same house, they aren't related, and they want to screw.
Both of these read like you are asking for permission slips from the reader to include deviant fetishes, incest, and who knows what else (*dogs maybe?).
gross. just gross. These things are so shoved into the public entertainment realm, that having a healthy NORMAL straight relationship grow over time would be more shocking and more attention-grabbing.
Thus far: You're sounding out of touch, jaded, and "on the verge" of letting your mask slip.
Summation? Too much CNN.
Sentence? unplug for a season. live in a cabin. chop wood. cook your food on a stove. plant a garden...
Connect with Reality. maybe practice doing the one and only thing that can make a baby with an unrelated human female who wants to do it with you.

Warning: Warning for gross violations of Rule 2. Flaming/ Harrassment


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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 8:59 am
  

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Palladin

Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:33 pm
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Location: Peterborough, Ontario
Comment: Yeah yeah yeah just give me my damn XP already :)
Ok dude. I can't take you seriously after using "woke" as you have, "deviant fetishes" in regards to a lesbian, relationship, and complaining about the portrayal of Christianity when it has literally done more damage to America than any other ideology and continues to do so.

Your "review" is nothing more than a hatchetjob.

Summation? Too much fox "news".

_________________
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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:59 am
  

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Knight

Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2001 1:01 am
Posts: 3420
Location: Orion Arm, Milky Way Galaxy
psiandco wrote:
Josh Hilden wrote:

I bought a copy and I am reading it. I will withhold my final judgment for when I have finished the whole thing.
There are tiny errors here and there. Nothing big, all of which could be computer caused. Not just auto-correct, but Ms Office products storing edits as separate T$P files...
(*You take your thumb drive to the publishers and BAM! you look like an idiot because the T$P files aren't included with your draft). It is a quality read, I'm on chapter 21. My amazon firepad (Kindle reader) irks me something fierce by not showing page numbers...

My gripes:
1. Wunderkid - this is a cliche, but you aren't abusing the cliche yet. Prodigies are real, but prodigies with the mental maturity of adults? I have my doubts.
2. One in every bunch - Great! a Serial killer. just pointing out the serial killer as an obvious plot device.
3. ACAB- false and woke . when the wunderkid is beating up "Uncle Karl" verbally and uses the "So that is why you're a cop"... well, I have to say. this is thoroughly ate up idiocy. people who become police officers might want to help others, serve the community, honor a family tradition, etc. etc. etc. Police officers are held to the most demanding of standards and have to deal with the worst humanity has to offer every day. How your writing accuses them with sweeping generalizations? ugh. bad form.
5. The father figure as a failure - so beaten with a dead horse. I am surprised you didn't add on sentences about "always working so hard, never had time for the kids"... but hey, make the guy a child abuser and that's all included right?
6. White male as incompetent- also deader than the horse. also, it is getting to be rather racist in and of itself, isn't it? I would say so.
7. Christians as INSANE MONSTERS- This is where you need to take the flag pole out of your bum. honestly.
I know, your minister character has had some kind of brain damage and hallucinations, but this writing is so cliche' it makes me want to vomit.
I am going to tell you this is wrong, a gutless strawman tactic, and leave it at that.
8. the lesbian gah-gah factor and the "stepkid in love with the other stepkid", who live in the same house, they aren't related, and they want to screw.
Both of these read like you are asking for permission slips from the reader to include deviant fetishes, incest, and who knows what else (*dogs maybe?).
gross. just gross. These things are so shoved into the public entertainment realm, that having a healthy NORMAL straight relationship grow over time would be more shocking and more attention-grabbing.
Thus far: You're sounding out of touch, jaded, and "on the verge" of letting your mask slip.
Summation? Too much CNN.
Sentence? unplug for a season. live in a cabin. chop wood. cook your food on a stove. plant a garden...
Connect with Reality. maybe practice doing the one and only thing that can make a baby with an unrelated human female who wants to do it with you.


A few thoughts for you:

First, tropes aren't intrinsically good or bad, and whether or not they're cliche depends a lot on how the author uses them and the context of their use.

Second, I think it's important to remember that a work of fiction proves nothing. I'm confident Josh knows this. The fact that Josh portrays a cop a as a bastard in the story doesn't mean that Josh thinks that all cops are bastards, or that he's trying to convince you of that.

Third, it's ok for authors (heck, anyone) to explore and present all kinds of different perspectives, and the fact that you don't share those perspectives doesn't mean that there's something wrong with the author or you. I categorically disagree with Jaymz's statement that Christianity "has literally done more damage to America than any other ideology and continues to do so," but that doesn't mean that Jaymz is a bigot who doesn't deserve to be heard. It just means we see things differently, and I'm sure he has his reasons for seeing things as he does. Maybe we'll have a conversation about that someday. I hope we can.

Telling someone with whom you disagree that their views or opinions are wrong and that they should go away and disengage from the world doesn't defeat their views or opinions. At most, such a suggestion only suppresses those views, and suppressing views breeds resentment.

I discovered this video several years ago, and I make it a point to watch it every year to remind myself that it's possible to bridge gaps and have fruitful discussions, even with people who say and do things I consider despicable. If you have a few free minutes, I highly recommend it.

_________________
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Author, Rifter Contributor, and Map Artist
Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
Also, check out my Instant NPC Generators!
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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:22 am
  

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Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:46 pm
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Comment: Professional Word Monkey
First I am sorry the story isn’t our cup of tea. Different strokes for different folks an all that. Second, I am appreciative of you spending your time and money to give the book a chance. Most people wouldn’t do that

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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:58 am
  

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Knight

Joined: Fri Apr 13, 2001 1:01 am
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Josh Hilden wrote:
First I am sorry the story isn’t our cup of tea. Different strokes for different folks an all that. Second, I am appreciative of you spending your time and money to give the book a chance. Most people wouldn’t do that

This is taking criticism with class.

_________________
Hotrod
Author, Rifter Contributor, and Map Artist
Duty's Edge, a Rifts novel. Available as an ebook, PDF,or printed book.
Check out my maps here!
Also, check out my Instant NPC Generators!
Like what you see? There's more on my Patreon Page.
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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:09 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
Hotrod wrote:
A few thoughts for you:
First, tropes aren't intrinsically good or bad, and whether or not they're cliche depends a lot on how the author uses them and the context of their use.
Second, I think it's important to remember that a work of fiction proves nothing. I'm confident Josh knows this. The fact that Josh portrays a cop a as a bastard in the story doesn't mean that Josh thinks that all cops are bastards, or that he's trying to convince you of that.
Third, it's ok for authors (heck, anyone) to explore and present all kinds of different perspectives, and the fact that you don't share those perspectives doesn't mean that there's something wrong with the author or you. I categorically disagree with Jaymz's statement that Christianity "has literally done more damage to America than any other ideology and continues to do so," but that doesn't mean that Jaymz is a bigot who doesn't deserve to be heard. It just means we see things differently, and I'm sure he has his reasons for seeing things as he does. Maybe we'll have a conversation about that someday. I hope we can.
Fourth. Telling someone with whom you disagree that their views or opinions are wrong and that they should go away and disengage from the world doesn't defeat their views or opinions. At most, such a suggestion only suppresses those views, and suppressing views breeds resentment..


1. Cliche overuse is something all writers should avoid. if the majority of one's writing is cliche, then issues of "predictability" and "unoriginality" creep in. Creativity is original. while the "mature-prodigy" is the pinnacle fantasy of all rebellious teens going through the phase of asserting their identity and independence, 9999999% of the time, this view is not reality. what Josh appears to be doing is "exposition" of this Teen-Vs-adult conflict. Yet, he hasn't overdone this I am on chapter 21 after all.
2. the child uses the adult's career as an AXIOM of why the adult is an obviously mentally ill sadistic villain. Would it be okay to say, "you work at an elementary school = you are a pedophile"? no. that is an unfair Sweeping generalization and a false accusation that all people who work at elementary schools are evil monsters that should have their genders cut out. in our society, some people HAVE TO teach, just as some people HAVE TO enforce the law, choosing a career does not make Psychosis the end-all-be-all defacto reason for choosing that employment. I am 50, I have held 20 different jobs, fully trained in multiple M.O.S. during military service. Being trained in mortuary affairs, hospital administration, public health, food service, fuels management, fuels lab, Heavy transport equipment, cryonics, diplomatic attaché, and more doesn't make me an X,Y,Z, (*in terms of mental health) because I was trained to do any one of those jobs. however, it enabled me to perform roles for the military and take so-called "functionary positions" that no one career field could fill.
3. Yes. presenting different materials is fine. Claiming a dogma is the only way you can exist is wrong. Reality is objective and absolute. Reality doesn't change. Reality is not a dogma or belief created by us. At the same time, None of us are born with absolute knowledge of what our reality IS. We can learn from others by communicating experiences, or we can experience for ourselves. How we learn about reality isn't always by direct personal experience. I for one think it would be a bad Idea to walk off the top of a scyscraper to test gravity, or climb inside of an Iron maiden to "see what it feels like" for example. Presenting fiction as an absolute fact, does cross a line though... that is called LYING.
Holding to a false belief that conflicts with objective reality can be harmful; to one's self, to others, to nations, to entire worlds. Such things are delusions, a person who is "misguided" by false claims and false beliefs is "Delusional". When living life (the day to day experiences) causes a person constant and consistent mental distress, it is very likely they are harboring delusional beliefs. That the delusional person is in conflict with eternal, absolute, unchanging, REALITY. I present my opinion that the dogma of "woke" persons is "delusional" and is opposed to Reality. I define "woke" as self-righteousness and trying to force disingenuous justification for hedonistic/narcissistic desires as the only reality, and an adamant refusal to accept anything that says, "No" to those pursuits. That is disconnected from objective reality. it promotes subjective views as the only allowable "facts" and threatens to attack anything that doesn't INSTANTLY and IMMEDIATELY worship persons who follow the Woke dogma.
sorry but,
Ten marbles are placed in a jar. eleven people are told "take one marble".
The reality is that "ONLY TEN PEOPLE" can take a marble.
The eleventh person cannot.
This goes beyond "self-discipline" or "morals"... it is REALITY.
hypothesizing all the ways the eleventh person "can have a marble too" is an exercise in delusion.
Forcing everyone to practice those delusions regardless of the pain and suffering it may cause..?
Leveling accusations/attacks at each other when those delusions don't work..?
that is "Woke".

4. "unplug and go do REAL LIFE". this isn't an attack. it is a very effective method of personally connecting to OBJECTIVE REALITY far from opinionated sources of subjective claims.
it is more than an urge for people to "Think for yourselves", it is urging people to discover their own delusions and abandon them by virtue of personal experience and discovery.

that's all. No hate. no attacks. just me expressing my opinion.


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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:28 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
our senses are fallible. the phrase "Optical illusion" can be something of a misnomer, when it is the behavior of our brains creating a false impression.
The reality is that "Light" didn't create the illusion. The light and its governing laws are objective reality, the illusion we perceive is our subjective experience.
it is absolutely vital that we human beings do not ever confuse the two.
our senses can be fooled. we can be deceived.
We do not have absolute knowledge of what "Truth" is.
Our subjective views are often products of our "wants" and "desires"...
There is danger when our subjective views oppose or reject "real needs" and "real reality".
When the conflict does come up; REALITY always wins.

it behooves us all to seek the truth in *ALL* things.
There is only ONE reality.
ergo,
There can only be ONE TRUTH.


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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 9:55 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
Josh Hilden wrote:
First I am sorry the story isn’t our cup of tea. Different strokes for different folks an all that. Second, I am appreciative of you spending your time and money to give the book a chance. Most people wouldn’t do that


I purchased a copy to read because "I Do" want to explore your writing and your style.
You don't drag things out (I put on my socks, I put on my pants, I put on my shoes, I brush my teeth, I eat breakfast, I go to work)
You don't abbreviate everything as "obvious" either.
You don't "tell" the reader that "Karl is an abusive tool"... You show it, through his character, his deeds, his thoughts, his actions.

yet somethings do need more detail. to be continued.


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 Post subject: lol wut
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:00 pm
  

Champion

Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am
Posts: 1674
Comment: They/Them
I'd pay money to read an anthology collection of vignettes in the lives of different beings on Rifts Earth. I'd prefer it shy away from previously named characters, and instead try to depict the mental state of those both familiar and wildly dissimilar to ourselves.

Perhaps the prejudice a Dewtani encounters while traversing western Missouri has some parallel to human experience, but how does an Amorph living in Psyscape see the world? A person living in one of the Yama Hells might well have to live with their recently dead and damned relatives, being forced to shuttle them from work detail to scheduled torture, and back, knowing they too will one day suffer the same fate. A child might be forced by their parents to deny their budding psychic abilities in hopes of gaining citizenship in an arcology. A novice Cyber Knight receives a dream vision; a Jungle Elf communes with a Tree of Wisdom; a Darkhound tails a caravan in a dimly-understood sense of belonging.

Sell me a couple of hundred pages of that as a paperback.

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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:28 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
The story premise: a Huge Yacht vanishes in the Bermuda triangle. what happened? (*This is intriguing!)
The effect: The passengers and crew are faced with the incomprehensible (Like Bees trying to figure out a window)
The reality: All of the survivors are now in a High risk Survival situation, with many, many, many unkowns.
Another reality: People are people and when trapped in an extreme "universe" of unknown dangers... (we all freak out)

This book has people's subjective worlds flying apart at the seams and they are all acting out because of it.
They have yet to face their reality though.
the "Shiznit" storm is only just beginning.

Warning: Warning for intentionally circumventing the profanity filter


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Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:11 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
You have a child prodigy character.
yet, I am (the reader) never once privy to that, or his "Genius" thought processes.
The book oversimplifies and abbreviates the character performing an "Emergency Tracheotomy"...
There is no thought process, no diagnosis, no planning, no deliberate logical steps are taken.
Does he clean the site of the incision?
does he sterilize his tools?
what method? alcohol, heat, what? why?
How does he know where to cut?
does he go one finger up from the clavicle? or one finger down from the adam's apple (larynx)?
Does he know to cut between the ribbing of the trachea?
Doesn't he know that a mere "Slash" won't do the job,
That at some point he will have to Stab/puncture the wind pipe?
No crunch sound?
No one objects to his "surgery"?
Is the Pen tube sterilized?
Does he pack the wound with cotton?
Does he use tape to secure all of his work in place?
"I saw it on TV" does not a genius make...

all of this "thinking" can happen in the span of a second, that is what a genius does.
Genius Recalls and Calculates without error (far beyond the normal mind).

The book does this again when the child prodigy explains an EPR bridge.
It doesn't once tap into the thought process, the reasoning, nor does it do the "Homework".
Why is it a wormhole?
if the earth is moving in an elliptical orbit, and traveling with the rest of the entire solar system around the galaxy...
why is the triangle a seemingly fixed anomalous location on earth?
if the wormhole is artificial does this theory satisfactorily model its erratic behavior?
The kid doesn't show us the math. he doesn't "think about it". he tells us and that's that. ugh, NO.
you as a writer have to "do the homework".
(research is pivotal to communicating facts and experience)
if the ship passed through the wormhole, why can't they just turn around and go back?
what are the physics and rules of the wormhole?
What are the physics and rules of faster than light travel?
Why is the ship and all of its contents intact?
Giving a character a title doesn't make their character obvious.
In many of my posts, I make a lot of assumptions, some of which are wrong...
does this mean I am a genius or not a genius based on the content I have written?
we all can argue for "NEITHER", "and", "OR"

until we have a solid argument composed of factual statements and supporting evidence.
**************************
I am saying, your prodigy character needs refining.


Last edited by psiandco on Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: lol wut
Unread postPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:24 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
Curbludgeon wrote:
Sell me a couple of hundred pages of that as a paperback.

So, you want a book that will make you feel validated and get your ears tickled by confirmations of what you subjectively believe to be true?
...Me so smart, cause me likey x..?

that's not valid. not by any means.
If a book about an electrician working on electronic devices, doesn't engage your "beliefs", it isn't a good book?
that's ignorance.

A truly good book is much more content than what will ever tickle your fancy, I guarantee.
Some of that will hurt you.
some of that will make you cry.
some of that can make you question your own beliefs.

That is what good writting is supposed to do.
If you want confirmation of your opinions, go to your mirror and talk to your reflection.

That has the added bonus of being FREE.
also, if you want self-gratification, you can... LOL, WUT?

Warning: Warning for violation of Rule 2. Flaming/ Harrassment


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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 12:35 am
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
jaymz wrote:
Ok dude. I can't take you seriously after using "woke" as you have, "deviant fetishes" in regards to a lesbian, relationship, and complaining about the portrayal of Christianity when it has literally done more damage to America than any other ideology and continues to do so.
Your "review" is nothing more than a hatchetjob.
Summation? Too much fox "news".


...and you have every right to your opinion and have every right to express it. Congratulations on exercising your right to free speech.
does your expressing your opinion make them the ONLY VALID OPINION ALLOWED ANYWHERE? no. nope. absolutely not.

Me, I am married. I have had so much sexual intercourse during my 50 years of living that the deed is now kind of pointless to me. can you believe that?
Also, I do not have any children. can you believe that? I have had intimate adventures and encounters that would positively make your head explode.
I have done things that YOU cannot imagine...
does this make me smarter than you? no. Does this make me better than you? no. Does this make me more correct in morality than you? no.
however, You have Anchored what you call "sexuality" to morality and equate the two as one and the same.
in no uncertain terms, you are wrong.

The ONE and ONLY biological act that can make a baby, is "Sex". anything other than that is *NOT* sex. That is debauched self-gratification regardless of who, how many, or what you need to trick your body into a false "O". If you need "something" to achieve a False "O" that is the literal definition of a fetish. if you manipulate your parts to get a happy ending, that is not sex either. not even if it takes twenty people to help you do it. Nothing about these behaviors have anything to do with MORALITY.
Disconnected from the realities all around you, Your subjective view that the pursuit of hedonism and debauchery is the ONLY WORTHY MORAL, and anything that says "NO" is rupugnant EVIL to be attacked and destroyed?
is the very essence of what I call WOKE.

I say "NO" to acts that you desire and you react with hate.
Christianity has atleast five claims that the creator of everything said "acts you desire" are disgusting, repugnant and are abominations...
and you react with hate, and lies, because it is convenient for you to do so.

let me boggle your mind here,
What if personal responsibility matters? what if you are MEANT to EARN those moments of intimacy?
think about it.

If you MUST earn the right to intimate privileges...
engaging in them with wanton abandon is WRONG
it becomes especially wrong when you involve others who DO NOT GIVE THEIR CONSENT.
I shouldn't have to explain these things to anyone. This isn't hate. This isn't evil or wrong.
telling you "NO" you can't have the cookies for the next ten minutes is not EVIL.
Telling you "you can have one cookie now, or you can wait and get rewarded with four cookies" That is not evil either.

if you feel otherwise. If you feel me saying these things is a crime that must be punished with ostracism, abuse, or even DEATH...
I am going to tell you, YOU ARE WRONG.

THINK, will ya?

Warning: Warning for violation of Rule 2. Flaming/ Harrassment (including flamebaiting)


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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 1:10 am
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
Way back when, when I worked in Hospital administration I knew a girl who used the word "LOVE" for everything. Oh I love IceCream, OH I LOVE SQUIRELS, oh I love that, Oh I love that movie. She didn't have any concept of degree, intensity, distinguishing differences, or any other emotion. (not like, not enjoy, not find delicious, not Pleasant, not good, not nice) EVERYTHING was "love"...

after reality broke her delusional thinking...
She actually started to use other words.

Why it took an act of violence to force emotional growth, an increase in common sense understanding, and greater maturity upon her? I will never understand.


Last edited by psiandco on Sat Aug 06, 2022 2:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 1:16 am
  

Champion

Joined: Tue Mar 13, 2018 7:08 am
Posts: 1674
Comment: They/Them
Do you have someone you can talk to?

_________________
Je n'ai fait celle-ci plus longue que parce que je n'ai pas eu le loisir de la faire plus courte.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 2:58 am
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
Curbludgeon wrote:
Do you have someone you can talk to?


Hotel California. by the Eagles.
Here: https://youtu.be/g16-FYr3W9M

Tell me. What does it mean? what is it ABOUT?


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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 6:42 am
  

User avatar
Palladin

Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:33 pm
Posts: 11195
Location: Peterborough, Ontario
Comment: Yeah yeah yeah just give me my damn XP already :)
So hold...

So you are here asking how to be a better writer then babble on about how writers should actually write...

Then in reply to my opinion babble about how much sex you have had and that you have no kids among other things...

Cool....good for you...carry on. I'll just be over here in a place the real world. Thanks for stopping by.

_________________
I am very opinionated. Yes I rub people the wrong way but at the end of the day I just enjoy good hard discussion and will gladly walk away agreeing to not agree :D

Email - jlaflamme7521@hotmail.com, Facebook - Jaymz LaFlamme, Robotech.com - Icerzone

\m/


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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 10:43 am
  

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Champion

Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 6:46 pm
Posts: 1958
Location: The Midwest
Comment: Professional Word Monkey
Regardless of everything else, fiction writing is fun. :)

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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 5:36 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
Josh Hilden wrote:
Regardless of everything else, fiction writing is fun. :)

There is a movie that I watch to remind myself of how to improve my writing...
Her alibi
Staring
Tom Selleck
Great... Auto correct won't allow a spell check.


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Unread postPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2022 5:46 pm
  

Dungeon Crawler

Joined: Mon Jun 27, 2022 9:00 am
Posts: 202
jaymz wrote:
Cool....good for you...carry on. I'll just be over here in a place the real world. Thanks for stopping by.


Those books are over ten years old!
Remember that?
The epic of Gilgamesh
Enumaelish
Emerald tablets
Rig Vedas
Homer's illiad, oddesy
Plato
Aristotle
Socrates
Archimedes
Leonardo Da Vinci
Michelangelo
Voltare
Gothe
Mary Shelley

A whole lot of books...
Here is your invitation to having your own thoughts,
Instead of being programmed what to think.

Add to this list
Orwell
Huxley


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Unread postPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2022 5:19 pm
  

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Palladin

Joined: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:33 pm
Posts: 11195
Location: Peterborough, Ontario
Comment: Yeah yeah yeah just give me my damn XP already :)
Oh I already think for myself thanks.

One of the reasons why I don't consider a lesbian relationship to be a deviant fetish

But you do you boo.

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I am very opinionated. Yes I rub people the wrong way but at the end of the day I just enjoy good hard discussion and will gladly walk away agreeing to not agree :D

Email - jlaflamme7521@hotmail.com, Facebook - Jaymz LaFlamme, Robotech.com - Icerzone

\m/


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